I hate to admit that I am one of those people who dreads Mondays. It isn’t just because I love weekends so much (as I often work through most of a weekend). It is that so much seems to happen over the weekend, that I can barely keep up. It is then complicated by the fact that most of my broadcast clients are HORRIBLE procrastinators, and load me up with stuff they need “ASAP!!!!!” that they “forgot to do last week.”
I have a sign on my door that says, “Your Procrastination Is Not My Emergency.” But, of course, radio people can’t see my sign…because they are mostly NOT huge on “Social Media,” “the Inter-webs” or “the Google.” But I digress…
The fact is, this weekend was jammed with seemingly unrelated events that all conspired to almost make sense as a single topic.
Almost.
Let’s see how this thread pulls itself together.
As many of you who were able to watch the latest chapter of “Addicts Live” can attest, my wife (aka she who puts up with he), made a surprise appearance in the middle of the “broadcast.” It was hilarious. It was also validation that even me, a CrankyOldGuy can actually start, build and maintain a relationship with a smart, beautiful, blonde who could certainly do much better if she tried very hard (and may be reading this at some point).
But, the ironic thread to this, was that I was talking to Alissa just before “air time” and how I was afraid to share some of the recent game dialogue with her, as Deb (aka Mrs. Miller) is a school teacher in a public school…and most of the dialogue was “less than complimentary” about public schools.
I had a whole defense in my mind about how they were actually making fun of Charter/Military Academies, and was going to deflect it all by using the diversionary tactic of reminding her that Tom Cruise (one of her “free pass” list fantasy listers) actually got his start playing a kid who went nuts in a military academy in the movie, “Taps” which also launched the careers of Tim Hutton and Sean Penn, and made George C Scott seem normal after the horrible role in “Hard Core.” (I’ll wait for you to hit the IMDB apps on your padular devices.”
This was all before Tom became a Scientologist and started harassing Wookie (he swears it is is the Scientologists who are messing with his schedule at Disneyland!). So…I wasn’t really sure if it would work or not.
Suffice it to say, that I was relieved that I didn’t have to talk about the insanity of trying to fund Oregon Schools with taxes on cannabis, cigarettes, booze and casinos…because it is the kind of topic that make Mrs. Miller crave a drink…which in some weirdly abstract way is “Self-funding” her school, I guess.
Anyway…just when I was almost done with the weekend, this week’s episode of the Simpsons was about one of my OTHER pet peeves…giving kids “participation trophies” and over-boarding their “rewards” for mediocrity.
BOOM! I said it. And, it has NOTHING to do with being “political,” and everything to do with being an athlete. There was a reason that you had to work your butt off to get to the All Star Team…and that everyone doesn’t get the same reward as those who EARNED the reward. I know…I know…those who can’t perform at the same level as others who were “gifted” with athletic ability (also known as practicing a TON more than those who aren’t as “gifted”) can’t earn the same praises and prizes. Well...life is like that. I wanted to be an NBA star…but was born with huge thighs, and am “height challenged” (and also hated basketball).
But, DON’T show Mrs. Miller this post, please. She does NOT agree with me…and has spent her life making sure that our daughters are all supported, loved, and very rewarded equally (you should see her worry over her gift lists at Christmas). Add to this she is very much in charge of MY “rewards” and you can see my dilemma.
So…to that point…as a father of five daughters, I often do things that I’m not sure other, large, burly men would do. Like go to one of the opening screenings of “Beauty and the Beast” in iMax/3D and weeping openly due to the combination of the amazing production, story-line, strong female lead character, and memories of my daughters when they were little, all dressing up as “Belle.”
I’m just going to say this…GO!!! SEE IT! Forget about anything else you have read about it…it is one of the most beautiful, amazing, complete musical/movie events you will ever see. It may even help you wash the “La La Land” (which I hated) from your pallet. There is just nothing bad to say about it. It is the best use of live action/CGI I have seen…and that includes all of the goofy (and waaaaaaaaaaaay too numerous) Super Hero movies that are out.
