New Tunnel – The Great Monorail Fix Is In…Mostly


I hesitate to say anything negative about “this wonderful game of ours” for fear of bringing out the “Love It or Leave It” crowd that was a tad bit vocal about my return as  contributor here.  Interestingly enough, I have received a number of emails coaxing me to “stop being so nice” and let my “Cranky” side fly, as they find it more entertaining, and honest.

However…this is Alissa’s place. And Alissa is nice. Very nice. But, admittedly even she wants me to be honest and pragmatic (within the confines of also being nice). Which brings us to the paradox at hand.

First of all, let me state unequivocally, “I love the monorail.”  It is in my less-than-humble-opinion, the best addition to the game, ever.  There are lovers and haters of the monorail. I am a lover, and really don’t understand the haters. But, that is the way it is in the world with most things. I am not a fan of chocolate ice cream. I don’t hate it, but it is waaaaaaaay down on my list of favorite flavors. So, when someone says “I love chocolate ice cream” I mostly just smile, while I order my cone of “Apple Pie Caramel Crunch.”  No harm. No foul.

However, I am pretty sure that both camps would agree, that if you ordered an ice cream cone, and the server placed the scoops just off to the side of the cone, barely out of reach of your ability to reach it with your tongue, and you just couldn’t get to the satisfaction that is so close you can almost taste it…but can’t…that you’d be pretty torqued off. It might become so frustrating, that you just say, “Forget this!! It’s too much trouble! I’ll just have a cookie! Who needs ice cream?”

And so it is with the monorail and the addition of the tunnels to the game which almost…but not quite…allow us to connect our monorails in Springfield proper and Springfield Heights easily.

Take a look…you’ll see what I mean. You might want to grab a couple of cookies and your favorite beverage…it is going to require you to have something sweet at the ready, as I may go a tad “un-sweet” in my description.

Let’s begin with the fact that most of us who love the monorail, spent countless hours creating monorail loops in both our main Springfield and Springfield Heights, because we could. We had the spare stations. We had loads and loads of spare track (don’t forget that for months now, there have been weekly Bonut Rewards for finishing the weekly track challenges). And for about as long as the monorail has existed, those of us in the “Love the Monorail” (LTM) and even some in the “I Think the Monorail is Fine, but it Isn’t My Whole Life” camp (TMFIMWL), have wanted a way to connect the two towns together, through the mountain barrier that separates them.

So, when July 26th, 2016 brought us the “Dilapidated Rail Yard” mini-update…we in both camps were THRILLED, even if the “I Hate the Monorail” (IHM) were just annoyed that so much attention was once again being placed on something they don’t care for.  We got two wonderful things on that day… a TUNNEL…and a greatly reduced level of tapping required to get the tunnel (weekly requirements to max out and collect the reward being near 70K points and now being just 25K points).

There was rejoicing in the streets of both Springfields, with shouts of “We Shall Finally Be Unified!!” echoing across the mountain passes!

But then…rEAlity set it. Yes. Again, I emphasize the EA in rEAlity to make a point.

First…as there are no cross tracks, switch tracks, or other connecting tracks that allow you to have two directions connect in a “Y” to return to the tunnel, it became very clear that you were going to need TWO tunnels to pull off a completely closed, one-way loop.

Now this is where there are two very distinct camps within the original camps (starting to feel a bit like politics and religion?) come into play.

Some of us “Monorail Loop Purists” (MLP), many of whom have come from the world of model railroading, feel that the best layouts are those that allow a train to run in a long, interesting, connected loop…the same direction. And so, we built at least two of these loops, one in our regular Springfield and one in our Springfield Heights.

Others, from the “Monorail Bi-Directional Purists” camp (MBDP) feel that as the monorail was in fact designed with two engines, one on either end, it is SUPPOSED to travel from one station to the last station (with perhaps many stations in between), and then change direction, and head back to the original station on the same track.

