Simpsons Wrestling Full Dialogue Act 1: Enter the Golden Ring

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Update time in Springfield!  We’re all getting antsy sitting at home, so it’s nice to have an update to focus on! What’s in store for us this time? Well, it’s time for Burns and Aristotle Amadopolis to have yet another clash of tapping proportions! Loads of dialogue with this one, so be sure to read along to see what happens! And of course, I’ll be posting it as each week wraps up…

Now that we’re wrapping up Act 1 of the event, it’s time to look back at the dialogue.  Just in case you missed it by tappin’ too fast…

Wrestling With Success
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Mr. Burns: What a sad little imp.  I hope the sadness is from something I did.
Bart: I wish.  This is worse than anything you could do.
Mr. Burns: You insult me.
Bart: World Class Wrestling has gone bankrupt!
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I smell something delicious.
Smithers: I did mix your Bengay with VapoRub.
Mr. Burns: No, I smell opportunity!  Purchase this wrestling company at once.
Make Mr. Burns Purchase the Wrestling Company- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Make Bart Celebrate that Wrestling is Back- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Mr. Burns: Hence-here-for-after-forward World Class Wrestling shall be known as… Golden Ring Wrestling!  In honor of the rings I’ve taken from my adversaries’ gravesites.
Smithers: Sir, that seems very wrong.
Mr. Burns: Shut up and have a golden ring!

Enter the Golden Ring Pt. 1
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Smithers: Sir, your Golden Ring Wrestling is a hit!
Burns: Yes, I’ve combined the old with the new.  Like that young kidney I had transplanted to work alongside my own. Now it’s time for my aged wrestlers to give me new life by making me money!
Make Burns Order Wrestlers to Promote His Businesses- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Collect Feather Boas- x175. 4hrs, Earns 5 Freemium, 8 Premium. Can send:
Homer
Marge
Bart
Lisa
Grampa
Burns
Smithers
Moe
Prof. Werner von Brawn (Premium)

Prof Werner von Brawn: *reading* “After I work up a sweat in the ring — I hit the showers with nuclear power!”
Rumbleina: *reading* “Burns’ Root-Rot Defoliant Body Slams plants dead!”
Captain Flag: Mr. Burns, shilling for your business enterprises has left me less red and white and more blue.
Burns: Just read the cue card, solider!
Captain Flag: Yes, sir. Following orders, sir.

Enter the Golden Ring Pt. 2
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Bart: I thought having wrestling back would be awesome, but all they do is hawk Burns’ businesses.
Milhouse: I bought fifty gallons of Burns’ defoliant and I’ve got nothing to defole!
Iron Yuppie: *interrupts* Listen up, Springfield! Golden Ring Wrestling is dead! SEW — Springfield Elite Wrestling has been born! Hailing from parts unknown, we got Alex Ace, Crystal Axe, and me, the IRON YUPPIE! We’re badder, we’re bolder, and our tights are TIGHTER!
Make Bart be Skeptical of Springfield Elite Wrestling- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Make Springfielders Flock to Springfield Elite Wrestling- x5. 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp Freemium and $600, 150xp Premium
Collect Feather Boas- x100. 4hrs, Earns 5 Freemium, 8 Premium. Can send:
Homer
Marge
Bart
Lisa
Grampa
Burns
Smithers
Moe
Prof. Werner von Brawn (Premium)
Bart: Do these freaks really expect to have fans with their fake body blows and blood?!
Homer: Woohoo! Elite Wrestling is EXTREME wrestling!
Lenny: And Elite sounds classy.  It’s like caviar on hotdogs!
Carl: We’re climbin’ the social ladder with fancy Choke Slams and Neck Crushers! Whooo! SEW for life!
Bart: Ugh.

Enter the Golden Ring Pt. 3
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Burns: Smithers, why is no one fawning over MY wrestlers?
Smithers: Sorry, sir. Golden Ring attendance is down forty percent.  People are more in love with SEW.
Burns: I’ve never understood “love”.
Smithers: I could teach you.
Burns: That’s a waste of time! Teach me who’s behind this wrestling invasion instead!
Make Smithers Investigate Springfield Elite Wrestling- 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Make Bart Be Disgusted with SEW- 4hrs, $175, 45xp
Collect Feather Boas-  x175. 4hrs, Earns 5 Freemium, 8 Premium. Can send:
Homer
Marge
Bart
Lisa
Grampa
Burns
Smithers
Moe
Prof. Werner von Brawn (Premium)
Burns: So who is it, Smithers? A nouveau riche smark? Some corporate carpetbagger? A lucha libre lothario?
Aristotle: It’s just me, Monty!
Burns: *gasp!* Aristotle Amadopolis, my old nemesis!

Enter the Golden Ring Pt. 4
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Burns: Muscling in on my wrestling turf, Amadopolis? I won’t have it!
Aristotle: Don’t go nuclear, Monty! Play your cards right and we can both put some serious jingle in our pants.
Burns: My artificial hip already jingles. But tell me, what do you have in mind?
Aristotle: A unification Super Slam!
Make Mr. Burns Agree to Unification Super Slam- 2hrs, Earns $110, 27xp
Make Aristotle Amadopolis Agree to Unification Super Slam- 2hrs, Earns $175, 40xp
Collect Feather Boas-  x125. 4hrs, Earns 5 Freemium, 8 Premium. Can send:
Homer
Marge
Bart
Lisa
Grampa
Burns
Smithers
Moe
Prof. Werner von Brawn (Premium)
Aristotle: It’s simple: It will be a supreme Springfield cross-promotion — your wrestlers facing mine. The belt going to the winner of the title bout!
Burns: But I want my man to win.
Aristotle: And he will! For a price — your beloved golden statue of Glamourous Godfrey.
Burns: Fix the match? Such a thing has a never been done in the history of professional wrestling!

Enter the Golden Ring Pt. 5
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Burns: I gave up my prized statue of Glamourous Godfrey, but it will ensure victory for GRW and myself! Captain Flag, as a patriot and Power-Slammer, I salute you. Thank you for participating in a tawdry, rigged match.
Captain Flag: A solider-wrestler always follows orders, sir.
Burns: Good solider.  Now all my wrestlers must begin training for the Super Slam immediately!
Make Mr. Burns Exhort Wrestlers to Train Harder- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Collect Feather Boas-  x125. 4hrs, Earns 5 Freemium, 8 Premium. Can send:
Homer
Marge
Bart
Lisa
Grampa
Burns
Smithers
Moe
Prof. Werner von Brawn (Premium)
Burns: I said “Train!”, you gargantuan gogmagogs!
PWvB: Why train? We know we are going to win.
Rasputin: Da, Comrade Burns. We are masters of kayfabe.
Burns: I will set Kayfabe straight.  For I am your master!
Rasputin: No, kayfabe is the art of making stage performances real.
Burns: I see. Then kayfabe away!

And this concludes Act 1, of the Simpsons Wrestling Event!

Thoughts on the first Act?  Dialogue? Ready for Act 2?  Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!