Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Grab your Santa hats and break out the tinsel because it’s Christmas time in Springfield! Yes the annual TSTO Christmas event has arrived in our pocket-sized towns, covering our usual perfect weather towns with a fresh blanket of bright, white, snow!
While the Christmas event, and snow, are annual the structure of this event is anything but! This is the first major event in Springfield that’s structured like a mini-event. Christmas consists of 4 parts (or Acts), with each part lasting a week and taking us through a new part of the Simpsons Christmas Special!
Act 3 tells the tale of a Young Woman who returns home to her family’s Christmas Tree Farm to be reunited with her long lost love! Marge is the narrator for this Christmas tale, so let’ take a look at how she’s ripping off the Hallmark Channel…
First, here’s the Week 3 Synopsis from EA:
Marge tells the story of a big city businesswoman who must return to her hometown, against the wishes of her fiancé who hates Christmas, who is played by Flanders, to help her family run their struggling Christmas tree farm.
Marge arrives to discover that her former love, played by Homer, whom she abandoned to pursue her dreams seven years prior, has been working at the Christmas tree farm this whole time, and never gotten over her. Homer tries to convince Marge that he’s the man she should be with, but accidentally burns down the entire Christmas tree farm in his effort to impress her. Marge decides to get away from it all at a Christmas-themed inn, owned by Smithers, but is met there by Flanders, who is appalled to discover she’s begun to soften on the idea of Christmas.
The Ghost of Christmas Past arrives and announces to Marge that she cannot marry Flanders. She asks for a sign that Homer is the right man for her instead, but the Ghost is unable to produce one. However, Homer arrives at the inn and Marge takes it as a sign that they’re meant to be together. Smithers then announces he must leave forever to take care of Mr. Burns, and gifts the Snowed Inn to Marge and Homer to run as a year-round Christmas-themed inn.
And now we’ll jump into the week 3 dialogue…
Where ever you see the story italicized indicates the story that Marge is telling. The regular font indicates real-time Springfield
Christmas is Canceled Pt. 5
Homer: Marge, you’ve been watching an awful lot of Hallmark Channel. Promise me this won’t be one of those boring, cookie-cutter holiday TV romances.
Marge: “Boring”? What’s boring about watching C-list actors falling slowly in love over a surprise-free, two-hour slog? I could have phrased that better…
Homer: No, you’re right. Tell your story. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that marriage is a compromise. If there’s a second thing I’ve learned, it’s how to retreat into an interior fantasy world whenever things get dull around here.
Marge: Awww, Homie.
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 1
Ned: Marge, my beautiful fiancée! Ready to jet off to the Bahamas for a snowless, un-Christmas-y holiday?
Homer: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re marrying Flanders in this story?!
Marge: The heroine ALWAYS starts out engaged to the wrong man. Respect the formula!
Marge: Oh, how I hate Christmas, ever since I hardened my heart and took a high-powered job of some kind in the city. But I must return to my hometown to help my mother run the family Christmas tree farm for the next few weeks.
Ned: Won’t you be miserable, surrounded by all that snow and Christmas cheer?
Marge: Don’t worry. I’m sure I won’t rediscover the magic of Christmas. Or fall back in love with the man I was always meant to be with.
Ned: Uh, who said anything about another man?
Make Marge Return to Her Hometown- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Stockings- x100. 4hrs.
Marge: Mom, I’m home!
Homer: *wakes up* Marge! What a surprise to see you here!
Marge: Have you been sleeping on my parents’ couch since I left seven years ago?
Homer: No! Sometimes I cry myself to sleep in ditches and storm drains. Anyway, I work at your family’s Christmas tree farm now.
Marge: Homer, I’m truly sorry I had to pursue my dream of being an executive in publishing, or advertising, or whatever it is.
Homer: But now you’ve returned to run the family business?
Marge: No. In order to run a Christmas tree farm, you have to believe in the power of Christmas. Otherwise the accounting is impossible.
Homer: True. You can’t manage the books without childlike innocence. That’s just business reality.
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 2
Marge: Mom, how could you hire my ex-fiancé to work at our family business?
Jacqueline Bouvier: Well, I wouldn’t have had to if YOU still held Christmas in your heart. But noooooo!
Marge: I discovered a better world. A world of business, and misplaced priorities, and boyfriends who don’t understand the real me!
Jacqueline Bouvier: What do you even do? You’ve never bothered to tell me!
Marge: Isn’t it enough to know that it stresses me out, and I think that makes me happy, but it’s actually killing me inside?!
Homer: Hi, Marge. Fancy seeing you here at the place where I work. Here, let me help you set up.
Make Marge Try to Ignore Homer- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Make Homer Try to Impress Marge– 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Stockings- x300. 4hrs.
Marge: Homer, seeing you reminds me of when I was young and carefree and full of hope. And I don’t like that! …is what I’m telling myself.
Homer: I’ll just move some Christmas trees around, so you can notice what all this physical labor has done for my muscles. Hey, remember how much we used to love hanging Christmas lights?
Marge: I guess a scene of us having fun together despite my reservations could be useful, story-wise…
Homer: *sound of trees suddenly all catching on fire* Oh. Hmm. I’m a little out of practice…
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 3
Homer: I’ll put the fire out! *runs into a flaming tree, catches fire, uses burning self to light a second tree on fire*
Jacqueline Bouvier: The family business is ruined. Marge, you’re free to return to your job in… is it fashion? Finance?