The arguments for both are sustainable and salient. It is the kind of thing that is much like our ice cream cone analogy, when deciding between chocolate and other flavors. We all agree we like ice cream, we just agree to disagree on the flavor or mode of delivery (I understand that some chocolate lovers will eat their cones out of a bowl!)

But when it comes to the monorail, and the tunnel…every flavor of monorail enthusiasts in the entire spectrum of LTM, TMFIMWL, MLP, MBDP, and even the IHMers, would agree on one thing; “EA is SCREWING WITH US!”

Why? Because there is no simple, EAsy way to connect two existing tracks…even if they appear to line up perfectly.  As has been noted by several frustrated tappers (no double entendres please) in the past, even the most simple coupling is about a half of a short track too short or long. Coupling is thwarted! Close…but no cigar! It is Monorailus-Interuptus at its worst!!!!!


Take a look at my own attempts to couple. (and get your mind out of the gutter).

It started when I tried to connect my existing SH loop and my regular town. Nope. 1/2 track short.

I decided to wait until I got the 2nd tunnel…SURELY there would be a solution with a 2nd tunnel!!

Nope. Two tunnels only exacerbated the coupling aspects. (again…please look up the word, and don’t get excited).

There is no EAsy solution. It is too short, or too long…never just right. And that is just for ONE of the tunnels.  After getting my second tunnel, I tried to figure out if the same thing would happen if I placed it in another location along the mountains. It did.

Surely, I thought, EA wouldn’t make things so difficult as to make the 2nd tunnel behave in the same manner…

But, I was wrong. 

No matter which way I tried to connect EITHER side of my existing…EXTENSIVE monorail layouts…they would not couple. 

This is even further exacerbated by the fact that there are limited number of locations EA allows you to place the tunnels along the mountains. I did figure out that once you placed the two tunnels near one another, you could EAsily couple them to one another…a bit of self-coupling as it were (again….get your minds out of the gutter!).


But…that left me, and everyone else in the very real situation that there is NO WORKABLE SOLUTION or combination of existing track pieces that will allow you to make most existing monorail layouts hook up EAsily to the tunnels that EA provides.

This means that some serious reconstruction, and perhaps minor “Nuking” (using the green highlighter, rather than the nuke button) will need to take place in order to accomplish my final dream of a working, full-loop between my two Springfield halves.

I have…at last count…more than 850 pieces of monorail track on my layout. I may have to move them all. Every. Single Piece. With extensive changes to the perimeter of my town’s layout.

And for that…I have  a message for you EA.


This whole mess is the result of one of two things…

EA is either just screwing with us…

Or like so many other things in the game, THEY DIDN’T TAKE THE TIME TO TEST before they released.  It is one more example of EA Lazyass Programming (EALP).

I am going to make this work. It is going to take a ton of redesigning and manipulation. It is going to take hours, and hours, and hours, just because they were too lazy, or too cruel to do it right.

IF ANY OF YOU CAN SEE ANOTHER SOLUTION…PLEASE SHARE IT. But…for now…I am an Unhappy Monorailist with a Coupling Issue. (UMCI).



249 responses to “New Tunnel – The Great Monorail Fix Is In…Mostly

  1. I can’t even find the place to get the dog gone monorail tunnels. Can someone help me find them?!?

  2. I’ve started to play in January of this year in the middle of the heretic event, and so far I have the Central, Tetanus and Mall-o-rail stations, and 1 (one) tunnel.

    Reading this makes me laugh (in a solidary way) because I found it very fun to replace the entire track every single week. Including dealing with the fact that I had to opt for having no loop. Good to know that next week I’ll get a second tunnel.

    I’m not sure if there is a way to visit my Springfield to see how I had to start building the track from the Heights tunnel. I’ll take some screenshots maybe.

  3. what the right way to put station together?

    • There is no “right way” as long as the tracks meet up with your layout. There are loads of ways to add the stairs etc. none of them “wrong.” Be creative!

