Tapped Out Premium Walkthroughs: George “he can too tell a lie” Washington

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Here we are on the final full day of the 4th of July Event & I think many of you are ready for it to be over!  As the event comes to a close we thought now would be a fun time to take a look back at the dialogue  you may have missed from the event while tapping.

So here we are, back with another 4th of July Event Walkthrough!  This time we’re going to look at the Premium Quest that unlocks when you purchase George Washington & his Cherry tree.  We’ve already brought you the Turbo Tappin’ version of this walkthrough and now it’s time for the full dialogue walkthrough!  This is great for those Tappers that might have missed something in playing, or players who simply didn’t make the donut plunge on Ol’ Georgie.

So enough from me, let’s get on with the show….

George Washington cut cherry tree yeoldecherrytree_menu

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 1
George Washington starts

George: “Previous to the execution of any official act of the President –” WHAT THE?  WHERE DID PHILADELPHIA GO?  WHAT LAND IS THIS AND WHY IS “QUICKY MART” SPELLED SO ATROCIOUSLY?
Lisa: Mr. Washington, you’ve been brought forward in time to the town of Springfield, in America.  It seems to happen to ex-Presidents a lot.
Geroge: Forward in time?  How old is America?
Lisa: Two hundred and forty-two years.
George: You’re kidding me, right?  That’s a joke?  Because I told Jefferson I gave this country a decade.  Tops.  He was all: “Liberty is mankind’s natural state!” And I was “Yada yada yada…ten years, chump.  Bank on it.”  Sill, it’s cool to be wrong!  So tell me about this town.
Lisa: Springfield is name after its founder, Jebediah Springfield.  You would’ve known him as ‘Hans Sprungfeld’ in your time.
George: SPRUNGFELD?!  THAT GUY HAS A TOWN NAMED AFTER HIM?  Oh, man.  Where is he?  He’s going to be picking wooden teeth out of his neck for a month.
Make George Washington Hunt for Jebediah Springfield– 24hrs, Earns $1000, 225xp
George: Okay, so Sprungfeld is dead.  Everyone I know is dead.  I get it.  So now what?
Lisa: Professor Frink is trying to find a way to send you home.  In the meantime…You might find you like it here.  Our previous ex-President seems very happy.
Lincoln: You want to keep it down, please?  I can barely hear myself split rails here, people.
George: Sheesh.  That guy was President?!
Lisa: Number sixteen.
George: He’s so gangly-looking.  Doesn’t really scream “President”, you know?  I guess people will elect anything.

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 2
George Washington starts

George: You know why America has a bicameral legislature, right?
Lisa: Uh… because it’s a good way to keep power from consolidating in one body?
George: Nope.  Because when we were tossing around ideas for a new government — just brain jamming, you know — some idiot throws out the term “bicameral legislature.”  And everybody just latches onto it.  You know that thing where everyone’s trying to sound hop and smart by using the hot new term?  So annoying!  Every time I heard the words, I couldn’t decide whether to fall asleep or kill myself.  Just totally nuts.  I voted for the thing just to shut everyone up.
Lisa: This is incredible!  Our scholars need to know this stuff.  You’ve got to commit your memories to paper.
George: Seriously, if I told you all the dirt I’ve got on John Adams, you’d flip your powdered wig.  Dude was MESSED UP.
Make Washington Write a Tell-All– 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 3
Lisa starts

Lisa: I hope you’re not finding modern-day America too strange Mr. Washington. George: Nah.  It’ll always be America, so long as people continue to live free, toss their excrement in the streets, and hate the British.
Lisa: Actually England is our closest ally now.
George: …..
You want to repeat that, little lady?
Lisa: Uh… we’ve had a lot of time to repair relations…
George: “Repair relations”? With a country that is way more powerful than us?  AND wants nothing more than to make us her colony again?
Lisa: Well, first of all, our military is a lot bigger than theirs now.
George: Then we should attack immediately, before they have time to raise conscripts!  Unless, of course, you’d prefer to see musky-carrying redcoats on every street corner in the nation.  Summon my war council!
Make Washington Plan an Invasion on Britain– 8hrs, $420, 105xp 

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 4
George Washington starts

George: Okay, if our ships leave Boston tomorrow, we can reach England in two months.  We’ll rendezvous with Hessian mercenaries — little girl, remind me to write a letter to Hessia, get that ball rolling.
Lisa: Hessian mercenaries aren’t the military force they once were…
George: We will then move inland and seize the royal saltpeter mines.  I’d like to see King George try to fight a war without saltpeter.  Heh-heh-heh….With a combined forces of 20,000 we will easily subdue all of England.  What do you think, Lisa Simpson?  An elegant plan, no?
Lisa: You really think 20,000 men armed with muskets will do any good against tanks and machine guns and missiles?
George: If we have enough horses, yes.  I also plan on doubling gin rations, to boost morale.  A drunk army is an effective army.  All we need now is the men!
Make Washington Recruit an Army– 24hrs, Earns $1000, 225xp

