Heigh ho, heigh ho, on an origin post we go… at Addicts we say WDTCF, heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho heigh ho heigh ho!
Woo hoo! This is the post I’ve been waiting my whole TSTO blogging experience to do. Who doesn’t want to know more about Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Happy, Bashful, Dopey and Doc? I mean c’mon, they’re like the coolest little people that ever appeared in a faerie tale….
What was that Bunny? I’m not supposed to talk about a German fairy tale that was made famous by the Brothers Grimm and then even more famous by Walt Disney? You mean we got new decorations for Krustyland that have something to do with the 7 dwarfs but different? I have to put my love for Disney where? What do you mean Surly? I’ll show you surly you cotton-tailed, floppy-eared varmint….. errrr, people are reading this? Ummm… errrrr…. HELLO! Wookiee here and I guess I’m not writing about Snow White and instead supposed to be talking about seven of our new decorations in Krustyland that came with Level 39. Without further rambling, I guess let’s get started.
Oooooooohhhhhhh…. topiaries. Gotta love some greenery for our dilapidated TSTO theme parks, right? But what about the seven Duffs? I swear reader Phillip Starkes and I were just talking about these guys in the comments of my Krustyland post. Curiouser and curiouser. If the ESPN here at Addicts keeps on going, we might just have to subscribe to the channel lol.
So, these seven beer mascots are named Edgy, Remorseful, Dizzy, Tipsy, Surley, Queasy and Sleazy. You know, basically all the worst qualities of drunks. No one ever claimed that Duff was one of those “responsible” alcohol companies. Those are for the “real world” I suppose. Speaking of the real world, we’ll be talking about that a little later and no I’m not gonna ramble about MTV during the 90s.
Our seven Duffs first appeared in Season 4, Episode 13: “Selma’s Choice”. Bart and Lisa go to a Duff Gardens, a theme park that parodies Disneyland, with their Aunt Selma. Among all the little digs at the Happiest Place on Earth are the mascots for Duff Beer aka the “Duffs” although only four are shown. It is in this episode we learn Remorseful, Queasy, Tipsy and Surly’s names through some dialogue between the kids and Selma. The kids do mention there are seven of them though. It wasn’t until Season 11, Episode 16: “Pygmoelian” that we caught a view of Sleazy as we see him selling pink elephant balloons at the exit of the Duff Days Beer Festival. The only reason I’m familiar with all seven of their names is a fun little game called The Simpsons Hit & Run. All the Duffs appeared in Moe’s Tavern on a poster that rotated images of all of them.
The way I learned all the names the best though was this awesome t-shirt from stylinonline.com. According to the site, this costs less than 4 dollars US.
Of the seven, the most well known is of course Surly. Probably because he’s the only talking Duff and also because he’s appeared in the Simpsons a bunch more than the others. Here are some of his appearances:
– S14:E4, “Large Marge” – Seen among the group of chauvinists ogling Marge’s new melons.
– S16:E7, “Mommie Beerest” – Attending the Irish wake for the death of Moe’s Tavern.
– S21:E20, “To Surveil With Love” – Surly is seen in the opening sequence. If you haven’t seen this amazing sequence set to Keshas’s Tik Tok, I highly suggest it.
– S24:E14, “Gorgeous Grampa” – Dancing in the Homer Shake Intro
– S24:E22, “Dangers on a Train” – Marge accidentally joins a dating website trying to buy snack cakes for Homer. She gets hit on by every loser in town. And Springfield’s “got losers, like Mexico has headless corpses.” Among all the unhappy men, one Surly Duff. Just for fun, Kirk Van Houten, Mayor Quimby, Frink, Apu, Disco Stu, Rainier Wolfcastle, the Sea Captain, and Doctor Hibbert also sent invites. Marge has a lot of sleazy gentlemen to let down.
– S25:E3, “Four Regrettings and a Funeral” – at the funeral for Chip Davis. He’s seen with Mrs. Surly and his kids: Duff Jr., Duff Dry and Duff Lite.
Wow… lots of info about the Duffs, right? But why are they topiaries and not walking, staggering NPCs? Well, that’s where we have to go to the real world my friends. Our new decorations actually come from Springfield in Florida.
The 7 Duffs are topiaries in front of the real Duff Gardens. They even are posed like the decorations in our game.
And that sums up this WDTCF post. Not much else that can be said other than the nerd knowledge that the dwarves in Snow White were only given names by Walt Disney. Before that they were just nameless little miners that saved Snow from three death attempts by the evil queen. Y’all keep on tapa tapa tapping in the freeworld. TTFN… Wookiee out!
P.S. If you really want some Duff Love, you can find out which of the 7 Duffs you’re most like by taking this quiz. I ended up as Remorseful Duff… if I had to pick one, this makes sense.