When I asked Alissa about doing another edition of “You Might Be an Addict If…” I was surprised to hear that it has been a while since one has appeared. The fact is, the game has changed a LOT since 2014, and some of the reasons we tap, as well as some of the tell-tale signs that we are truly addicted, may have changed as well.
It is one of those topics that actually appeared in the book that I wrote with good friend and fellow tapper, Ryan Kagy, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in December of 2013, when we were only at level 37, and the final chapter on updates was Thanksgiving 2013″ Man. That seems like it was years ago!!! Oh. Wait. Because it was.
The fact that I am still tapping, and blogging after all of this time (I started in October 2012), is testament to one of two things; my love of the game, or my complete addiction to it.
The following examples start with one of Ryan’s “You May Have a Tapped Out Problem If…” (we were concerned about copyright issues with Addicts), and continues with an updated version of my own, on the same topic.
You Might Have a “Tapped Out” Problem If…
By Ryan Kagy- reprinted from the book, “The Simpsons Tapped Out – Tales, Tips and Trivia”
- You think of time as existing in blocks of 4, 8 and 12 hours and when someone reminds you there are 24 hours in a day you laugh and say that’s an inferior rate of return.
- You think of your day as consisting of indoor tasks and outdoor animations.
- You can’t stop at just one…DMV limo.
- You have push alerts turned on for the game.
- You find yourself hiding iTunes gift cards around the house.
- You cut your finger and your first thought is, “How will I stop those pesky gremlins?” …Then you stop the bleeding.
- You have neighboreenos you visit more frequently than your real life friends.
- You have an “aha moment” walking through the town where you live when you realize most prisons have two layers of barbed wire fence (this is also a sign you should probably move).
- You see a picnic table in a local park and exclaim, “But they haven’t come out with those yet!”
- You try to pay for donuts by taking out a small business loan, justifying it by saying that “Lugash’s Gym” is a small business.
- You try to write off your purchase of the Springfield Museum of Natural History as a charitable donation on your taxes.
- You read more stories on “Tapped Out” blogs than national news articles.
- You can name more “toughies” than U.S. Senators.
Here is my UPDATED Version of “You Might Be a TSTO Addict If…” for 2016
You Might Be A TSTO Addict If…
- You voted for Trump because you understood the cultural importance of being able to scream, “AHA!!!! THE SIMPSONS PREDICTED THIS!!!”
- You wrote in “Lisa Simpson for President,” because she looks better in a pantsuit than Hillary.
- You were so concerned about “getting everything” during the Halloween 2016 Event, that you took your padular device with you into the voting booth on election day, and were embarrassed when you hit the wrong icon, and the “Old Jewish Man” screamed, “YOU SMELL LIKE COBBLER!“
- You go to the local “Dunkin’ Donuts” shop to use the “Free Wifi” and end up spending more money on virtual donuts than real donuts.
- You realize that you are just a little bit surprised when you see cars and trucks located on the streets of your town, and actually MOVING!
- You make a FaceBook post about the “Good Old Days” when the worst thing a kid ever did in your hometown was graffiti “El Barto” on Moe’s Bar.
- You find yourself getting REALLY MAD at EA for making it so hard to find and tap the turkey’s, snakes, and rabbits in your town, because you keep getting them confused with the NPCs you won from previous Thanksgiving, Easter and Whacking Day updates, that don’t earn you pelts!!
- You actually decide to upgrade your padular device, at a cost of several hundred dollars, because the “Freemium Game” you play on said device is getting jerky and unreliable on your current device.
- You spend waaaaaaaaaaaaay more time designing and decorating your virtual town, than you do cleaning your own kitchen or doing yard work in your own yard.
- You find yourself setting your social calendar around the TSTO Event Calendars, and are perturbed when your friends can’t understand that an Event is Three Acts of two weeks each, so meeting on the “third Wednesday of the Month” just doesn’t work for you, because that’s when most of the Major Events start and end.
- The word “Grinding” has taken on a completely new meaning for you.
- You have segmented your day into 4-hour increments, because it maximizes your return during major updates. And, when they change the cycle to 3 hours during the current Thanksgiving Mini-Event, you rationalize that you “get to tap more often, now,” and find yourself excited that you get to change the countdown timer on your phone from 4 to 3 hours, because you can change the ringtone alert from “xylophone” to something more festive.
- You find yourself getting frustrated and weary of the repetitive nature of “week two of every act in an event,” because it’s so repetitive and redundant, and relentless, and you say this while you log on for the 5th time that day…for the 5th time that week.
- You convince your significant other that the blue wig that came with the Marge Simpson costume for Halloween, adds a bit of fun to “special time” the rest of the year.
- Your “significant other” has stopped looking up when hearing the sound of Maggie’s pacifier coming from your direction.
SHARE YOUR SUGGESTIONS for “You Might Be a TSTO Addict If…” in the comments below. We LOVE to hear from you…and this is a “safe place” where you can share. The donuts and coffee are on the table…you can just use your first name if it makes you feel better.