It’s amazing. Really amazing. I don’t feel like I’m a bona-fide senior citizen, even though the math is clearly stating it to be so. When you are officially on the Government dole, like I will be in a couple of days, you have to look back at your life and wonder, “Hey…how did I get here?”
But, then…you find yourself starting to whine about things that even the most learned Gen-EXers and Millennials would simply ignore, mostly because they have no freakin’ clue what I am talking about.
It happened again in the past few days. A handful of stuff in our game that made me say, “Holyfreakinshirt! Don’t they know nothin’ about nothin’???”
One was a matter of scale, again…but also the realization that most people wouldn’t have a clue about what I LIKED about the thing that was way too small. (I know…that sounded like a set up to a dirty joke).
The other had to do with EA besmirching a game I love, along with one of it’s most hallowed, legendary, players.
And, how they missed a chance to do something pretty cool for the New Year…that would help mark a 50th anniversary of a year that would make this one seem like a cakewalk (even though the cake probably has a few contraband ingredients that would make it less than appetizing for all but true cake-a-holics).
I’m gonna be 65 on New Year’s Day. So…let me whine a bit. I’m officially old. Get off my lawn! Nah…it’s OK. You can come on the lawn if you bring cake.
But man…that aircraft carrier really gets me going!
So yes… I immediately bought the Aircraft Carrier. I didn’t care so much for another version of Grandpa…especially since I already have him in his Hell Fish uniform. But, I do like ships. And I do like airplanes. So an aircraft carrier is a win/win on any level.
But dammitallanyway! This wouldn’t even be a 1/4 scale model. It is tiny…and REAL carriers are HUGE! As in really, really big. Even the WWII versions. So…yes…I was underwhelmed. But, it did have one of my favorite Pacific theater fighters on the decks…the F4 Corsair. The gull wings give it away. They were one of the top fighter designs for naval aircraft (their wings folded for storage below the flight deck). And, were a very important part in winning the war on Japan, as their speed and extra distance, allowed them to escort the bombers closer to their targets. All good. Of course, they are way out of scale too. But, at least someone took the time to make them look realistic.
If you don’t believe me…here are some reference pics…including a cool WWII advertisement that featured the Corsair.
These things were BIG! OURS? Not so much…
But, that isn’t half as galling as the way the writers are dealing with our town’s newest golfer!
Lee Carvallo is loosely based on real life golfer Lee Trevino. Except he isn’t remotely like the REAL Lee. Lee Trevino is not only one of the greatest players to play the game, but so completely the opposite of the one-dimensional dud that is Lee Carvallo, as to be laughable. In fact…getting laughs, while winning a ton of golf tournaments was Trevino’s trademark.
Even Wikipedia things so!
“Throughout his career, Trevino was seen as approachable and humorous, and was frequently quoted by the press. Late in his career, he remarked, “I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.
At the beginning of Trevino’s 1971 U.S. Open playoff against Jack Nicklaus, he threw a rubber snake that his daughter had put in his bag as a joke, at Nicklaus, who later admitted that he asked Trevino to throw it to him so he could see it. Trevino grabbed the rubbery object and playfully tossed it at Nicklaus, getting a scream from a nearby woman and a hearty laugh from Nicklaus. Trevino shot a 68 to defeat Nicklaus by three strokes.
During one tournament, Tony Jacklin, paired with Trevino, said: “Lee, I don’t want to talk today.” Trevino retorted: “I don’t want you to talk. I just want you to listen.
After he was struck by lightning at the 1975 Western Open, Trevino was asked by a reporter what he would do if he were out on the course and it began to storm again. Trevino answered he would take out his 1 iron and point it to the sky, “because not even God can hit the 1-iron.” Trevino said later in an interview with David Feherty that he must have tempted God the week before by staying outside during a lightning delay to entertain the crowds, saying “I deserved to get hit…God can hit a 1-iron.”
Trevino said: “I’ve been hit by lightning and been in the Marine Corps for four years. I’ve traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There’s not anything I’m scared of except my wife.”
Funny stuff… and he is STILL one of the most beloved guys in golf…especially with all of the super-serious, whiners that on the tour these days!
So…I’m not enjoying the way they have made the TSTO version even more boring than Kent Brockman! And to make matters worse…he is voiced. Milhouse isn’t voiced…but Lee Carvallo is??? Whatthefreakinhell???
Look…I get it. I’m old. But being old also has the advantage of remembering the way things were. And let me tell you…I have NO desire to go back to the “good old days.” Because…they sucked. It seems like the current political scene has a “we’ve been here before” vibe to it (as in the era of Tricky Dick). But, the fact is, 50 years ago was way, way, way worse than today. Look it up. I’m not going to go through the litany of riots and assassinations that came along with 1968.
But there was one event that seemed to make us all forget our troubles for a while, at the very tail-end of 1968. And with all of the time-travel, and looking back, the EA writers missed it.
On December 21st 1968, at the end of one of the worst year’s in our nation’s history…we got a reminder of how fragile, and amazing our “life on this planet” really is. It was the Apollo 8 mission, the first to circumnavigate the moon, and the mission that gave us the iconic photo, “Earth-rise” shot from the command module as it came around the “dark side of the moon.”
This single photo it is said, was responsible for launching a wide range of ecology and preservation programs in the ensuing years. So clearly did it make the point of the fragility of our “blue marble” (and put to bed the flat-earth society), that for at least a short time, we all realized our place here…and our seeming insignificance to the greater reaches of the universe.
Ironically, on the 50th anniversary of this mission, NASA is shut down, along with a ton of the government, over a wall that would cover not an eyelash thickness in this picture…but I digress.
This community is a nice respite from the day-to-day, and for that I am sincerely thankful.
