Friday Filler – Optimism -VS- Pragmatism

Thank Grog It’s Firday!

Ah…another week of insanity. But, we aren’t going to go there.  The fact is, these days, you can’t even tell where “there” is, let alone actually “go there.”

Like so many things in life, it seems that those who are mostly optimistic have a life that is simply easier, and perhaps even beneficial to living longer. In fact, a recent study published last month, states that  “individuals with greater optimism are more likely to live longer and to achieve exceptional longevity, that is, living to age 85 or older.”

Now, THAT’S an optimistic view of optimism.

I would argue, that if one isn’t pragmatic, there is a good chance that one may not live to be 85, because you may be inclined to do something stupid, that cuts your life short. But, the experts don’t seem to agree. I’m guessing the experts are all women. Which I’ll get to in a minute…

This battle between the “glass half full” and “the glass needs to be washed” crew here at TSTO Addicts became evident once again, as Safi, Alissa and I gave our opinions about the “Future of the Game” during our Addicts Live taping (which airs Tomorrow, Live on Video).

I do wish that I had the capacity to be more of a “Bliss Ninny,” in life.  I think I WOULD be happier if I could ignore most of what goes on around me. But, I’m not. So I can’t. And because of that, I am branded as “cranky.”

Where do YOU fall in this debate?  Let’s take a little Pop-Quiz to find out…

But, before we get to the quiz (and yes…warning you, and then taking a break takes some of the “pop” out of the Pop Quiz), I do want to talk a bit more about this study.

First, I want to applaud the researchers from Boston University School of Medicine (BUSM), National Center for PTSD at VA Boston Healthcare System and Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health.  If it weren’t for them, and the undoubtedly millions of dollars spent on this research, we would never have known that “happy people are more likely to live longer.” (you can read the report of their study HERE).

An Optimist, would look at that last part of the paragraph and say, “That makes me happy!  I’m going to live longer!!” A Pragmatist would immediately seize upon the phrase, “more likely,” and give you a long list of old people they know who are miserable.

And, what is the deal with calling 85 and older, “exceptional longevity?” If you go to the “World Data Website” and look up “Life Expectancy,” you’ll find that if you live in the United States, and you are a female, your life expectancy is 81.1 years old.  If you are a male, it is only 76.1 years old. If I am reading this right, and combine this data with the “Happiness Study,”  all women must be Optimists and all men must be Pragmatists. 

As a man that has raised five daughters, and currently lives with a wife, I think the statistics speak for themselves.  Just the simple reality of living with women may in fact shorten one’s life. Unless you are a woman…at which point, your optimism may simply drive the pragmatic male in the family to be so worn down from trying to understand their optimism, that they simply give up and check out early.

Or…it could be the other fact, that men don’t go to the doctor enough…and do all sorts of stupid “manly things” like deep frying a turkey at a family function or a tailgate party. Here is video proof of what happens when an otherwise pragmatic guy, lets optimism overrule common sense, and his life may be cut short.

This guy may also have been influenced by the fact that he was drinking his “game day drink” from the huge football helmet in the foreground.

So…yes…optimists (women) may live longer. But, apparently WHERE you live also comes into play. And, as a US citizen, I am not proud to announce that the United States ranks 44th…as far as longevity.  44th!!!!  I guess being “the most powerful nation on earth” takes a toll. And, having loads of 24-hour News Channels, constantly reporting what we are doing wrong, may also have something to do with it. But, I digress…

Where you live, also seems to have an outcome on how long you live. The top five places where people live the longest, includes a country that I had never heard of before, the country of  Macao.  (any readers from Macao??)

Macao sounds like an appetizer you get before a main course of deep fried squid (which you should ALSO NOT deep free in a huge cooker at a tailgate party).  But, it’s not. It’s a country, in East Asia…with only 631,000 people in it. That’s less people than go through the Holland Tunnel in the first two hours of a commute to NYC. No wonder they are happy. Oh. Wait. I don’t know if they are happy or not...they just live longer. 

See? That’s the pragmatic side of me coming out.

But, when I look at the top five countries, there is no way I want to live in 4 of them. Sorry, Macao. But, Hong Kong, Switzerland, Japan, Macao, Italy have almost NOTHING in common…except that people live longer there, and I mostly don’t want to live there. And HONG KONG is NUMBER ONE??? Have you seen the latest news from Hong Kong???  Sheesh…I won’t live to be “exceptional” if I keep watching the news from Hong Kong.