Mrs Miller loved it. A strong girl, with the right intentions wins in the end…and the misogynist jerk (who may have been an All Star in High School) gets his due!
Man. This wandered a ton.
I’m glad I got Lisa’s skin…with minimal attention to tapping. As you can tell…I’ve been busy. We’ll see if I can stay focused enough to stay on track for the rest of the update.
I’m easily distracted these days… I thought the “talking microwave” was just a delusional hangover from watching talking candlesticks and clocks in the movie. Now I’m not so sure... It’s talking to me in an English accent, and asking if Tom is here!
But THAT can wait for another Monday…
Great rambling post Patric.
I also have reservations about “show up” awards. I was a natural athlete but my parents were unable to afford extra coaching and camps. They also lacked the “tiger” gene, thank gawd, so never ever pushed any of us kids beyond our comfort zone. So, point 1, are these participation awards stepping stones to unreasonable future parental expectations? Kids do NOT need that pressure. Leads to parents demanding more from their kids than they are capable of, making the child feel more like a failure for disappointing their parents, besides not getting the trophy. Feeling like they have let a parent down can haunt, and affect performance in ALL aspects of life for decades.
And point 2, with the type of parental involvement I experienced, I learned early on that the best competition was with myself. If I could say every time I left the field or the court that I did my best, and I had a healthy acknowledgement of short falls, then I was learning, and could improve internally. Because in the end you have to live with yourself, and knowing you didn’t do your best, practiced hard enough, or cracked enough books, no amount of ribbons or trophies will make you forget that.
Not saying I am the most well adjusted, or graceful loser, ever hatched, but I have perspective. And that is a valuable lesson children, and many adults, need to learn.
I once received a reward for ‘most improved’ player on my baseball team. We did not all get trophies (and I do not think people should) but they saw I tried hard each and every time but was just not very good. I think they gave it to me to encourage me trying regardless of my poor skills. George C Scott gets a pass for anything he’s ever done (even football in the groin) since he portrayed General George S. Patton Jr.!!!
Most improved are valid in my book. They show hard work!
I hate to be “that” person, but I am not sure I want my daughter to see Beauty and the Beast. The take away message seems to be “don’t worry about that violent, abusive jerk, he has a reason for it and he will change if you truly love him”. The Stockholm syndrome message aside, it is a cinematic marvel, so I am kind of on the fence.
Well that’s the same message in the cartoon, no?
Yes, and as someone who spent 10 years of my childhood watching my mother get abused by my stepfather, only to see him make a pathetic gesture to make it all better, this hits a little too close to home. The fact that Belle is portrayed as an intelligent, forward thinking woman somehow makes this all worse.
I have been told I am reading too much into this, but domestic abuse is a real and ongoing problem. Too many women find their “prince charming” only to have him become a beast who turns violent, then gives them flowers afterwards to make it all better.
I guess i was just wondering if the cartoon had the same message and you’re against it, why would you see it again? It’s such a big role in the plot of the story it’s not something that would change with this one.
I’m not saying you’re reading into it, everyone sees and feels what they do for a reason. And yours is certainly understandable. But why make yourself upset with it if you know how it’s going to end?
One of the main reasons i don’t so scary movies is because i know they’ll terrify me and i won’t enjoy it. So i don’t watch them because i know how they’ll make me feel.
Not trying to tell you what to do or not do. Just wondering…
I never looked at Beauty And The Beast that way, what I got from it was that we need to look beyond the outward appearance to the real person inside. I like to imagine a world where we all had no sight, no prejudices 😊 (I know, definitely a fantasy that has too many flaws, but I’m ok with that 😂)
Good point, but to hear everyone say what a beautiful movie it is makes me think twice. At least my daughter is not interested in seeing it. I didn’t have to say anything, she is just not a princess girl. Now Lego Batman she begged to go see as soon as she saw the trailer 🙂
lol that’s a good one!
