Christmas 2019 (Abe’s in Toyland): Full Dialogue Week 1, Claus and Son

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

It’s finally Christmas in Springfield!  Our pocket-sized Springfields have been covered with a fresh blanket of snow!  What’s in store for us this time?  Well, we’re tasked with seeing if Grampa can bore Death…well to death!

Now that we’re wrapping up week 1 of the event, it’s time to look back at the dialogue.  Just in case you missed it by tappin’ too fast…

Abes in Toyland Intro
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Grampa: Hey, everyone, it’s Christmas Eve, and time for my favorite tradition… Telling you one of my amazing stories of Christmas past.
Bart: But first, time for one of *our* favorite traditions…Going to bed instead of wasting time on one of your rambling stories.
Homer: Don’t worry Dad, there’ll be lots of time for your stories tomorrow. Like when I’m watching football and ignoring you.
Grampa: *heads to guest room* Aw, what’s the point of living if no one wants to hear me talk.
Death: Glad you feel that way. Because your time has come, Abraham Simpson!
Make Death Terrify Grampa- 6s, Earns $35, 1xp
Grampa: That’d be like taking a girl who’s never been kissed, or a cop who never beat a witness.
Death: Fine, tell your story. I hate people who whine for mercy.
Grampa: In that case, you picked a heck of a business.
Death: But the fates have decreed you must die before Christmas morn. So no rambling.
Grampa: Oh, I never ramble.

Act 1

Claus And Son Pt. 1
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Grampa: Let me tell you the story of how I’ve saved Christmas. Then you can do your worst.
Death: Great, because my worst is really bad.
Grampa: It was the dark days of the Great Depression. By which I mean, Christmas at my father’s house.

Baby Abe: Papa, do you want to read my letter to Santa?
Orville: No six-year-old son of mine is getting free presents from some fatso. You’ll earn them the way I did: cleaning outhouses.
Make Grampa Clean the Outhouse- 4hrs
Collect Holiday Scythes- x50.

Claus And Son Pt. 2
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Death: Your father sounds like the kind of person I enjoy giving a really painful heart attack.
Grampa: He was just doing the best he could with his terrible personality. But then Santa sent me help.

Baby Abe: *opens door* Are you one of Santa’s elves?
Happy Little Elf Leopold: That’s right, kid. Santa sent me with something to improve your dad’s mood. Just pour this bottled elf magic on your dad’s dinner and it’ll cheer him right up. You can trust me, kid. I’m Santa’s elf, right?
Make Grampa Sprinkle Elf Magic on Chopped Ham- 4hrs
Collect Holiday Scythes- x100

Claus And Son Pt. 3
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Orville: Wow, this chopped ham dinner is really going to my head. I don’t feel myself at all.
Baby Abe: Papa, do you want to build a snowman?
Orville: Why sure! And then let’s dance a jig and give shoes to orphans.
Baby Abe: The bottled elf magic worked! It gave Papa the Christmas spirit.
Orville: Speaking of spirits, why does my dinner smell like grain alcohol? I don’t feel so good. I think I’m going to deck the walls with barfs of hammy.
Make Grampa Feel Hopeful About the Holidays- 4hrs
Collect Holiday Scythes- x100

Claus And Son Pt. 4
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Santa Claus: Ho, ho, ho, here comes Santa down the chimney. Now, bring me some Christmas pie!
Baby Abe: Papa, look! Santa came and he brought his elf.
Orville: That’s not Santa, ya clod! It’s a hobo in a red bag. And a tiny hobo in a green hat. They’ve come to steal our pies!
Baby Abe: No, it’s Santa and the elf. They gave me bottled elf magic.
Orville: You’re hallucinating, boy! That was grain alcohol and sterno!
Make Grampa Argue with his Dad About Santa- 4hrs
Collect Holiday Scythes- x100

Claus And Son Pt. 5
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Santa Claus: I’m sorry, Abe, but your father simply refuses to believe in Christmas.
Happy Little Elf Leopold: The only thing to do is lock him in his room until Christmas is over.
Orville: It’s a trick, son! The hobos are taking advantage of your childish belief in Santa. Like all hobos, they just want our pies!
Baby Abe: Poor Daddy. Don’t you know Santa would never lie?
Make Grampa Eat Pie with Santa- 4hrs
Collect Holiday Scythes- x100

And with that you’ve completed week 1!

Thoughts on the first week?  Did you finish the prize track? Ready for week 2?  Thoughts on the event in general?  Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!