We last left off our Squidport quest with Homer craving Fried Dough, the Sea Captain appearing promising rebuild Squidport, and the first store on Squidport being built the Itchy and Scratch Store. We pick up our walkthrough with Bart and Milhouse excited about the new store….
Missed part 1? You can find it here
The Fight and Buy-It
After tapping Bart
Bart: Gather together your birthday card twenties and “get well soon” fives! We’re going to the Itchy and Scratchy store!
Milhouse: Yes! Luckily I went to the ER three times last month, so I’m flush with cash.
Make Bart and Milhouse Browse the Itchy & Scratchy Store- 4hrs
Keep the Sea Captain free when complete
Milhouse: That place is a rip-off, Bart. This Scratchy keychain is clearly a re-painted Garfield with an ax in his head.
Bart: This Itchy and Scratchy ball bounces funny and makes my eyes water when I smell it. Also, it’s stamped with the words “Warning: Not a Toy!”
Milhouse: I just found money in my other pocket.
Bart: What are we waiting for? Let’s buy more crap!
Squidport Pt. 6
After tapping the Sea Captain
Sea Captain: T’is a start, but a short boardwalk is like a peg-leg dancing girl. If she’s right there, you’ll look at ‘er, but enh. Ye need to build more Boardwalk.
Homer: How do we do that? I mean, I know… but explain it slowly for people who aren’t as smart as me.
Sea Captain: Head ye over to the Squidport Entrance and then, er… I don’t know just build it. And ye can always speed the work along with donuts!
Homer: What a surprise.
Build Squidport Section(s)
Keep the Sea Captain free when complete
Tap the Squidport Entrance and make a few more Boardwalk sections (unless you’ve already done this). You’ll need a total of 8 pieces to start the next task, but you only need to build 1 to complete the task.
Squidport Pt. 7
After tapping the Sea Captain
Sea Captain: Little girl, I need some supplies, where can an old salt get hands on rope and tarps?
Lisa: Are you going out to sea again?
Sea Captain: Nay, I’m going to an Adele concert and wanted to unfurl a sign that says I heart her. I’ve got bad seats so it has to be a big one.
Lisa: Well, the boardwalk used to have a place that sold camping supplies.
Sea Captain: And it shall again. Fall on, men – the cheap seats await!
Build the Malaria Zone- $47,500, 24hrs Requires 8 Boardwalk tiles
Keep Bart free when complete
A Flair for Exploration Pt. 1
After tapping Bart
Bart: What kind of store is this? Thermal underwear, waterproof matches, flares… Oh my God! This stuff is awesome! Fires starter, extra long forks, something that turns pee into drinking water? Why haven’t I always been shopping here?!
Make Bart Buy Flares– 4hrs
A Flair for Exploration Pt. 2
After tapping Bart
Bart: A boy and his explosives. Is there anything more American?
Make Bart Set off Flares in the Brown House-12hrs
Squidport Pt. 8
After Tapping the Sea Captain
Sea Captain: Y’arr! The boardwalk is coming ‘round nicely, but still there’s something missing.
Ned Flanders: Mr. Captain, sir? If I could offer a suggestion… a spruce or two could really, well, spruce things up!
Sea Captain: That’s it exactly, matey! You gay men always have the best design advice.
Ned Flanders: Oh, I’m not homosexual.
Sea Captain: Neither am I, wink-wink! Now, let’s get decorating, girlfriend!
Place Boardwalk Decorations– 1 Boardwalk Lamp Post, 3 Boardwalk Trees & 5 Boardwalk Fences
Keep the Sea Captain free when complete
The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 3
After tapping the Sea Captain
Sea Captain: Now, my hearties, bring her about and her braced in a broach an ye can lay to that! Because… un, at three bells as the crow flies…er… sextant…
Lisa: Is everything okay, Sea Captain?
Sea Captain: I’ve been running out of nautical jargon to pepper me conversation with. Which is hard because, ye know, it’s my thing.
Lisa: You could pick up jargon from classic tales of the sea like “Treasure Island” or “Moby Dick”.
Sea Captain: Brilliant! You’re like one of them, ye know, light… buildings that shine for boats and stuff when the weather is… not good… Ya’rr. I’d best get to readin’.
Make the Sea Captain Read Nautical Literature– 24hrs
Squidport Pt. 9
After tapping the Sea Captain
Sea Captain: Y’arr! I’ve learned a thing or three in me travels. Things I’d like to share with the good folk o’ Springfield. Maybe a cultural imports store.
Lisa: It’s so wonderful that you want to expose people to the crafts and cultures of distant peoples!
Sea Captain: N’arr, I jest want to fleece tourists the way the locals fleeced me everywhere I went. Maybe unload some tribal gee-gaws I got conned inta buying.
Build Just Rainsticks- $52,000, 24hrs. Requires you have at least 12 Boardwalk Sections to build.
Keep Lisa free when Complete
Just Rainsticks
After tapping Lisa
Lisa: Ooh, an entire store filled with rainsticks! How can I choose just one?
Bart: Lis, even you have to see those things are beyond lame. It’s a giant, slow rattle.
Lisa: Rainsticks were invented by the Aztecs who believed that by recreating the sound of rain, they could call forth rainstorms to water their crops.
Bart: Well, they should have invented a stick that recreated the sound of them not being conquered by the Spanish.
Lisa: Wow. That was actually historically accurate.
Bart: I perk up in class when there’s ass-whoopings.
Make Lisa Browse for Rainsticks-4hrs
Keep the Sea Captain free when complete.
To be continued….Part 3
