I honestly have no idea why the designers/programmers thought that this would be a great addition to Halloween…but, here it is.
I get it. The concept is creepy. But for those of us at or nearing retirement age, the idea of being “cocooned” for eternity is just plain weird. Unless of course, you are talking about the way the codgers in the movie “Cocoon” were treated (swimming with hot aliens in a pool that reversed the aging process). But, I digress…
We got The Webs…”A Retirement Forest” at “Giant Spider Acres.”
So…yes…this does kind of make one want to buy the Giant Spider if you don’t have it. Which I don’t. But, I won’t…simply because I don’t want to give into the thought of having my loved ones visit me in a creepy forest, dangling from a tree branch.
No…we already have a plan for my cremains (ashes). One Third in the family cemetery (yes…weirdly…my family has a cemetery), 1/3 sprinkled near Proposal Rock at Neskowin…my favorite beach, and where I first knew that I would be with Deb the rest of my life, and 1/3 sprinkled into a drink served to my enemies so they can choke on me one more time.
But, once again…perhaps I am missing the point. It is free (which is a heck of a lot better deal than real cemeteries or memorial gardens), and it does get us closer to getting the rest of the stuff in this act.
So…Bring on The Webs.
Act 1, Prize 4- The Webs
Build Time: 4hrs
Earns: $300, 30xp/24hrs
Conform-O-Meter: Indolence +10
Can be Placed: On grass|dirt
Arrangement Bonus: None
What Does It Do: Comes with a questline and earns income every 8hrs, Burns will have a 12hr task there (Consider Retirement) to earn event currency (however this does not earn axes, so you’re still better sending him to the tasks at Holy Forge to earn axes)
Auto starts when built
Burns: Smithers, there comes a day in every gentleman’s life when he must grapple with his own mortality. I find today is that day.
Smithers: Nonsense, Sir, your best days are still ahead of you. Why, you don’t look a day over ninety-five.
Burns: Thank you, Smithers, but today I found a wrinkle in the one wrinkle-free spot I had left.
Smithers: *gasp* Not the crevice between your second and third toes?! But we’ve been oiling it nightly.
Burns: I think it’s time to decide what happens after I *shudder* retire.
TASK: Make Mr. Burns Consider Retirement- 12 hrs,
Earns 360 Event currency and 100xp
Smithers: What did you think of the retirement home, Sir?
Burns: I think it’s an excellent opportunity…to buy and squeeze all the money we can out of those old codgers.
Smithers: Oh thank goodness. Your cold-hearted evil mojo is back!
And there you have it… The Webs.
Next up? Event Crafting Currency…and then…