Let’s start with the fact that I realize that the content of this post may offend some of you. Some of you are hardcore supporters of EA and everything they do. Some of you are hardcore KEM miners who can/will buy anything, just because you can. And some of you are women, who hate seeing men objectify certain parts of the female anatomy.
Thinking about it…this post might offend ALL of the above-mentioned categories of players. But, hear me out. I think I have some of the most valid reasons ever for passing on a Premium Buy, that most people (knowing my sadly “dirty old man” aversion to cartoon women in this game) may be shocked (or not, after I explain it) to read here. I’m not proud of it…but it is…as they say…what it is!
Here are the THREE primary reasons I didn’t buy this combo…
1. Enough with the sexual/phallic decorations already, EA!
Nobody is fooled by the “storage tanks” at the nuke plant, or the less-than-disguised way the Observatory thrusts and refracts. And, if you look around, even casually…you’ll see breasts and phallic parts all over Springfield. Most are FAR more clever than a couple of dirt mountains…lazily named “curvaceous cave!”
Transparent, much EA? Pffftttt….
2. She’s Clearly Modeled After an AWFUL movie!!
The Mid-60s were a time when Hollywood could/would put almost anything out that was a bit tawdry, in lieu of anything resembling a logical script, or good acting. A perfect example of that is a little gem called, “One Years Million BC.” Forget any semblance of actual science (this movie had cave people wandering freely with myriad dinosaurs from prehistoric periods separated by millions of years), there was only one reason (or perhaps we should say two) that made this movie a box-0ffice hit)…Rachel Welch’s assets…that were famously covered (barely) by saber-tooth tiger fur.
This movie ( which only gets 5.3 stars on IMDB, and 35% popcorn on Rotten Tomatoes) is only memorable as the film that launched Raquel into the stratosphere (of exploitation appearances) revealing both of her “acting talents” regularly on TV guest appearances, and more horrible movies.
Let’s be honest…if there was a plot at all, it was all in the poster.
Or the “publicity stills” from the movie… which make her look a tad less than “Paleolithic”…the era from which she would have been 1 Million BC ago (give or take 2,000 years).
Let’s face it…forgetting all of the science (and even religious beliefs) for a bit…it is clear what made this movie work. Boobs…
Which brings us to the MAIN REASON I’m NOT Buying this Premium Combo…
3. What did you do with Booberella’s Boobs?????
As I have written about in the past, Booberella is based on Elvira…who had cleavage that could make even the “Walking Dead” take pause. Booberella…even the Simpson-ized/TSTO version has plenty of “V” in her v-necks.
So….WHAT HAPPENED HERE???
Did they put poor Booberella on the Paleo Diet? Did the lack of modern processed sugar and carbohydrates starve her poor body to the point of “chestal-emaciation?” And she’s sun-bathing????? No. Sorry…Mindy Sunbathes. WHO DID THIS ART??? What do you have against BOOBS?????
If you were going to copy Raquel…there were SO many options!! You could have her “Lunging at a brontosaurus!” Or “Slap fighting with a T-Rex” (those tiny arms flailing would have been hilarious). Or even just standing…legs and arms splayed (like the movie shots) and call it, “Stand rigid in fear)…or something like that. But, no… we sunbathe (what’s left of our shrunken body) and make fire???? UGH!! Do you not remember that her regular character is “BURNED AT THE STAKE!!!!” To quote Frankenstein’s monster, “Fire…BAD!!”
Sorry. As much as I love women in the game…especially scantily clothed women…reducing the value (and size) of Booberalla’s finest assets is simply unconscionable!
PASS!!!!
Great post. Thanks! Keep on posting stuff like this.
I didn’t bougt the skin. There is a pattern over the last events where you have to buy a skin for an already bought premium character to earn event currency. I think that’s not reasonable.
Also Booberella was 100 donuts and the skin now is an additional 100 donuts. If you didn’t own her the bundle is only 150 donuts. This isn’t a business conduct I support.
Speaking of phallic, I placed this directly in front of Satan’s Anvil. Haven’t lost any neighbors yet over what some may consider a vulgar display, but this is the only reason I got this. Could care less about the additional Boobarella skin.
*Entertaining read Patrick!
I never liked the gag. It’s tough–I typically only buy characters I have a personal connection with or enjoy their TV Land plots/gags. A few stragglers I guess roam around my Springfield, but I drew a line at Booberella!
I must say you fooled me here, expected some politically correct mumbo jumbo but what a plot twist a one Rachels movie lacked.
It’s not often I am able to read all of the responses to a Mod’s posts, but I just had to on this one. There is a title and author for every post. I personally LOVE (I hope my caps didn’t cause anyone to be butt-hurt), LOVE the sarcastic humor that Patric has brought to this site! As a multi-year Addict, I think he rounds out the group quite well. As was pointed out by Alissa, there is no paycheck in it for them. They run this site to help us. I think they do a pretty damn great job too! (If Rhett can say “damn”, so can I😂) I’ll say to anyone about the posts here the same as I say about The Simpsons, YOU DON’T HAVE TO WATCH/READ IT! Oops… my bad about the caps, sorry to offend anyone’s delicate little feelings. You don’t like some of the posts, well there are those of us that do!!!