I’m pragmatic about “exceptional long life” because I am the son of a mother who is currently 87, and hasn’t started off a conversation with anything but, “I’m so mad!” or “I had another awful day!” or “Well…the weather is…” every time I call, for the last 20 years. Oh…and then there is the fact that almost every male in our family croaks at the age of 80…which is older than the average of 76…but clearly not as good as 87. So, there’s that. Maybe it comes down to the old, “quality of live -vs-quantity of life,” argument. But, we can save that for another time. 

So, it seems that if I really want to “live to an exceptional age,” I need to move to the African nation of Lesotho, where the life expectancy of a male is only 49.8 years old (any readers from Lesotho??) . So, at 65, I would not only be “exceptional,” I’d be freakin’ ancient!!! But, I digress again.

Let’s Get to the QUIZ

1. When pouring a glass of orange juice, do you think…
   a. I only want half a glass because I am also having coffee
   b. It’s very nice that my husband bought orange juice
   c. Dammit! I really wanted cran-apple juice, but she likes orange juice!
2. With all that is going on around the world right now do you…
   a. Watch at least 4 hours of cable news a day
   b. Only glance at the headlines of the newspaper
   c. Only watch sitcom reruns from the 1980s
   d. Only read Google News headlines, while hiding in the closet under the stairs, and sipping the cran-apple juice you hid there.
3. When you are driving on a busy highway, do you…
   a. Scream at the other drivers as if they can hear you
   b. Laugh at the bumper stickers on the car in front of you
   c. Scream as you realize that you are rear-ending the car in front of you that you got too close to, while trying to read their bumper stickers.
4. As a player of TSTO, are you OPTIMISTIC or PRAGMATIC about the next update?
   a. I think that the current update is just a teaser, and the REAL THOH update is going to be amazing!!!
   b. I have become a bit “meh” about the game, but really hope that the THOH update is good enough to get me back in the game.
   c. What’s TSTO???

Take your time. After all…if you are a woman, you have LOADS more time to do things in life than men do.

And remember….if you “Want to Go There” and want to hear CrankyOldGuy’s slant on the latest headlines, and life in general…
Go to: www.crankyoldguy.com and sign up to get email notices when I post. Which I just did. So go there.

The Answer Key to the Pop Quiz is Below

The CORRECT ANSWER TO THE QUESTIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS…

1. When pouring a glass of orange juice, do you think…
   Answer- Seriously???  You are still drinking orange juice for breakfast?  Haven’t you read all of the studies that drinking pure cranberry juice is way better than orange juice, because of all of the anti-oxidants, and that cranberries are packed with nutrients to help your body ward off infections and boost overall health. In fact, throughout history, they’ve been used to treat: urinary issues, upset stomach and liver problems.
   
   This picture shows from Right to Left: Mango Juice, Cranberry Juice, Orange Juice, and what appears to be a liquid that may or may not be recycled versions of the first three. If you are being forced to drink orange juice, your wife it  trying to kill you with the rush of added sugar to your diet, which will likely send you into a diabetic coma, as she dances around you lifeless body, yelling “and THIS is why I’ll live to be 87 and you won’t!!!!”
2. With all that is going on around the world right now do you…
   Answer- start your own blog called www.crankyoldguy.com so you can release the insane amount of tension and stress that has built up from watching even 5 minutes of news headlines. However, YOU THE READER can’t do this…because I already did…and the domain name is mine, mine, all mine!!!
3. When you are driving on a busy highway, do you…
   Answer- Who in the hell still has bumper stickers on their car?? Oh…wait…the idiots who have taken to putting “stick figures” of their whole family, and all of their pets, on the back window of the SUV that is driving erratically in front of you, because the idiot Mom is texting, while she is trying to give a juice box to the kids in the back seat, while the dog eats the scone for which she just spent $9 at Starbucks.  PULL OVER LADY!!!!!!!
4. As a player of TSTO, are you OPTIMISTIC or PRAGMATIC about the next update?
   Answer- No. No, I do not think that the THOH update is going to be the best update ever.  In fact, I will be surprised if it is more than just a bunch of retreads and leftovers from past THOH events…like the current mini-update we have right now…which is part of the opening of the 2015 THOH Simpson’s episode.  And according to the writers, that would actually make me a PESSIMIST...so there’s that.

So now…as a PRAGMATIST...I am going to go back to my secret hiding place under the stairs, and see if I can book a flight to Macao before the election madness really gets into full swing.  I hear that they serve cranberry juice there, along with their deep-fried squid.