Diary of a Wookiee: A Guinea Pig Ramble

Guinea pig, guinea pig, let me in…
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin….

Well I’m huffing and puffing but no matter what I do, those dang pigs won’t come out of their house.  Wookieetown was once bustling with these cute little fuzzballs but alas, I ate them all.  Lisa had me excited with her 8 hr task at the Rescue Center but I must admit I was disappointed that this task was only a one-time deal.  No matter how I tap on the building, I only hear those poor cute piggys squeal and nothing more.  I really liked this building animation and hope to see it return.  (hint hint EA)

I worry for the little guys.  Although they’re a pet than can be kind of stinky, they’re JUST. SO. FLUFFY!!!!  Not quite as cute as chinchillas or Ewoks but still really adorable.  Just look at these mugs….

Don’t they look delicious, I mean cute as buttons?  That guy on the bottom certainly knows he has to be prepared for poachers.

In Season 25, Episode 15: “The War of Art”, Lisa’s not so subtle hints that she wants a guinea pig for a pet are funny.  I kinda dig the emojis.  Her antics at the rescue center though really made me laugh.  I can totally see so many children acting just like this in a room full of guinea pigs.

Guinea pigs even featured in an animated Disney movie which I quite enjoyed.  Here’s the synopsis from IDMB.  A specially trained squad of guinea pigs is dispatched to stop a diabolical billionaire from taking over the world. I had to see it and Hurley was my favorite with his fuzzy white Mohawk.  Ok, I digress and I apologize for rambling about guinea pigs but rambling is what I do and guinea pigs are the topic of the day.

So, you may be like me and wonder about guinea pigs other than their potential deliciousness.  Well, obviously these little critters came from the most recent episode of The Simpsons but there’s so much more.

Did you know…

–       While they are related to a species of rodent in South America (the cavy), they actually don’t live in the wild and are a completely domesticated animal?

–       They are neither from Guinea or actually pigs?

–       They were first domesticated in 5000 B.C.?

–       They hail from South America and are an important part of folk culture, medicines AND delicious recipes?

–       Since the 1960s, there have been people trying to increase the consumption of the cute little darlings all over the globe?

–       Experimented on since the 17^th century, the piggys have assisted in medicine for juvenile diabetes, tuberculosis, human pregnancy complications (pre-eclampysia) and scurvy?

–       When they were brought to Europe they became popular pets and it is believed even Queen Elizabeth I had one as a pet?

–       The German’s call them Meerschweinchen, literally “sea piglet”?  Another older German word for them was merswin which means dolphin.

–       Guinea pigs can learn complex paths to food, and can accurately remember a learned path for months and are actually exceedingly good swimmers?

–       Those cute little hops they do are called “popcorning”?

–       The sounds they make are wheeks, bubbling or purring, rumbling, chutting and whining, chattering, squealing or shrieking, and chirping.

–       The “Trouble with Tribbles” episode of Star Trek was actually inspired by a 1905 short story by Ellis Parker Butler about breeding guinea pigs.

So much to know about silly, fluffy animals.  I for one bought this little guy, made him popcorn a couple times and then promptly lost him.  Currently, I have Freedom patrolling the skies looking out for his new playmate.  I’m sure nothing can go wrong, right?  I swear though, if that Falcon eats him before I can properly marinate him in Cheetos dust, I’ll be one berserk Wookiee.

Since the introduction of the guineas to our town, I’ve found a lot of people either love them or hate them.  I’ve seen a lot of funny images (including our very own Bunny).  Seems a lot of people want to hurt them.  Sad face, they’re too adorable to hurt.  I was much more in love with them when there were tons in my town though.  One last fact about the guinea pig is that they are actually very social animals.  For anyone who wants to keep one as a pet, experts actually recommend you get two so that they don’t get depressed.  Now I want the Yupprechaun and Pokey to become fast friends.  No one wants to be lonely.

Well, for all of you tappers, I hope you enjoyed the episode tie-in.  If you didn’t you can always show your revenge on Pokey by making some Guinea Pig Stew.  My good buddy Mikezilla over at TOuk shared this recipe if you’re so inclined.

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
8 guinea pigs trimmed of fat, deboned, and cut into 1/2-inch cubes
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup coarsely chopped onion
2-3 potatoes cut roughly into 1/2 inch cubes
1 cup coarsely chopped carrot
1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle dark beer
1/2 cup of beef stock
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 slices of bacon
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

Directions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).

Heat the vegetable oil in a large Dutch oven over medium-high heat until very hot, and brown the meat in 2 batches, stirring to brown the cubes on all sides.

Return all the meat to the Dutch oven, sprinkle with flour, and stir lightly to coat the meat with flour. Stir in onion, carrots, dark beer, stock, potatoes, bay leaves, thyme, 1 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon pepper, garlic, and Worcestershire sauce.

Bring the mixture to a boil, and cover.

Place the Dutch oven into the preheated oven, and cook for 45 minutes; uncover, stir the stew, and cook until the meat is very tender and the liquid is reduced by half, then partially cook bacon and add halfway through the cooking process about 45 more minutes.

If you’re not a big fan of eating cute, cuddly squeakers, you could always just make this with beef.  So what do you think?  Learn anything new?  Hungry? Gonna try the recipe?  Seen G-Force?  Y’all stay classy as usual.  TTFN… Wookiee out!