I don’t claim to be a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn, so take a few chill pills and come back in the morning 😁😁😁😁😁
@Alissa
I agree with your response completely. You and the team do great work here for all of us faithful players. We all like what we do and don’t what we don’t about this game. The important thing about my last statement is “game”. You all provide information about the game, so very important, but it can’t be all business all the time! I love the conversations that take place on the side. I don’t often respond or put in my 2 cents but I read a lot. It upsets me when people attack the thoughts and opinions expressed. Sorry for the rant. The Simpsons is about the fact that no-one is immune to satire and opinion. Why should this site (dedicated to the show/game) be any different! The team deserves respect for the time that you volunteer to make this great community happen!
Thank you.
Much appreciated! 🙂
Ha! I thought you were going in completely the opposite direction, criticizing the game for too much reliance on low-brow appeal, until those last few paragraphs.
Now the engineer in me is going to come out again — I did a few quick back-and-forth skin changes, between Cavewoman Booberella and her normal outfit, and the, er, size did seem to match, at least in her standing position. I do wish they copied Raquel Welch’s outfit more exactly though…
You didn’t mention my favorite phallic object, the Burns Slant Dilling Co. spurting its “oil” all over the place!
“Drilling”
Boom!!!
Bwahaha, you’re right!!! Never looked at it like that!
This post wins the internet. Congratulations, Patric. The internet’s in the mail. No givesies-backsies.
This post sum up my least favorite thing about this site. Make no mistake, this blog had been hugely useful and prvoided valuable advice for my gameplay. But, “satirical” posts like this are designed solely to get the author over and not provide any constructive game play insight. Make no mistake, 95% of the readers (and that’s probably low), are here for the game play tips and information on the game, not the “satire”.
Yes but 100% of the writers are here because we enjoy writing and what we write. Make no mistake if we didn’t this site would cease to exist.
It’s not our job. It’s not any of our sources of income. We do it because we enjoy it. When we stop having fun this site ends, just like that.
So take the these kind of posts or leave them…but you can’t and won’t have the game posts without them.
So basically…im sorry you’re not happy but i dont care. You don’t pay me to participate in this site..so your expectations really dont matter in the scheme of what i choose to post and when. Im tired of people demanding things of me and this site. We’re here because we want to be, not because we have some obligation to you and what you want/expect from this site.
Word!!!
I disagree with some of what you wrote and I had a much longer response written, but I decided to step back.
But I did want to say this. I am aware that this is fully voluntary and I appreciate the hard work that you and your co-writers put into this blog. I wouldn’t keep coming back if I didn’t enjoy it. So thank you.
I dunno what there is to disagree with me over…you’re not inside my head lol
But i appreciate your appreciation 😀
Too late… sorry. Let’s face it… the entitlement quota just got pegged. You have no clue about the time and effort Alissa puts into this site… and that she ASKS me for “filler” to give her a break.
The fact is… this game is SO EASY…that anyone that is reliant on this site or any other source for about half of what people ask for is just plain lazy.
And for the record…this place is FAR more than just a “game help site.” It is a community. We are more than a bunch of tips.
I will continue to write what I want…after almost 4 years of blogging about it…I’ve earned the right to have fun…to break up the tedium and repetition…and to completely disregard entitled “takers” who simply don’t get it.
You think Alissa was mad here? You should have seen her texts.
Back away. Far, far away.
If this blog has been hugely useful to you and provided valuable advice to you you should probably show gratitude for said information you received for free by not posting negative comments towards the people who provided this help for you
I second that whole heartedly!
I LOL’d. Thanks Patric. 🙂
Patric, I think you need to relax and enjoy your
golden years. We’re probably close in age (I’m 55 and a father of two, 23 and 16) and
I think this game is brilliant. The whole Simpsons franchise is outstanding. It’s extremely irreverent which is one of the things I enjoy the most about it. The boob caves and Booberella are in line with every thing else Simpsons. If you can laugh at it you can live with it. I’ve been a fan of Raquel Welch since I’m a kid. She still looks great to this day. Elvira too. And FYI, her cleavage is fake. It’s a prosthetic. This game is the best one I have ever played. I never get tired of it and am always entertained with all the new content and events that are constantly included. I also enjoy this site and all the posts and advice by you and the others. I acquired the cave combo because I didn’t have Booberella and I buy most items anyway. Keep up the good work!
Dave….thanks for the constructive, rational input!
I hope you realize that the first 2 parts were just a set up for the last one…MORE BOOBS!
I very much enjoy my life…and apparently enjoy poking a bit at those who take the game and life a tad too seriously. It’s a game… but, it can be enhanced greatly by more boobs. Why do you think I was so quick to bring up Raquel’s shots? LOL!