Holidays of Future Past Main Questline Full Dialogue

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Now that the Holidays of Future Past event is officially in its final hours…ends tomorrow at 10am…it’s time to take a look back at the dialogue of this event!  Just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…

Homer for the Holidays
Marge starts

Marge: 3…2…1…Happy New Year!
Homer: Okay, now let’s open the next year’s champagne!
Bart: Quiet! I’m Facetiming my friends on vacation in Hawaii and I don’t want to spoil New Year’s for them!
Lisa: Ugh, this family never changes. Mom went overboard decorating, Dad’s drunk, and Bart’s a jerk.
Marge: Lisa’s right. A little bit of a try-hard, but right. This year we’re all making New Year’s resolutions!
Make the Simpsons Make New Year’s Resolutions- x3. 6s, Earns $35, 1xp Freemium, $50, 2xp Premium
Homer: I’ll stop drinking and help out around here!
Marge: I’ll try to relax more and not do so much housework!
Lisa: I’m going to become more popular at school!
Bart: And I’ll tell people what they want to hear to get them off my back.
Marge: Bart!
Bart: Fine. I’ll try to do better in school.
Lisa: If we stick to these resolutions, just imagine how amazing our lives could be…

Holidays of Future Past Pt. 1
Auto starts

Retired Homer: The fifty-one weeks of the Christmas season are over! I’ve gotta clean the house so I can hang the New Year’s Eve decorations for a few hours before putting the Christmas stuff back up.
Empty Nest Marge: Not so fast, Homie. I still have the last of the Christmas Duffs to drink!
President Lisa: Don’t worry, Dad, I’ll help you — after I hang with my friends at the hoverboard park.
Mooch Bart: I would help, but I’ve got to get down to the Robo-Homer factory. One of my workers accidentally typed “ROB-O-HOMER” and the assembly line is making robots that mug people.
Make Homer Clean Up the House- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Make Marge Drink and Watch Daytime TV- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Make Bart Run his Company- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/Mooch Bart- $420, 105xp
Make Lisa Go Hoverboarding with the Cool Kids- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/President Lisa- $420, 105xp
Collect Holiday Decorations- x50.
Empty Nest Marge: Homie, you’re working too hard, I’m worried about you!
Retired Homer: It’s not so bad, Marge. When people call it “back-breaking labor”, they’re just being– *CRACK* Never mind.
Empty Nest Marge: We can’t go on like this! You and Bart work too hard, Lisa cares more about being cool than being with her family, and I’m a drunk mess!
Retired Homer: You’re right! When we decided to better ourselves all those years ago, we ruined our lives. Let’s make resolutions right now to reverse our old resolutions. New New Year’s Resolution Resolutions!

Holidays of Future Past Pt. 2
Marge starts

Empty Nest Marge: You relax and drink the rest of the Christmas Duffs. You only have to finish off these two cases. I’ll take care of the cleaning.
Retired Homer: I used to polish off two cases in my sleep! Which wasn’t good, since I did most of my sleeping while driving.
Empty Nest Marge: Hmm, the instructions for this Robo-Homer Home-Cleaning Robot are complicated. Does this button start it?
Robot Homer: MUST… TERMINATE… SIMPSONS!
Empty Nest Marge: D’oh!
Make Homer Have Adverse Reaction to Sober-Up- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/Retired Homer- $420, 105xp
Make Marge Flee Murderous Robo-Homer- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/Empty-Nest Marge- $420, 105xp
Collect Holiday Decorations- x100.
Empty Nest Marge: I’m glad the charge ran out of that robot so fast. But I’m mad our son makes such a crappy product!
Retired Homer: Ugh, too much beer. I better take some of Marge’s Sober-Up pills. Wait, this doesn’t feel right…
Gelatinous Homer: I don’t feel so good.