Oh…and cartoon aside…I’m sorry for what you went through. Anyone who is abusive is a lousy coward…period.
The only thing I can offer up, is that the “Beast” definitely pays for his original hubris…and is never violent toward “Belle”…just a slow learner in social graces.
The JERK (Gastone)…who deserves to die…is the pushy, abusive, horrible one…who manipulates the truth, and goes out of his way to hurt others when he doesn’t get his way. Not a good lesson for kids, adults or those in power.
Uhm… the actual violent jerk gets what he deserves in the end. “The Beast” only defends her…and almost dies doing so.
Beauty and the Beast was an amazing movie. It’s a rare movie that I would say is better than the animated movie.
Or at least as good. Agreed!
I HATE mondays, too. I spend the week looking forward to friday, and on friday I get depressed because it will be monday again so soon…
Regarding the participation trophies, I don’t agree. The need to win at any cost can suck the fun out of everything, and stressing this competitiveness leads to all kinds of character flaws. Every day you see people lie, steal and cheat to get “the trophy”, ranging from stealing other people’s work to get that promotion to athletes doping up to win.
We will agree to disagree. I also see a whole generation of kids who think their every move deserves a reward. They are shocked when life throws them a curve. Learning to work through defeat is one of the most important lessons you can teach a child.
I believe that children rarely learn anything valuable from winning…we seem to learn and grow mainly from set backs and defeats. Sad, but that seems to be how we are wired. Even a gracious person learned to be a good sport by experiencing humiliation from a “less than gracious” competitor…after such an experience, we “don’t want to be that person”. Encouraging the idea that everyone is always a winner denies the child valuable learning, coping and growing skills.
Actually, I do agree with you on that, I just think you might lead kids up to that more gently. Showing them that losing is not the end of the world by giving them a little something for trying.
“Participation” ribbons have always been so wrong to me. Teach kids that it’s ok to be mediocre, you’ll still be rewarded? Why try if I’ll be rewarded anyway… IMO it sets them up to be lazy, unmotivated, uninspired… you get the gist. Most improved, now I like that one. Praise is so important when a child is growing up, & emphasizing doing their best (truly doing), is so much more productive than just a blue ribbon for participating.
I think it is important to teach kids that they won’t always be the best at everything, and that that is ok. There will always be the kids who are more talented and will win all the prizes. I always struggled with everything sports related and it was really frustrating for me that I never could get anything, even though I did the best I could. Which of course led to my not even trying any more. That all changed when we finally got a PE teacher who gave out grades according to how much the pupils applied themselves, suddenly it was worth trying again, and even though I still wasn’t good at it, I still got good grades. My very own “participation trophy” 😉
That was a great idea, because it rewarded you for your efforts, not for just participating 😊 …and like you said, it encouraged you to try again (as opposed to giving up) 😊😊
OK, I think I see your point. You don’t get rewarded for just showing up, but for the effort you put in, so it’s not just a “participation trophy”. Still, especially for little kids a participation trophy is still nice. I remember my nephew, pre-school age, and totally into soccer. The little ones were not really big on tactics or anything, they just ran around like crazy (or rolled around in the mud), and tried to kick at the ball every chance they got. And everyone cheered when the ball landed in the goal – any goal. It seemed cruel to tell one team afterwards they lost, because they all had so much fun just playing. So everyone got a trophy, and everyone was a winner. Although they all threw everything they got into the game, so again awards for effort… Man, I am talking myself into a corner here – all I was trying to say is, that participation trophies can be used to motivate kids, even if they are not the best, and help them keep up their efforts. But it probably works best on the young ones. I don’t think you can motivate a jaded teenager with a participation prize any more.