  4. Well I had the same problem that some of you had, my tracks were not lining up, they were just one half piece off. I adjusted my station in SH one square in the direction I needed and rebuilt the railroad from there to connect with both tunnels. It worked out.

  5. All EA needs to do is give us TWO one square pieces (maybe even one?). C’mon EA. This should be EAsy.

  6. LMBO – Thank you Patric, I don’t know how I missed this post. I guess because I am just now trying to connect my rail to Springfield Heights. I searched the site to check and make sure my calculations were correct: I have to move each piece of the rails ‘one square’ in order for the whole system to connect. I’m so glad to read your post because I now have a sense of humor about it. 😀

  7. Sooooo…..No sign of a new tunnel. Does it come automatically?

  8. I just moved a heap of stuff just to move/build rails towards the tunnel, including moving my Mall-o-rail into SH! I will not be moving everything to line up the rails when a simple fix to move the tunnel along 1 click would suffice! An hour and a half wasted for nothing!

  9. I had to move my entire monorail setup in order to make all of it connect, but it’s done now and looks great!

    Question: Do the rest of you experience a severe shortage of full length straight track pieces? I mean how many curves do I need!? I’m currently storing 103 curves and 0 full length straight pieces.

  10. No fix for me. I gave upon trying to connect with their broken tunnels.

  11. I am Monorail lover but I have so many track pieces already I have three separate rails running throughout my town I still have tracks left in inventory I stopped doing the weekly tasks. I now would like to know how do I get a second tunnel without having to do the weekly tasks. So again I ask how can I acquire the second tunnel?

  12. My track are all jam up now. Will this problem be solved?

  13. Sebastian Cobb is undoubtably disappointed with the lack of coupling options!

  14. I was also a half a small track away in my town. I had to relocate the entire track (probably 500 pieces) one half tiny rail to the right, one half up to mate up with the two tunnels which are inconviently located in only a few pre- allowed positions of the mountain range. After about 200 home, shrub, tree, building relocations and about a week of tinkering, all is well. One long continuous track, one tram which carries no one, to no where special. Now what to do with an additional 200 pieces of track. Maybe a third layout in the future northward or major expansion southward or eastward? How about underwater?

    • I have three tracks running. I have made two- and three-way switches with a straight and one/two S-curve(s). You operate them by tap and hold one of them and drag to the other track(s). Even a Y-switch is possible with two S-curves. The operation is difficult at first, but practice makes perfect.

  15. How can I get the second tunnel?

  16. So, I was finally able to earn my second tunnel. Since I don’t care too much about the monorail they went straight into storage. But not before using the second tunnel storage glitch.
    I’ve opened up all the land east of the road tunnel to where SH and Springfield have their last piece of adjoining land. It’s beautiful, I love it. However, I’m concerned. I haven’t placed any items on this newly “acquired” land. I’m skeptical as to what may happen to the items I place if EA fixes this glorious glitch.

  17. I’m 3 train tracks away from a perfectly formed loop joining S.Hights and Springfield, and I had no problem moving things around to join them.

  18. So far I haven’t been offered the 2nd tunnel!

    After getting the 1st tunnel I’ve only had donuts & track pieces as the final “prize” each week (currently it’s been 20 donuts x 3 or 4 weeks)

    Have other Australian players had the 2nd tunnel yet?

    Regards to all from down under,
    Cheeky Jayne

  19. I’ve not read all the comments, but I really didn’t have any issues making it work. The S-Bend pieces are handy for offsetting your line by a singular piece on the map. The rest works itself out.

    • Sorry…but for at least 25% of players…there is NO combination of track that will allow them to make the connection without moving their existing layouts. Period.

      • Hmm, well that IS a bummer. I didn’t actually connect the monorail to SH (or lay track there) until I had both tunnel pieces, so that probably helped.
        I had the “one square short” issue when I first laid out all the stations during the initial event, but I’m sure I was able to fix it by adding in an unnecessary “wobbly” section with S bends to fill the missing gap, and then just flow that through the rest of the line.

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