Marge: It’s a mix of those two, plus the music industry and something Internet-y. But I’m not going to let the Christmas tree farm fail. Not when I’ve got so much experience working in a field that’s not exactly luxury retail, but similar. Because I’m a driven, self-sacrificing, serious, no-fun kind of–
Jacqueline Bouvier: WE GET IT.
Place Flaming Christmas Trees- x6
Make Marge Formulate a New Plan– 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Make Homer Stop, Drop, and Roll- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Collect Stockings- x300. 4hrs.
Marge: I need to research the holiday industry. I’ll spend a weekend at a quaint country inn that’s Christmas-themed year round!
Jacqueline Bouvier: Is that even a real thing?
Marge: In stories like this one, they are literally EVERYWHERE.
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 4
Marge: *rings front desk bell* Hello? Is anyone here? I have a reservation.
Smithers: Welcome! Fresh gingerbread cookie? Nothing reignites your lost connection to Christmas like gingerbread!
Marge: I’m trying to maintain my Scrooge-y humbuggery for a few more quests, thanks. Eventually, my heart will melt and I’ll give in to the season. But not yet!
Smithers: That would be a TERRIFIC moment to run weeping into the arms of the true love you abandoned seven years ago…
Marge: That’s the plan! But in the meantime, bah humbug! *chuckles*
Make Marge Hate Christmas- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Make Smither’s Show Marge to her Room– 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Stockings- x300. 4hrs.
Marge: All this Christmas magic has me rethinking my life. I wish my cold, practical fiancé was here to refreeze my fast-melting heart.
Ned: Hello, Marge!
Marge: My beloved Flanders! It’s a Christmas miracle! *embraces him dramatically*
Ned: *pushes her away * “Christmas miracle”? Try to be practical and dour, won’t you?
Marge: I’m trying, Flanders my dear. Nothing scares me more than the prospect of rediscovering my true self and daring to love Christmas.
Ned: I swear to you, I will NOT let that happen!
Marge: Oh, Flanders! Thank God you’re here with me, instead of my true love!
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 5
Marge: Ooh, look! There are Christmas lights wound around the bedposts! Isn’t that cheery?
Ned: No! Christmas is a silly, frivolous holiday. And if you don’t know that, then maybe we shouldn’t be together! Now I will wildly overreact to this — in a way no actual person ever would — and storm out! *storms out*
The Ghost Of Christmas Past: Marge! It is I, the Ghost of Christmas Past! You cannot marry that man!
Homer: Hey! What did I say about “A Christmas Carol” knockoffs! I won’t have it!
Marge: I couldn’t help myself! Just one Christmas ghost. Promise.
The Ghost Of Christmas Past: I’ve been sent to remind you of the good times you had with Homer.
Homer: Okay, I like the cut of this guy’s jib. Objection withdrawn.
Make the Ghost of Christmas Past Dwell On the Past- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Make Marge Consider her Options– 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Collect Stockings- x300. 4hrs.
Marge: So, Mr. Ghost. I’m still waiting to hear why Homer is the man I should give my love to.
The Ghost Of Christmas Past: Yeah, um. Let me think here…
Marge: Just one good reason would do it…
The Ghost Of Christmas Past: Yeah, this is harder than I thought it’d be…
Homer: Marge, thank goodness I found you!
Marge: Homer? How did you find me here?
Homer: Let’s say I followed a star in the sky that led me to you. Let’s NOT say I hacked your email account.
Marge: It’s a Christmas miracle! We are MEANT to be together! *kisses Homer*
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 6
Ned: All right Margie, I’ve returned from my walk ready to hear your apology. Margie! Why are you kissing that man?!
Marge: I’ve decided to give my heart to someone who places a weird amount of importance on Christmas. Also, he’s been obsessed with me for years, which I gotta say feels pretty great.
Homer: Come on, Marge, let’s go make up for all those Christmases we missed together.
Make Marge Sit on Homer’s Lap- 12hrs, Earns $840, 200xp
Marge: Oh Homie. I’m so happy. Even though I’m with a man who can only be truly happy during the brief Christmas season.
Homer: Yeah, January through November is not pretty with me.
Smithers: Convenient news, Marge! I have to leave forever to take care of my beloved Mr. Burns, so I’m gifting the Snowed Inn to you. Just ensure it’s Christmas here year round.
Homer: Year round? What a disastrous business model, which let’s all just agree will work out fine!
Christmas is Canceled Pt. 6
Marge: Well, what did you all think of my story?
Bart: *wakes up with a start* Is it over? Thank the Lord.
Homer: *also waking* Bart! Show some respect for your mother’s riveting tale! Great story, Marge. Very suspenseful.
Maggie: *also waking* *sucking noises*
Marge: Did anyone NOT sleep through it? Lisa?
Marge: All right, fine. Who thinks they can do better? Huh? Huh?
And this concludes the full dialogue version of the Christmas 2018 Week 3 questline!
What are your thoughts on Marge’s story? Did you enjoy it? Did you miss out on the dialogue the first time around? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!