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 5
George Washington starts

George: Okay, I’ve been traveling door-to-door all day, and so far I’ve got ZERO recruits for my Grand Army of the Brit-Hating Republic. What’s happened to the England-detesting nation of proud Limey-stranglers I love?  Where’s our fighting spirit?
Lisa: Serioulsy.  The English are our friends.  Very nice people.  Good music.
George: And the most annoying thing?  Everyone’s just falling all over themselves to thank me: “You’re the Father of Our Country!”  “Thank You, George Washington!”  If you love me so much, get in the boat and help me stick a cannon ball in Big Ben.
Wiggum: George Washington!  Thank you for everything, sir.  Thank you for your wisdom, and your strength, and for being everything, a man can be.   I mean EVERYTHING!
George: Uh-huh.  Look, that’s very nice, but I’m just a guy.  Happy to be of service.  No need to go crazy, pal.
Make George Washington Reject Praise– 6hrs, Earns $350, 90xp

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 6
George Washington starts

Comic Book Guy: George Washington!  It’s really him!  The greatest real-life superhero of all!
Apu: Thanks for being the best Founding Father a country could ask for!  We love you!
George: Fine.  That’s very fine.  Thank you.  Go away.
Lisa: They’re just trying to show their appreciation, sir.
George: But they act like I’m some sort of saint.  It’s seriously creepy.  Did you know there are guys on the Supreme Court who think laws should be based on what me and my friends were thinking about more than two centuries ago?  We didn’t have electricity.  And trust me– most of the time when we were writing constitutions and laws, we were thinking about what to order for dinner.  I’m just a guy.  And I’m really happy that America worked out so well.  That rocks.  But again, just a guy.
Skinner: Excuse me, Mr. Washington.  I’m like your biggest fan ever, and —
George: I owned slaves.  Did you know that?  It stinks, but it’s true.  So please leave me alone.
Skinner: Well, you must have had a very good reason.
George: THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR OWNING SLAVES!  Augh!  You people are beyond weird!
Make Washington Flee Admirers– 16hrs, Earns $750, 200xp

Declaration of Co-Dependence Pt. 7
George Washington starts

George: Okay, still think I’m perfect?  Watch this.  I’ll prove I’m no saint.  I’m going to cut down this cherry tree.  Then, when you ask me if I cut it down, I AM GOING TO LIE ABOUT IT.  There!  Still think I’m all that?
Skinner: But, sir, everyone KNOWS George Washington can’t tell a lie.
George: WHAT GROWN MAN IS INCAPABLE OF LYING?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!  HERE, WATCH!
Make Washington Cut Down a Cherry Tree– 12hrs, Earns $600, 150xp 

What did YOU think of George Washington’s questline?  Did you purchase him in your Springfield?  What did you think about him being added to the game?  Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!

29 responses to “Tapped Out Premium Walkthroughs: George “he can too tell a lie” Washington

  1. Ryan Wilson Sonicboiny834

    Thank you so much for these dialog posts. I was telling a friend the other night how funny this quest line dialogue was and it’s great to be able to revisit it. Without TSTO Addicts this game wouldn’t be nearly as much fun. Thank Jeebuz for you!

  2. marlboromanmat

    Nooo! I’m gutted! I nearly had enough donuts to buy Rex Banner and the diner, but its gone! I was really looking forward to that for a long time too.
    Is there any way you folks (because you’re “closer” to EA than us mortals) can suggest to them to bring him (and the diner) back again? (If only for a short time).
    This would mean a lot to some of us.
    Thanks
    Kind regards,
    Mat.

    • They JUST brought him back. I doubt if EA wants to it will be anytime soon. Sorry. That is why we give our readers close out dates and reminders to get them BEFORE it ends.

  3. I wanted cherry tree but didn’t have enough donuts. 🙁

  4. I just wish that when questlines are over that there would be an indication. Like after the last task finishes, there’s no closing dialogue. I kept expecting something more to happen after he tried to chop down the cherry tree.

  5. I think the cherry tree is a nice addition my town, George Washington has a great questline with funny dialogue. I’m happy with this character.

  6. Off topic question (too bad this isn’t a tumblr blog or I could throw this in or ask box):

    has anyone else out there has issues connecting to the TSTO server the first time you try? For the past week I’ve gotten the Bart screen every time I start the app to play the game, hit retry, then I’m good. Not the usual behavior from this game…

  7. i do plan on buying him! Question for Bunny, Should i drop her B game since EA will be giving her a new one?

  8. George Washington was the first premium character I bought for the game, I’m a history buff so I just had to have him in my Springfield. I thought his questline was pretty funny and I got the cherry tree in my town square next to my lemon tree and Jebediah Springfield statue.

  9. To be honest, I just wanted the cherry tree, it looks cool near the Lemon Tree 🙂

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