Real Housewives of Springfield: Agnes Skinner

Welcome Addicts to a new addition to our posts. In this little game of ours, we tend to forget those characters that are few and far between. We get so involved in the game, so into the latest events…that we sometimes forget to pay attention to the little things. The little details that make the Springfield world go around. The thing that seems to be really lacking/missing from Springfield.

What exactly is it I am going on about? What is so terribly important to the game that would draw such attention. WOMEN OF COURSE! To be a bit more specific, The Real Housewives of Springfield (and maybe a mistress or 3. Gotta have the drama aspect in any series, right?).

So keep your eyes on our blog as we take you on a new journey into the lives of each of the women currently and NOT currently available in the game.

“Don’t let your feelings get in the way of winning. They don’t give out medals for being a loving wife!” (Season 21, E12 Boy Meets Curl) Who’s the one resident of Springfield so brash, so cantankerous that everyone fears her? Even her own son! Why none other than Agnes Skinner…

Yes that’s right Tappers, this week we’re bringing RHOS back in a cranky sort of way and talking about the one, the only, Agnes Skinner. So sit back, adjust those tin foil hats and let’s take a ride down negative nelly lane shall we?

Today’s viewer knows Agnes as the cranky, cold-hearted mother of Seymour Skinner but did you know she wasn’t always this way? No, in fact one of the first instances where we actually meet Agnes (For longer than a quick flash on the screen), she’s actually a pleasant old lady. Yes that’s right my friends, in Season 1, E11, The Crapes of Wrath, we see a sweet, soft spoken and affectionate side of Agnes, heck she even offers up words of praise for Seymour!

Wait, what?! Are we talking about the SAME Agnes Skinner? The woman who admits openly that she doesn’t love her son? YES! Believe it or not in the beginning of the Crapes of Wrath Agnes is actually a sweet old lady. It’s actually revealed in the commentary section on the DVDs that it’s this episode and the incident of Bart dropping a cherry bomb in the toilet while she was using the girls room that led to her cranky behavior. Well I guess if my backside was suddenly hit with an eruption of water I’d be a little cranky too! (I wonder if this is what happened to other bitter people in our lives….perhaps they were just hit in the rump with a sudden water explosion?)

So the cherry bomb incident explains her cranky attitude towards the residents of Springfield, but what about her own son? Surely he had nothing to do with that incident, so why is she so bitter towards him? Well to find the answer out on that we have to flash forward 20 seasons to Season 21, E12 Boy Meets Curl. It’s in this episode that we learn the true reason for Agnes’ unloving attitude towards her son.

You see back in the 50’s Agnes had big plans and dreams. She was a pole vaulter and her dream was to compete…and win…during the Helsinki Olympics. Except someone had other plans for her. While having a short romance with Seymour’s father before shipping out to Korea, Agnes became pregnant with Seymour. She still insisted that she follow her dreams and made it to the Olympics to compete. However, on her jump Seymour decided to suddenly be active in the womb (when he had been still for the entire pregnancy up until that point) and kicked inside of Agnes just as she was going over the pole. Well his little kick caused her to hit the pole crushing her dream of medaling in those games.

It’s all starting to make sense now isn’t it? Agnes blames Seymour for causing her to miss out on her dreams so she spends his lifetime crushing his! Ah, the joys of being a mother! She even goes so far as to say to Seymour in that same Curling episode… “That’s love Seymour. Glad you got to see it once before you died.” Except we do see glimpses of the fact that Agnes actually does love Seymour every now and then. So she’s not as bitter as many of you might think…sorta.

During Season 9, E2 Principal and the Pauper we see Agnes show signs that she does love Seymour…well in this episode Armin Tamzarian, but THAT is for an entirely different show (you know Mad Men of Springfield 🙂 ). When he leaves town after the real Seymour Skinner comes back, Agnes professes how much she does care for him (even if he’s not her real son) because he takes care of her. He bends to her every beck and call…unlike her REAL son. That love and affection is shown when Agnes goes to Capital City and drags Seymour…er Armin…er Seymour now…back to Springfield where he belongs!

We see another flash of motherly love and affection from Agnes to Seymour in Season 21, E12 Boy Meets Curl. When Seymour breaks his curling broom during the Gold Medal match Agnes tells him it’s ok and she knows he tried his hardest. Wait. Is this the same woman who in the VERY same episode told him she’s glad he got to see what love looked like once before he died?! Talk about a flip flopper! Anywho… Agnes even tells Seymour that she’ll take him for pizza and ice cream after the match…and even let him sit at the SAME table as her! Woah, maybe that cold Canadian air warmed her cold bitter heart?

While Agnes has been with us in The Simpsons from Season 1 she arrives in TSTO relatively late, much to the delight of Seymour. Agnes arrives in our little games during Level 29 and comes with the Skinner House (what else?). She’s got several hilarious tasks, many of them outside so we can get a glimpse of the funny animation.

Let’s take a look at those very tasks now shall we?

Personally I’m a fan of the Go on a Date with Comic Book Guy task. It’s cute to see them walking around Springfield hand in hand. Although now with Kumiko in town I dunno how appropriate that is! (also wondering why CBG and Kumiko couldn’t have a similar task…)…and does her Sweep Up The Town task remind you of another Agnes episode??

Well that’s it. Agnes Skinner in a nutshell. While I know there are many more hilarious Agnes moments, including her marrying 3 tow truck drivers, getting “killed” just this season and many more….I think this pretty much sums her up quite well. A resentful old woman who’s more mad at herself for not following her dreams but takes it out on the rest of the world.

What’s YOUR favorite Agnes moment? What are some of your favorite tasks for her in TSTO? What do you make of her cranky behavior to Seymour and the rest of Springfield? Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!