It’s all cool, I get what you’re saying. There is an age where you need to teach kids it’s ok to lose IMO. I play games with my grandkids, depending on their age developmentally, I do let them win so they don’t get discouraged, but then I let the game play out & when they lose, I assert to them that everyone can’t win every time, that you just keep trying. I believe you are teaching them a life skill that will stay with them into adulthood. When I see a pro player (whatever the sport), who basically throws a tantrum because they lose, whether it be a bad call, a bad day, or whatever the situation, I think back to what they learned as a child. Life isn’t fair, stuff happens, or you did your best & it didn’t work. Accept it & move on, try to learn from the experience 😊😊 Now this is just my opinion, others might view it differently 😊
Agreed 🙂
You can’t win every time, but you are only a looser if you let it get to you and stop trying.
😊 in the wise words of Dory… just keep swimming 😂😄
LOVE THIS! You are a great grandma☺️……💜X
☺️ thank you Ella
AABEND- It was instilled in me to always try my best. I might not necessarily come top but as long as I gave it my best shot I should hold my head up high and be proud. So great on the track, rubbish on the field and that was cool by me. Also bottom group for maths but top group for English, Lit, French and German and I could deal with that too. I just worry for kids who will enter the workplace and not be able to cope with rejection & loss when they go for internal promotions. Yes, do your best and reward effort but it’s equally important to teach that in life there will always be those who come first/on top and the also rans. This helps me cope with supporting a useless football team….and Homer is a good example of this😂……💜X
I think we are both trying to say the same thing – try your best, accept that you can’t always win, but also know that not winning doesn’t make you a looser. And participation trophies for the not-winners seem to me a good teaching tool for that, at least for young kids.
Exactly. You got it…
Most definitely agree about the supporting teams that are not winners. The Coyotes are a good example 😂 If it weren’t for the Avalanche, we’d have ended up in last place. They’re still my team 😀 For now, I’m hoping the Wild go to the Stanley playoffs, but I foresee the Blackhawks & Penguins. In which case… Blackhawks will be my hope… 😊 (Funny because I’m a Steeler fan) 😂
Agree…100%.
I watched Tap long long time ago like 20 years? and really like the plot as it was very unique. Once in a while the image of Tom Cruise marching down the hall still appears in my mind.
Pretty intense film for it’s time…for sure.
Not everyone deserves an award! I remember when my daughter got to a certain age in softball, the coach was talking to them before the tournament and one girl asked about getting a trophy, the coach said your not getting a trophy unless you win! As you get older, trophies come in different forms. My trophy was when my boss said to me today, “I think you and I are the only ones who work here that have common sense!” So yeah, reward people who are doing better then others at the same job, it makes them feel good and want to do their best!
Boom! Agreed! Same job…same pay. Improved or above average skills…more reward!
Thanks Patric! The pay may be different, more based on years, but it feels like a trophy when you’re boss says something like that to you!
Hallelujah! Someone else who shares my pet peeve of celebrating mediocrity. It is such a nonsense and really winds me up. ‘We’re all winners’ bull faeces. No wonder England are so rubbish at most competitive sports. Our younger athletes lack that killer instinct because they do not have the same drive and hunger to excel that was required back in the day. I had natural ability but still had to train really hard after school to get and maintain the record for the 100 & 200 metres for my school and county. If I didn’t win I was a loser; no celebration, no trophy, no flannel and rightly so. Those records remained in place way after I left school for University. We are all blessed in different ways……💜X
EXACTLY!!!! I paid the price…I get the reward.
I really wanted to see this until I heard the naff reviews and the many comments about Emma’s singing sounding obviously autotuned really turned me off seeing it 😁.
But I may go and see it now … It’s Disney, I’ll always end up seeing it 😉.
Plus, I love Emma Watson ❤
She’s great. There are some haters out there…have no idea why. I see TONS of movies…and it was one of my favorite in a long, long time. As far as auto-tuning…I wish they had fixed some music in La La Land…and maybe some “Auto-Dancing” as well!
Well if people can put up with dwayne Johnson singing in Moana then I’m sure Emma Watson can’t be that bad in comparison.
I love him! Now I have to see it just knowing that 😊 A man with a sense of humor (the eye candy helps😂😂), has always been my favorite trait 😊