Springfield Crashtastrophe! So it’s been just over a week since we got Level 38 and the Wookiee is going a little out of his mind. Why you ask? Well, it seems like the EA Gods have decided that the best way to empathize with readers having game issues, is to be just like them.
First and foremost, this is not a rant or me using my blogger privileges to complain. This whole intro is actually just a segway into some randomness from the resident fuzzball, I promise. After the download, my game doesn’t like me anymore. Seems she feels I tapped around way too much and is jealous that I stopped making art for her, She keeps mentioning another “town” I’ve started drawing in. Jeesh… some games. It’s not like I didn’t buy nice things for her and make sure she always had a well organized everything. My other town is only where I go to pursue my creative exploits. That girl is honestly a little ugly and if it wasn’t for my 2Ds superglued to her fridge, I’d never even visit.
See? Told you I’d be rambling. The point of this is actually two-fold. First, I totally get frustration when it comes the game. Besides this current event, I was right there with the Missing Homers crowd during Halloween. If you’re one of the unfortunate Addicterinos with game issues, stay strong! I’ll be right here with you and I promise I’ll share any insight I get from the process. I’m currently at the “specialized team” tier in the fix department over at EA. From past experience, and having quite a few neighboreenos who have had issues, I can tell you EA always comes through and fixes it. With one exception (still pulling for you Em!), it all works out. Maybe not perfectly, but we don’t live in a perfect world and Jebus knows Springfield is far from ideal.
Second is that my glitches and personal journeys have proven to me that there’s so much to do when you can’t make progress in your town. You’re on this blog and there is a ton of stuff here that could keep you occupied. I took a day to comb through all the content on the site and enjoyed myself so much more than I expected. I’ve read everything on the site at least once and still was able to have some laughs/giggles/head shaking moments. I know this option isn’t for everyone so here’s another.
Start the elusive “B” town. If it wasn’t for this little gem, I may have already lost it. If you have a second e-mail address, it’s really easy to start a new one. Log out of your origin, start an anonymous game and then associate it with your second e-mail. Sure you have to start from scratch but we all have probably said, “If I could do that over knowing what I know now.” Here’s your chance! You may find your second Springfield is a better girl than the one you have now (unlike my ugly dissension-causer).
There are so many options available. Have you checked out tapped-out.co.uk. yet? Basically the FB for TSTO, there are so many great folks over there. I have vented my game crash frustration over there and all my peeps have been so supportive. Another option is the Addicts Flickr page. So many great screenshots over there. Before Alissa reminded me to stop whining and play with my “B” town, I was living vicariously through all the Flickr folks enjoying their greenery. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a friend or find some inspiration for future designs. Once upon a time, Bunny and I became pals on Flickr so I can promise it’s possible. Speaking of Bunny, she even did a great post about starting your own Flickr account.
So quick recap… patience, contacting EA patiently, what does the blog say?, patiently forgiving the Wookiee for mentioning that song again, create/play a “B” town, TSTO social media and Flickr (patience might be involved for those last two also).
If none of those options sound appealing, you could always make up stories in your head. As only I could do, I also spent a little time creating my own story just from the TSTO load screen because that’s all I’ve seen for a while. I call this little slice of TSTO Fiction, Beware the Shadow.
Running and running. Sweating and panting. Why oh why did Homer find himself in this predicament? Everyone knows he disliked exercise. The last time he’d really run had been to convince Ned Flanders that Edna was worth his time even if she was a harlot. Sure he’d gotten a treadmill once but that ended up being an awesome platform to watch a LOST parody in private.
It was all the Sky Finger’s fault. Ever since he’d blown up Springfield, God had decided it was time to take action and descend from on high to tamper with everything. Sure he’d shown up at several moments previously but this was getting ridiculous.
He could almost ignore the sudden appearance of buildings in town or that Marge hadn’t stopped walking Maggie for months, but then Halloween happened. The clouds rolled in and all of a sudden Homer was scared. Everything was misty and foggy and then that mysterious fortune teller showed up again, this time without the Leprechaun!
Homer hadn’t noticed until this moment that he seemed to be reliving scenes from his past. Sure he had funny things to say but they all seemed like they’d been written by some outside presence and then forced out of his mouth in closed captioning. Why would he say things like “Woohoo, new building!” or “Better him than me?” Even Moe had commented that he seemed strange and hadn’t been visiting Moe’s nearly enough.
The cloudy skies seemed ominous and Homer could almost swear he heard eerie music everywhere. Marge all of a sudden had started acting like a Witch and the kids were trick or treating even though it was only the beginning of October. What was a Simpson to do? Sure he could always go visit his Dad but the Retirement Castle was just a waste of time. That place hadn’t even collected any adult childcare fees since it had re-opened.
