Where Did THAT Come From – Wayne Slater & Grind House Assassin

An American, a spy, and a socialist walk into a bar… he sits down and orders a beer. In our silly lil game, we sometimes see things pop in that we have no clue as to their Origin. They seem familiar, but we just can’t pinpoint from where. So that is why we decided to make a fun lil reminder out of it. To let you know just Where Did THAT Come From?

Wowza… the 2017 Secret Agent Simpsons Event is in full effect and we’re all busy collecting intel, crafting subversive surveillance items, and tapa-tapa-tapping secret agents and spies in a covert palooza all about Globex, the EPA, GHOST, and the CIA. It’s enough to make me want to watch Roger Moore, Sean Connery, Don Adams, and Rowan Atkinson on repeat. Hooray for new ideas in TSTO. Just like the xxth Bond movie, life lessons as an adult, or an intelligence collection mission, I’m sure a lot of us never saw this coming. Of course, with any new event, there’s always an inevitable tapping on my attic floor from Alissa to get started on writing about the origins for it all. It’s always a pleasure to re-watch episodes of the Best. Show. Ever. to do just that. For this round of origins, we’ll be taking a look at two of the items which came our way in Act Two of the Spy Event.

Wayne Slater – 7th Act Two Prize for 74,800 personal intel
Grind House Assassin – third prize for completing C.I.A. dossiers

“The Falcon and the D’ohman” (S23:E1)

So once upon a time people wondered what the relationship status of one Ned Flanders and Mrs. Krabappel would be after flirting in the final episode of Season 22. Well, this is the episode that answered the question and also gave actor Kiefer Sutherland a third opportunity to guest star on the Best. Show. Ever.  I just love all the little things in the background of CBG’s geek lair.

In this episode, Homer tries to befriend a new security guard at the nuclear power plant… one Wayne Slater. The potential friendship starts off a little rocky and not in a miniature Philadelphia boxer sort of way. Wayne is an aloof sort of fella. No fist pumps… no conversation… no nothing… he’s all business. Not a complete loss though as later Homer ends up succeeding in giving Wayne a ride home courtesy of some golf ball-sized hail and a closed sidewalk. Wayne even agrees to have one beer with Homer before they resume a professional non-friendship. Poor Homer… he just wants to feel like he’s friends with everybody.

Enter robber Snake with a “totally surprising entrance” on a motorcycle. Thank goodness Wayne is around to stop him.

Homer is so stoked and thankful for his new pal with beat down self-defense skills that he takes Wayne home for dinner. Wayne admits to the family he’s had the sort of training that’s not allowed to be given any more. The kind where you fight ninjas, a sumo wrestler, a Vatican Swiss guard, Go Go from Kill Bill, a tank, a burly mustachioed man in any old timey swimsuit, Chucky, Pinhead, Kobe Bryant, the Penguin and his henchmen, the Baseball Furies, and a polar bear. Wayne is a haunted dude. I’m excited that the Grind House Assassin NPC from the CIA dossiers is something from the show AND a good movie.

Also just love having Wayne do his 8 hour “Practice Martial Arts” task all over my town and pretending he’s taking down Burgess Meredith.

The next day at work, poor Wayne is besieged by reporters due to his heroics at Moe’s. Mr. Burns even awards Wayne the plant’s silver safety hat for his “valiant fisticuffery.” Too bad it reminds Wayne of when he saved the visible half of the moon and the CIA tried to erase his memory. He throttles Monty and loses his job. NOTE: There’s a great Indian Jones Easter egg in this scene… you’re welcome.

Homer invites Wayne with his gravelly Lauren Bacall voice and “his reoccurring flashbacks to a nightmarish past” to stay at the ol’ Simpson home until he gets back on his feet. What could go wrong? Well… firstly, Wayne’s awesome sleep talk about all his covert missions as he restlessly sleeps in Bart’s treehouse keeps up most of Springfield but it does make me smile. Wayne admits to staying in Springfield to lie low since the town appears on no maps or charts. Homer claims this is because they couldn’t find any photos that didn’t have him urinating or naked in them. The mapmaker’s convention visited once but they all got Lou Gehrig’s disease. Apparently there’s an alternate Springfield version of that disease too. Weird. While Wayne stays with the fams, he teaches the kids advanced interrogation techniques much to Marge’s dismay. At least Marge learns some handy parking techniques and Bart can now defeat the bullies at school.

That’s when things get good and Ukreignian (watch the episode before correcting the spelling) gangsters in Kiev discover where Wayne is and kidnap Homer to get to him. Does Wayne rescue his “friend”? Well… I’m not gonna ruin the answer. Suffice to say… Wayne is awesome, Springfield has a Little Ukraine district with hilarious shop names, the Grumple shows up, Wayne once wrote a Kim Jong Il musical, and I’m glad this haunted man is now in our Springfields.

Anyhoo… that’s about it. What do you think of Mr. Slater. Did you earn him? Dig the karate task as much as me? You think he was hiding in the DMV this whole time? Sound off in the comments and happy spying friends. Fist bump!

TTFN… Wookiee out!