There are some who would say that we have been “punished enough” with this event. A LOT of grinding to get a character with a questionable amount of screen time to warrant being named as a prize. However, we got BORT, who had less than 10 seconds of full screen time, so a guy who has had several random appearances seems like it makes sense.
If you have done your due diligence, and logged on 4 times a day and cleared/resent your Ride Attendants, you should have had no problem earning the final prize.
Good News! This is an actual (and seemingly scarce) FREE FULL CHARACTER!! Whooohooo! Let’s take a look at the details…
Prize 6: Corporal Punishment
Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 1
Corporal Punishment: SIR! YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, SIR?
Krusty: Corporal, I like you. You work cheap. More importantly, you don’t seem to REALIZE you work cheap. I want you to be my new sidekick.
Corporal Punishment: WOULD THE CLOWN LIKE ME TO ELIMINATE SIDESHOW MEL?
Krusty: Ew, no. Not yet, anyway. Maybe later. Almost certainly later. Anyway, let’s see a smile there, soldier.
Task: Make Corporal Punishment Struggle to Smile- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Krusty: Oh God, that was horrifying! Why did I hear creaking and popping noises when you tried to smile?
Corporal Punishment: SIR, I HAVE NEVER USED MY SMILING MUSCLES BEFORE, SIR!
Krusty: Can we turn down the volume, please?
Corporal Punishment: Sir, yes, sir.
Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 2
Krusty: You’ve obviously forgotten what it’s like to be a kid. Let’s practice. Play with these hand puppets.
Corporal Punishment: How shall I play with the puppets, sir?
Krusty: Just make up a scene: a tea party, a ball game, or a silly cowboy adventure!
Corporal Punishment: Making up scene now, sir. Captain Puppet, sir! The Nazis have broken through our lines! They’re using some kind of chemical weapon! It’s eating my skin! Auugghh! Auuugghhhh! Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!
Task: Make Corporal Punishment Play with Hand Puppets- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
Corporal Punishment: Dead. All dead. These men were the only family I’ve ever known, and those Nazi SCUM took them from me. I want BLOOD. Am I playing with puppets correctly, sir?
Krusty: Sure. The kids in my audience love stories about the horror and futility of war.
Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 3
Krusty: I’ll make you an entertainer yet, Corporal. Let’s try some stand-up comedy. Every great stand-up has a funny stage persona. What do you think your persona should be?
Corporal Punishment: Humorless giant who considers comedy a waste of time?Krusty:Well, I haven’t seen it before…
TASK: Make Corporal Punishment Practice Stand-Up Comedy– 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Corporal Punishment: I gotta tell ya, the fastest way to clear a village of armed insurgents is to ask them to take a BATH. That, or call in a coordinated strike of Boeing AH-64 Apache ATTACK HELICOPTERS.
Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 4
Krusty: You’re the worst stand-up I’ve ever seen. You’ve got no talent, no material, and no timing. As far as I can see, there’s no aspect of entertainment you do well. Which makes you the perfect clown. Trust me on this.
TASK:Make Corporal Punishment Try to Clown Around-8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Corporal Punishment: Clowning mission successful, commander. All japes and gags present and accounted for.
Krusty: Actually, that was pretty good. Which makes you a threat to me. If you ever pick up a pie again, you’re fired.
Comedic and Unusual Punishment Pt. 5
Krusty: I’ve got it! You’re not funny, Corporal, but you ARE funny-looking.
Corporal Punishment: Sir, thank you, sir!
Krusty: Imagine a hunk of vibranium like you petting an adorable little kitten, and saying: I wuv my wittle kitty….It’ll kill!
Corporal Punishment: My mission is to kill a kitten?
Krusty: No, that’s probably a downer. Let’s try it first without the killing
TASK: Make Corporal Punishment Cuddle a Kitten- 2hrs, Earns $110,27xp
Corporal Punishment: I wuv my wittle kitty.
Krusty: Aww, the kids love you! I’m a genius!
Corporal Punishment: When do I terminate the kitten?
Krusty: Never! Never kill a bit that’s working. Just keep doing it over and over, for years, and years, and years…
Corporal Punishment’s Permanent Tasks:
Task …………………..Task Length… Earns,,,,,,,,,,,, Location
Clean Up After Krusty – 1hr – $70, 17xp – Just walks around outside
Play with Hand Puppets 4hrs -$175, 45xp – Outside/Visual
Try to Clown Around – 8hrs – $275 70xp – Outside/Visual
Watch Military Shows on ViewTube – 12hrs – $420, 100xp – Brown House
Watch Cute Animals on ViewTube 24hrs – $600, 150xp – Brown House
(Also has tasks to Overpay for Sex on the Beach, Try to Win at Blackjack, Drink and Babysit and Dance the Senor Burns (if you own the buildings associated with those tasks)
There you have it…the BEST prize of Act III. Take it or leave it…or put it in the brig for inhumane treatment of a wittle kitty!
What did YOU think of Corporal Punishment? And yes…I’m talking about the character, not the “good old days” when a teacher could paddle a kid!