Holidays of Future Past Pt. 3
(Mooch) Bart starts

Mooch Bart: Mom and Dad gave up on their resolutions? They didn’t raise us to be quitters!
President Lisa: Those resolutions are the only thing our family has ever stuck to. Remember when we all went on the “paleo diet”?
Mooch Bart: Eating like cavemen, what were we thinking?! Pass me one of those genetically modified glowing super-grapes.
President Lisa: Maybe Mom and Dad are onto something. We were a lot happier back then…
Mooch Bart: The only thing I had to worry about was detention from Skinner. Now I have to worry about eviction notices from Skinner.
President Lisa: I’m going to go back to the way I used to be too! Hard work, no friends, and crippling anxiety, here I come!
Make Bart Embarrass Himself Trying to Hoverboard – 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/Mooch Bart- $420, 105xp
Make Lisa Accidentally Set Factory on Fire- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/President Lisa- $420, 105xp
Collect Holiday Decorations- x100.
Milhouse: Lisa, I told you that’s not how the assembly controls work!
President Lisa: Get bent, twerp!
Milhouse: Wow, you’re talking to me again!

Holidays of Future Past Pt. 4
(President) Lisa starts

President Lisa: I accidentally set Bart’s factory on fire. The old me never would’ve let that happen…
Empty Nest Marge: Those robots are short-circuiting and burning people’s houses down, so you actually did a good thing.
President Lisa: Still, I can’t believe I’ve changed so much.
Empty Nest Marge: Why don’t you try reading a good book like you used to? Here, I found this in the attic.
President Lisa: “Necronomicon”? I don’t remember my books being so old or evil-sounding, but I’ll give it a shot!
Empty Nest Marge: I’m going to do some real cleaning – I know, I’ll dust Homer’s bottle rocket ships! What could go wrong?
Make Marge Accidentally Break Homer’s Bottle Rocket Ships- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/Empty-Nest Marge- $420, 105xp
Make Lisa Accidentally Summon Cthulhu- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/President Lisa- $420, 105xp
Collect Holiday Decorations- x250.
Retired Homer: My bottle rocket ships!
Empty Nest Marge: Relax, I just emptied out some new bottles for ya! *burp!*
Cthulhu: Why the hell am I back in this dump?

Holidays of Future Past Pt. 5
(Mooch) Bart starts

Mooch Bart: Face facts, Dad, we’ve changed too much to turn back into our old selves!
Retired Homer: I’m not giving up. If anyone can help me quit quitting drinking, it’s the gang at Moe’s!
Mooch Bart: Yeah! And now that we’re here, I’ll tag the side of the building, just like old times!
Robot Homer: Guess who’s the new bouncer here, pal.
Mooch Bart: Aw, crap.
Make Homer Bum Out Everyone at Moe’s- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/Retired Homer- $420, 105xp
Make Bart Get Beat Up by a Robo-Homer- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp/Mooch Bart- $420, 105xp
Collect Holiday Decorations- x400.  4hrs.
Empty Nest Marge: Trying to do work is a lot of work! I’m gonna go lie down in my hammock.
Mooch Bart: Change is painful!
President Lisa: I told you we’re fine the way we are! No one ever sticks to resolutions anyway.
Retired Homer: I guess you’re right.
Cthulhu: You guys brought me back for this?!

Irresolutely Resolved
Lisa starts

Lisa: Does anyone else have a bad feeling about these resolutions?
Marge: You want to quit already?
Homer: C’mon, Lisa, I’ve already started to clean up these beer bottles.
Lisa: You’re just drinking the beer out of them!
Homer: I’m *cleaning* the beer out of them.
Make the Simpsons Give Up on Resolutions- x2. 6hrs, Earns $350, 90xp
Marge: Homer, give me that mop — you’re using the wrong end! …and you’re using it to pet the dog.
Lisa: I hate to say it, but maybe this family isn’t meant to change.
Bart: So we’re just supposed to stay the same year after year?
Lisa: It’s not like we’ll be stuck like this forever.
Disco Stu: Yeah, don’t be such a drag, man. Everyone around here changes! Far out, groovy, etc!

And that’s it my friends!  What are your thoughts on the questline?  Dialogue? Thoughts on the mini-event?  Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!