To the Hominid Readers of Addicts,
King Snorky here. Over the last month, a certain “Star Wars Fan” who calls himself “The Wookiee” has been blabbering away about my introduction into some sort of game called “The Simpsons Tapped Out”. As a peaceable sort of fellow, I let this galoof run his silly mouth and even had myself a chuckle at his meager attempt to immortalize me using strange objects. Although I don’t get using garbage bins to replicate my majesty, at least the poor brute tried.
Floating joyously in the sea, I gave this trivial matter no more thought until I learned from my dolphin brethren that this monster had destroyed my honorable visage in his “town”.
Absolutely a declaration of war and I knew I had to take action. Need I remind you what happened the last time puny humans messed with my army?
NOTE: PRIOR TO INCAPACITATING THE WOOKIEE, I MADE THE BEAST CAPTURE THESE IMAGES FOR YOUR EDUCATION.
Lest you share the same fate, I have but one request. Kindly pay appropriate homage to me by adding my character into your towns this Halloween. For a meager 5,250 of your “GOO”, you will have the pleasure of my simulated company to make your town a wonder for all to see. If for no other reason, your tribute to me may engender sympathy and be enough to spare this shag carpet trembling beneath my tail fins.
P.S. You may wonder how this can truly be me since it would be hard to type using flippers. Well, I challenge you to jump 20 feet in the air through a flaming hoop while simultaneously executing a triple back flip humans. THEN we can talk about my computer skills. Still in disbelief? Well, kind sir, you’re next on my list.