When Grinding Gets You Down…Turn Up the VOLUME!

I’m the first one to admit that these long updates, with flurries of content, followed by extended periods of grinding, can get you down.  And then, when there is actually an item for which you have been grinding, turns out to be less than you had hoped (the covered bridge), you can rEAlly get torqued off, and lose more than a little faith in the programming department at EA to give you any sense of Return On Tapping (ROT).

But, just when I was at my lowest ebb, after getting just such an EArned prize (the covered bridge), I discovered a method of playing, and an alternate pleasure source that could bring me joy once again.

It starts by Turning Down…then Turning Up…and getting off!

Follow along…

Ok. First…all of you who thought this was going to be another post full of sexual innuendo, or ladened with 1960s drug culture, forget it. Not gonna happen. (I’ve been warned).

This is about “Getting Off” on the wonders of sound. The kind of sounds that EA programmers have bundled into this update (and others) in a way to make the game more fun, and rEAlistic.  But, to enjoy the sounds of TSTO to the fullest, you have to start by Turning DOWN the Music.

Go to your control panel (found by clicking the gear box on the top right of the “Store” Nav) and dragging the “Music Volume” down to nothing. Then Turn the SFX Volume up ALL OF THE WAY.  This effect is made even cooler (and more effective) if you pump your sound through headphones, or a bluetooth speaker setup.  If you have your sound blasting through a bluetooth speaker, hooked up to a 100 watt stereo amplifier, so much the better! Your significant other, children and or pets will love it. REALLY!!

The Sound Effects that come with a great number of the items we have won, are as good, and in some cases better, than the actual prize. But even the most basic, is far from basic.

We all know that that sound of the Monsters as they are being fought, is terrifying and LOUD.  My wife hates it when they jump from my bluetooth speakers unexpectedly (which they do with alarming frequency). But the BONUS on this one, is the sounds that come along with the characters doing battle.  My favorites are the “Sound of Blessed Heaven” that comes from Rev. Lovejoy’s crucifix as it lights up, and the clinking of crossed swords that come from CBG.  Subtle…but had to be programmed. So, it makes them special.

I have all four of my “Pyres” behind the Medieval Rich House (which makes a sound when tapped). but the flames actually make a wonderful sound of a full blown conflagration, that goes along great with the “Bat Swarm” that circles my
“Dark Carriage,” which I have next to my swamp, Vampire Casket(s), and Spooky Brambles.

The Dark Carriage has a very believable whip sound, (50 shades anyone?) along with the stamping hooves and whinnying horse of the distressed equine servant.

The Vampire Caskets have a nice surprise when tapped…along with a very “Nostradamus-Like” screechy wail when the dark overlords are awakened.

And when tapped, the Spooky Brambles emit a great “wraith” sound along with a wraith. CREEPY!

You want to rEAlly freak yourself out? HIT ALL OF THE THEM AT THE SAME TIME!! Soooooooo Creeepy (and may get a neighbor to call 911).

While all of the good action at the Shinnin Hotel is subtle (the shadows in the window when Willie is doing his “axe in the back” thing there), you will get one or the other of a GREAT Scream from Homer or Marge.  Both are convincingly horrific!

The Large Mausoleum is Creepy and LOUD! The Burns Family Crypt…another wraithish blast! The Catacombs…a combo of bats and bones! All far better than the Covered Bridge…which is silent…and just sits there taunting us.

Let downs? (besides the damnable covered bridge that can’t be used a s bridge, and makes no sound whatsoever). would have to be the HUGE Burns Castle…which is huge in every way, except for the sound that comes from it, when tapped…a very underwhelming knock and squeak. Meh.

Oh…and the bell tower…which emits a single “Bong” when it could have played something Bellularly Creepy (Tubular Bellish?).

There are loads of others, including burbling pots, wind-blown trees, and tons of others that all illicit elicit (some sounds are illicit…but not the trees)  the proper Halloween vibe.  If all else fails, when you are really bummed about something that you have worked forever to get, and is a let down (like say, the covered bridge), then you can always tap either the Old Jewish Man (YOU smell like cobbler!) or the hilariously strange insane laugh that emulates from the Calmwood Mental Institution…which reminds you that you’d have to be CRAZY to like the crappy covered bridge!

Tell us what YOU love to LISTEN to in this update!  We LOVE to hear what you think, even if it is yet another post about the crappy covered bridge, which was the height of EALP (EA Lazy Programming).  A bridge that can’t be placed on a road, across water, or anywhere near the two isn’t a bridge. It is a weird, long, building, with a warning sign that should have read, “WARNING: This Prize Is Going To Torque You OFF!”

SOUND OFF ADDICTS! (Except to listen to the great sounds of this update! For that turn the sound UP!).