Than like a bolt of lightning, Homer knew what he had to do. It was so simple really. Why hadn’t he thought of it before? All he had to do was pretend he was Pacman and gobble up donuts. Ever since Springfield’s rebirth, the almighty donut had become a precious commodity in town. Heck, he sometimes found them when he suddenly felt compelled to clean up rubbish. They even fell from the sky on occasion. In May, he’d even found ten lying by the Jebediah Springfield statue. Never mind that it felt like a phantom had jabbed him ten times while he was innocently trying to play on his MyPad.
The exhilaration! Playing Pacman was all that he ever dreamed it could be. The donuts stretched out in a row and it was an all-you can eat smorgasbord of sugary goodness. He ate away as the grass turned to ocean. He’d never known he was gifted like Jebus in the walk on water department but that was unimportant. Not since he’d been tortured in hell had he been able to eat this many donuts.
And then blackness. No Springfield, no nothing. He had no clue where he was. Shadows permeated everything and although he could hear shrieks and occasional comments by his fellow Springfieldianites, he was in nowhere land. Utter nothingness and despair. He was sure there was something he was supposed to be doing. He even had the odd compulsion to suddenly eat a Pumpkin House but was off the grid, kicked out of the party, stuck in limbo even.
Homer wasn’t sure how long this lasted but one day he was in the void and the next he was walking the streets like normal. He was so excited, Carl had even told him he looked like he had an exclamation mark hovering over his head. Marge told him it had been close to 14 days. In his so-called “absence”, Springfield had been haunted over and over, gremlins had started cavorting in the streets and mysterious goo canisters had suddenly started popping up everywhere. Homer knew just what to do. Heck, he’d lived through so many Halloween fantasy sequences it was like reliving 72 segments of awesomeness.
Despite the overcast, Springfield started looking better and better. Homer cavorted with the townsfolk, found free donuts and even relived a couple moments as a donkishbroomcken. Eventually the weather changed and in no time, it was snowing despite the news bulletins about Global Warming. Homer enjoyed himself making snowmen and walking around in his Mr. Plow jacket. Winter was awesome but not without its own strangeness.
Homer could have sworn he started seeing glimpses of a giant yellow finger descending from the sky. He would have completely disregarded it and forgotten if he hadn’t been standing right next to Lenny and witnessed him get poked in the eye and then start moping for a solid 24 hours. What was going on? Those silly little elves from Lisa and Maggie’s show had sprung to life, an abominable snow mopper had started bumming around town and to add insult to injury, that frakkin Grumple had moved in right next door AND put up a balloon of himself to brag about it.
Christmas wasn’t supposed to be like this. It’s the season of giving, not collecting. Sure he enjoyed wrestling with his furry, green nemesis but getting stuck in chimneys and flying through the air as a benevolent Santa were always his preferred festive activities. It was like he had no choice in the matter and stupid Flanders had joined the Santa train. Stupid Adult Education Annex offering stupid classes to stupid mustached anybodys.
Homer tried to just meander about and not be bothered but every time he tried, he’d see a quick blur of giant yellow and then find himself off doing something different. Sure some of the “tasks” were fun, but it seemed like his family never got to spend quality time together any more. Bart was always off skateboarding or burning effigies. Marge always had a hair appointment or was protesting. Don’t even get him started on what the baby was up to. The only true holiday family bonding he did was hiding with Lisa as the townspeople carried on an 18 day long hunt for his family. What was odd was that during most of that period, all 5 of the Simpsons (6 if you counted his old man) were out in the open and it seemed like none of his friends or neighbors even noticed them.
Homer kept seeing that giant finger descend and cause mayhem and madness. He finally decided enough was enough. As soon as the weather warmed and the snow melted, he was gonna do something about it. There’s no better way to start a good plan than to take a quick nap in his hammock.
As he swings from the tree, Homer whimpers in his sleep. This dream won’t end. He’s running from the finger. It finally noticed him noticing it and wants to tap him. Homer doesn’t want to be tapped. All he wants is to catch that giant spinning donut right by the Aztec Theater. It seems like he’s stuck in slow motion though. The sky finger’s shadow is almost upon him and no matter how quick he pumps his legs, he doesn’t get any closer to the rotating pastry. He knows if he just reaches it, all will be well. Sure there’s a certain déjà vu to the whole scene. He can almost remember a glimmer of hugging said finger or running from a skeletal version but that’s just nonsense.
One step closer… almost there… run Homie run… Suddenly, the donut stops spinning… Homer’s dream ends and he’s stuck looking at a mysterious picture of little Wookiees… until it starts all over again… and again… and again… and again…
See? I’m perfectly sane without TSTO. I can stop any time I want and nothing random or silly will happen. Hope everyone’s Level 38 is going excellently. For once, I sincerely hope I’m alone with this problem. That’ll mean EA can help me that much quicker lol.
TTFN… Wookiee out!
All original art and content © Up All Night, LLC and TSTOAddicts.com
All Screen Shots of Game Graphics & Dialogue and Game Graphics from files ™ and © EA, Gracie Films and FOX