And by the time you read this, I will have landed in New Jersey for an 11-day trip to see my “East Coast Family” (as well as Alissa) and get some serious “full-baby-immersion” time with Jake, my youngest grandson. Deb is going with me this time, and we will undoubtedly have to set a timer to see who gets to hold/play with him next.
I have no regrets about being 65, and where I am today. And let’s be honest about it…I’ve had a pretty damn wonderful life. So, whining about Lee, or the size of Aircraft Carriers in our game may seem picayune and silly. But hey…that’s the best part of being old. I have time to whine…
OK. I’m off to catch a nap before we head to bed for a 3A wakeup call to catch our plane! Have a wonderful “rest of 2018.” 2019 has to be better. It just has to be.
Happy New Year to you! Happy Birthday to me! The Grandpa and Grandma Day Care is Open for Business!
Nice little piece of digress in there Patrick :), hope you had a great time with your family.
Lee Trevino is truly one of a kind and a man of the people. I had the honor of driving him around a bit when I volunteered at a Senior PGA event and the man literally never stops – keeping me in stitches the entire ride. Always self effacing, he would truly appreciate the ironic parody of his video game character. Lest we also not forget another great Mexican golfer and personality – Chi-Chi Rodriguez. I’ll never forget his saber/sword flourish with every under par putt sunk.
Have a very Happy Birthday and New Year Patric and treasure the time with your young grand kiddos. And stay cranky/uncompromising – we’ve earned that right with age, have we not?
Happy birthday Patric! Have a wonderful time with the grandkids!
Patric, I think the humor might be escaping you. Yes, Carvallo is obviously based on Trevino, but not the actual golfer (who I loved to watch). Carvallo is a satire of the Trevino character (aka Super Mex, one of Trvino’s actual nicknames) in the odd Japanese video game title, Fighting Golf, and if you aware of the title, and how bizarre it is (though maybe not entirely for its time, circa late 80s), then the character and quest line are absolutely hilarious.
Sorry. Too complicated. Lol!
Oh, c’mon. S7e11: Bart’s playing Putting Challenge and doing the opposite of Carvallo’s every suggestion. Then he tries to four-finger discount Bonestorm, and that’s why Brodka’s in this campaign too… yeah, it’s not as funny when it has to be explained. But wait! S7e11 – get it 7/11… nope, still not as funny. Oh, well, happy birthday, and safe travels.
Really enjoyed this post, Patric. Enjoy your time with those adorable grandchildren and have a wonderful birthday! I hope 65 brings all sorts of fabulous discounts!
Happy New Year and Happy Birthday Patric 😊! I hope that 2019 is the best ever for you and your family. Happy New Year everyone!
Happy Birthday / Happy New Year Patric!👍
I didn’t want another Mini Golf (my old fart rants is regarding redundancy – as in EA thinking I was going to spend 🍩’s on another Building I already have that pays out $ and XP with a permanent Character Task!) 😂
You will win the argument regarding Scale used in this Game App (Buildings, Cars, Boats, Decor – there is no consistency and not even my AARP Card can help me!) 😂
My saving grace is that this year’s Christmas Event is easy, grind free, stress free, loaded with Premiums (I literally can take the weekend off from tapping and not miss anything), but is definitely missing out on celebrating landmarks of 1968 (Apollo 8 is a perfect example!) 🤷🏼♂️
I’m trying not to think about what a “cluster something something” our current administration is causing courtesy of commander-in-chief Cheeto (hopefully that will be a distant memory when he’s gone?). I am hoping that Common Sense will prevail aka that same Common Sense I wish EA sometimes would utilize. 😉
You are really carriering on, aren’t you?
🎂Happy birthday Patrick🎂
🍾And a healthy, happy New Year 🍾
Happy New Year and Happy Birthday Patric – your boys are beautiful, and are so lucky to have a Grandpa that can tell them stories just like your Simpsons counterpart. Always insightful and entertaining. Keep on digressing !
Cute picture Pat! 😊
Good sir Patric,
This was really, really well-written. I was happy, sad, confused, and laughed- out-lould from your story here. Have a happy happy new year!
-JJ
PS-At the end of the Simpsons episode with ‘Carvello’, I always laugh at the computerized voice thy use for his video game persona…”I am Carvello.”
Happy birthday, Patric! I sure appreciate your humor and enlightening writings. All the best to you and your family!
Patric, is your birthday on Dec 31 or on Jan 1?
1st
New Year’s Day…
The Corsair is my favorite plane from that era as well. There’s one hanging from the ceiling at the WW2 museum in New Orleans. I stared at it for like 10 minutes when I first saw it. I’ve must’ve built at least 5 models of that plane when I was a kid. My dad and I used to watch the Black Sheep Squadron and the first time I saw that plane I was in love with it. Those wings and the blue color is just beautiful. I was disappointed in the carrier too. Not because of the scale, but because there’s no animation, or none that I’ve seen. Anyway, happy birthday, and Patric….65 ain’t old.
65 is old… but that’s fine! “Middle age” left in the my 40s…unless I am going to live to be 130…
Is he the golfer in Happy Gilmore?
I think that was Adam Sandler.
No….the pro looking guy who mostly just shakes his head. And says Grizzly Adams did have a beard. Lol
Yes, Lee Trevino did play himself in Happy Gilmore!👍
~MIB👤
Happy Birthday!!!
Mr. Trevino. A great golfer and a great personality his legend will live forever.
I’d like to toss another hat in that ring. As far as entertainment value goes
(on and off course) Miguel Jimenez is my favourite.
Good call , Jimenez is a great character on & off the course. As for Trevino he would probably have a good laugh if he saw this reference to himself, got to be tongue in cheek from EA.