Tapped Out Premium Walkthrough- Hardly Kirk-Ing

This is the final part to the walkthrough series for Luann. Money Vs Milhouse can be found here. Investorettes here.

Let’s jump right in…

Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt.1

After tapping on Kirk 

Kirk: Hey Luann! All my years of hard work finally paid off, by not paying off at all. I’m getting free check form the government!
Kirk: I’m even thinking about buying back my molars form that pawnshop. Do YOU get paid to do nothing?

Luann: Basically, yes. Running a cracker factory is like being on unemployment, only with more money and fewer forms.
Kirk: Oh man, I’ve got to fill out one form every two weeks. Why can’t I win?
Luann: Because you’re a loser. You’re the only man I know with a World’s Second Best Dad mug.
Kirk: Please give me back my job at the Cracker Factory. I’m not above begging. In fact, I’m well below it.
Luann: So you want to come crawling back to crackers?
Luann: Fine, I’ll hire you Kirk. But you’ll have to start at the beginning- as a cracker intern.

Make Luann Run the Cracker Factory- 8hrs
Make Kirk Work at the Cracker Factory- 8hrs

Kirk: Long day at the factory. Turns ot I only get two 15-minute breaks and both I’m required to spend working.
Kirk: And I’m pretty sure half the employees are pairs of children wearing giant trench coats.
Luann: you better not report those kids- I mean stacked adults- to the government or else I’ll have you fired.
Kirk: I didn’t think it was possible, but you’ve ruined the magic of crackers. You don’t have to fire me- I quit.

Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 2

Luann starts the quest

Luann: Kirk, if you want to stay a part of this family, you are going to have to get a real job.
Luann: And I know what you’re thinking, and that doesn’t include organ donor.
Kirk: I’ve been dedicating my time to the most important job there is- being a father.
Luann: Where’s Milhouse right now?
Kirk: Trick question! That’s not our son’s name. Oh wait, it is. Fine, I’ll get a job. Do you mind taking a look at my resume?
Luann: Hmm…cleaning vomit, scaring away birds, groveling…actually I might have the perfect job for you.
Luann: You can manage one of my Fleet-A-Pitas! Well, assistant manage. Actually just work there.

Kirk: I’m in management!

Make Kirk Clean Up Fleet-A-Pitas- 16hrs

Kirk: I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pedal pita when in my heart I know it’s just a soft, salt-less, un-American substitute cracker.
Kirk: But how can I tell Luann I want to quit?
Kirk: Maybe I can fake my own death, convince Luann I’m a ghost and live in the crawl space.
Kirk: Nah, she wouldn’t fall for that a second time.

Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 3

After tapping on Kirk

Kirk: Hey Homer, you seem to have it all together. Can I ask you for some advice?
Homer: Never train a monkey to do your job for you because then you’ll get a monkey boss. There you go! The first one’s free.
Kirk: Thanks Homer. But I was looking for some advice about my marriage.

Homer: Never bring the monkey home. You’re welcome!
Kirk: Luann doesn’t want me or need me.
Kirk: She’s better at everything than I am – running the factory, raising our son, even peeing standing up.
Homer: Don’t forget running the Cracker Factory.
Kirk: I already said that one.
Homer: She’s just really good at it. Like so much better than you.
Kirk: What am I going to do, Homer?
Homer: Don’t ask me. Marge handles all the relationship problems herself.
Homer: Why don’t you try a book? I’ve heard good things about them from Lisa.

Make Kirk Borrow a Self Help Book- 60 minutes

Kirk: Those self-help books really showed me the error of my ways.
Kirk: It turns out the secret to a healthy relationship is appreciating your partner and buying more self-help books.
Homer: Oh yeah, showing appreciation is important.
Homer: For instance, Marge fixes me breakfast every morning. And I… uh… drink beer.
Kirk: I should do something special for Luann! Are coupons for free hugs still a thing?
Homer: This isn’t your anniversary, Kirk. This calls for some serious romancing.
Homer: You should take her out to dinner… and don’t order anything that requires a bib.
Kirk: That sounds expensive. How’s an unemployed loser like me going to afford that?

Homer: Think of it as an investment. Invest money in Luann now, and once she lets you back in the house–
Kirk: I can steal money from her purse!

Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt.4

After tapping Kirk

Kirk: Luann, we have to talk.

Luann: What is it this time?
Kirk: I know I’ve been a huge disappointment to you and that I don’t deserve another chance but if you let me, I’d like to make it up to you.
Kirk: Let me take you to the most expensive dinner in town.
Kirk: It’s where they make normal food look weird and taste almost exactly the same. El Chemistri!
Luann: Is there a catch? How can you afford this?
Kirk: The owner of the restaurant owes me a favor. I let him hit me with his car for fun

Make Luann Dine at El Chemestri- 4hrs
Make Kirk Dine at El Chemestri- 4hrs

Luann: Kirk, I-I am speechless, I really didn’t expect something this thoughtful from you.
Luann: I actually don’t expect anything at all from you. Seriously ever.
Kirk: I’m always here to support you in this marriage, Luann.
Kirk: Emotionally, not financially. Just want to make that crystal clear.
Luann: Oh, Kirk. I guess you’ll do.
Kirk: You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words.

Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt.5

After tapping on Luann

Luann: I’ve thought it over and I think I haven’t been fair to you.
Luann: As long as you’re willing to do absolutely everything I say without question, then I’m willing to offer you your old management job back at the Cracker Factory.
Kirk: The job I was born for! Being an empty suit!
Luann: How about we carpool in the MegaGlobe today sweetheart? At least until I head to executive parking.

Make Luann Run the Cracker Factory- 8hrs
Make Kirk Run the Cracker Factory- 8hrs

Milhouse: I’m so glad my parents are no longer fighting!
Milhouse: At least for a week.

So ends Luann’s walkthroughs. Hope you enjoyed. 🙂

***Bunny***