Real Housewives of Springfield: Shary Bobbins

Welcome Addicts to a new addition to our posts. In this little game of ours, we tend to forget those characters that are few and far between. We get so involved in the game, so into the latest events…that we sometimes forget to pay attention to the little things. The little details that make the Springfield world go around. The thing that seems to be really lacking/missing from Springfield.

What exactly is it I am going on about? What is so terribly important to the game that would draw such attention. WOMEN OF COURSE! To be a bit more specific, The Real Housewives of Springfield (and maybe a mistress or 3. Gotta have the drama aspect in any series, right?).

So keep your eyes on our blog as we take you on a new journey into the lives of each of the women currently and NOT currently available in the game.

“If you wish to be our sitter, please be sweet and never bitter.  Help us with math and book reports, Might I add – eat my shorts!”
(Season 8, E13 Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D’oh-cious)

Who’s the newest resident to enter our little Springfields?  A nanny once filled with so much hope and joy, she even made Mr. Burns’ heart beat again!  Why it’s none other than Shary Bobbins!

Yes that’s right Tappers, this week we’re going a little Disney on you and discussing the newest character to enter our games…Shary Bobbins!  As I’m sure you already know Shary Bobbins is a spoof on one of my all-time favorite Disney movies…Mary Poppins.  Despite the humorous attempt at trying to say that it’s a original character…“like Rickey Rouse or Monald Muck”….she is in fact Mary Poppins Simpsonized.

Shary arrives in Springfield after the Simpsons decide it’s time to hire a nanny, so Marge won’t go bald.  After searching for the perfect nanny, and coming up short (or Homer mixing them up with Robin Williams and driving them away) each time…Lisa and Bart let their parents know, via song, just what they’re looking for in a Nanny:

“If you wish to be our sitter,
Please be sweet and never bitter.
Help us with math and book reports,
Might I add – eat my shorts!
…..
If Maggie’s fussy, don’t avoid her,
Let me get away with moider!
Teach us songs and magic tricks,
Might I add – no fat chicks! (of course Homer had to chime in!)
…..
The nanny we want is kindly and sage,
And one who will work for minimum way.
Hurry nanny, things are grim,
…..
(point to grampa)
Anyone but him.”

As if right on cue, oh who am I kidding?  Right on cue Shary Bobbins comes flying down from the clouds over Springfield, with her famous umbrella, and lands at the Simpsons front door.  The “practically perfect in every way” nanny is there to do everything from “changing diapers to telling stories”.  And after a “thorough” interview with Homer, Shary is hired!

Right away you can tell that the Simpsons are under her spell.  They’re singing, Bart’s cleaning his room (by cutting every corner!)…and Lisa’s helping!…, being kind to one and other, heck Homer even gave up drinking!  Heck she even inspired Mr. Burns to fly a kite to help make life’s problems just “float away”.  This of course leads to the kite getting struck by lightning (Ben Franklin style)…and causes Mr. Burns’s heart to beat once again!

Shary Bobbins has certainly worked her magic on the Simpsons….or has she? When all of her singing is done, and it seems as though the Simpsons themselves have become “practically perfect”, Shary declares her work with the Simpsons complete!

Ah who are we kidding?  It IS the Simpsons!  She’s not gone 2 minutes and they’ve already gone back to their old ways.  Homer is choking Bart, Lisa is banging pots around the house, Maggie is putting out fires & Marge is in the fetal position shaking with her hair falling out.

So naturally this kind spirited nanny declares that she will go unpack her things and stay! Only this time it’s different.  This isn’t the same Simpson family Shary helped the first time.  This time….they’re the REAL Simpsons.  Rude and demanding!  They have in fact done the impossible.  They’ve crushed Shary’s spirit, driving her to drink (with Barney no less!).

When she realizes she cannot help them and her time there has been a complete and total waste, after all she’s taught them nothing, she concludes they’re a bunch of apes and it’s time to leave!  This of course is concluded after another song:

“Around the house, I never lift a finger,
As a husband and a father, I’m sub-par.
I’d rather drink a beer
Than win father of the year,
I’m happy with things the way they are.

I’m getting used to never getting noticed
I’m stuck here till I can steal a car.
The house is still a mess,
And I’m going bald from stress,
But we’re happy, just the way we are.
……
Don’t think it’s sour grapes,
But you’re all a bunch of apes,
And so I must be leaving you!”

So up she goes with her umbrella and flies away from Springfield (and hopefully to forget about the Simpsons!) but as she’s flying away she gets sucked up to her death into the engine of a plane!  And that’s the last we see of the REAL Shary Bobbins!

While Shary only appeared in one episode of the Simpsons before flying to her death…she joins us in TSTO via the Easter 2014 update as the “top level” prize won from the Gold Easter Box.  Despite a short history with the Simpsons Shary does come with a fun questline as well as a full set of tasks! 

Let’s take a look at those very tasks now shall we?

Well that’s it my friends…Shary Bobbins in a nutshell.  A once joyful, kind-hearted nanny turned cold and bitter by her time spent with the Simpsons.  Her questline is called A Spoonful of Bitter….afterall.  Personally, I choose to remember her in the “Disney way”…as the singing & dancing nanny…you know before Homer drove her to drink!

Have YOU won Shary yet?  Is she a prize you’re really looking forward to getting?  Or do you have your eyes on another character?  What’s YOUR favorite Shary Bobbins moment from The Simpsons?  Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!