Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
IMPORTANT NOTE: Act 2 is slated to start TOMORROW, August 21st. Act 1 isn’t going anywhere, so if you didn’t finish it you’ll still have time to. Look for Act 2 to start around 11am ET. (1500 UTC)
You’ll need Annika and Milhouse free for the first round of tasks (and those earning event currency). Also, 1 new premium character combo will be released. 150 donuts for the combo.
Now on with the full dialogue for Act 1…
Claim to Fame
Auto starts
Milhouse: Hey Bart, let’s go to my house. A bunch of my relatives are in town for my birthday party this weekend.
Bart: That sounds great! But you know what sounds even greater? We go to MY house and finish planning my latest Skinner prank.
Milhouse: But Bart, my pretty cousin Annika is back in town. *wink*
Bart: As tempting as that sounds to my pre-tween hormones — whatever they are — you’re forgetting the banana pecking order. Of which you are most certainly second.
Milhouse: Oh, okay. You know I’m a sucker for fruit prioritization.
Make Milhouse Go to Bart’s House- 6s
Make Bart Show Milhouse His Plans- 6s
Birthday Party for One Pt. 1
Auto starts
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. This prank looks like an ordinary crowbar.
Bart: It is an ordinary crowbar, doofus. The prank is in this crate I found behind Professor Frink’s lab marked “W.M.H.”
Milhouse: What’s W.M.H.?
Bart: Weapons of Mass Humiliation. At least I hope that’s what it means. Anyway, give me that crowbar.
Milhouse: You’re not gonna hit me with it, are you?
Bart: No, I’m going to open the crate!
Milhouse: *hands over crowbar*
Bart: Then I’m gonna hit you with it.
Make Milhouse Hand Bart a Crowbar- 4hrs
Make Bart Prepare His Latest Prank- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x115.
Birthday Party for One Pt. 2
Auto starts
Skinner: Alright, children, march into your classrooms. Single file, Indi——uh, indi-genous-people-don’t-find-the-comparison-insensitive style.
Bart: Hey Skinner, look over here.
Skinner: What is that, Simpson? A contraption? A gadget? Or some sort of gizmo?
Bart: Just a little extracurricular science experiment.
Skinner: It better not be for the science fair. I cut that out of the budget last year—AAGGHHH!
Make Bart Activate the Go-Go Ray- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Laugh Hysterically- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x95.
Skinner: I can’t stop dancing! And we definitely don’t have the budget for a school dance!
Milhouse: Your Go-Go Ray is a hit, Bart! Even the bullies are impressed!
Jimbo: A modern classic!
Kearney: Magnifique!
Nelson: Haw haw… HAW!
Milhouse: Three haws? Now’s my chance to take advantage of an unprecedented era of good feelings. Attention please! Come one, come all to a birthday extravaganza. All are welcome!
Skinner: I can’t feel my legs! Oh, why did I cut the funding for the school nurse?
Birthday Party for One Pt. 3
Auto starts
Bart: Happy Birthday, Milhouse!
Milhouse: Thanks, Bart. Great party, huh?
Bart: Not really. All I see are Van Houtens. It’s like a sea of blue hair and big noses.
Milhouse: Well, it makes the face painter’s job easy.
Bart: But where are all the kids?
Milhouse: They should be here soon. They’re probably all on twenty-four hour jobs.
Bart: Maybe. Anyway, I’m gonna hit the corndog cart hard and make that bounce house wish it’d never been inflated.
Make Bart Enjoy the Bounce House All to Himself – 4hrs
Make Milhouse Wait for His Friends- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x95.
Bart: I, for one, am having a great time at your party, but I wish there were other kids here.
Milhouse: I know. The party clown is getting bored. Now he’s just eating his pies instead of throwing them.
Bart: Maybe if your Dad stopped asking him to just make balloon animal pangolins.
Kirk: He’s a practitioner of the elastic arts! Don’t take the gig if you won’t twist the rig!
Bart: So, I don’t think anyone else is coming to the party.
Milhouse: No, you’re probably right.
Bart: …
Milhouse: …
Bart: Another round of Double Buzz Squishees?
Milhouse: I’ll take mine intravenously!
Birthday Party for One Pt. 4
Auto starts
Bart: It may be the sugar shock, but I think I see the face of an angel.
Milhouse: Close. It’s my cousin Annika.
Annika: Pathetic American slobs. No wonder your national pastime is diabetes.
Bart: Would you like to share a cupcake?
Milhouse: You bet I would! Oh, you were talking to Annika.
Annika: *Dutch muttering*
Milhouse: That must mean yes!
Make Bart Wipe Cupcake Frosting Off His Cheeks- 4hrs
Make Milhouse Fail to Impress Annika- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x155.
Bart: Man, your cousin is so cool. She’s like next-level cool. She’s Euro-cool.
Milhouse: She’s probably the coolest Van Houten in history.
Bart: Catch up, boy, we’re way past that. Her kind of cool can’t be contained. Anyone in close proximity to her would start to exude cool.
Milhouse: They would, wouldn’t they…?
Birthday Party for One Pt. 5
Auto starts
Milhouse: Please, Annika. Pleeeaaaaaasssseeee!
Annika: No, Milhouse. I will not pretend to be your girlfriend. You know we’re related, right?
Milhouse: We’re not any closer than my parents. Or yours.
Annika: But you’re a fourth grader and I’m an older teenager of an indiscriminate age.
Milhouse: Exactly. Besides, it would really cut down on my swirly per diem.
Annika: Wait, do you get bullied in school?
Milhouse: I wouldn’t say bullied. My friends act violently to express their affection. For hurting me.
Annika: *sigh* Fine. I will go along with your ruse. Pretending to be something I’m not should make me fit right in here in America.
Make Milhouse Shout With Joy- 4hrs
Collect Party Hats- 4hrs, x195.
And this concludes the full dialogue for Act 1, of the Van Houtens!
Thoughts on the dialogue? Act 1? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!
Thanks to Annika (and TSTO), Spijkerpoepen will be the best in joke between Tappers ! 🤣
Bring on Act 2!
Looks like it’s that time again!
• • •
Time to flip some trap trucks for the new premium character (& possibly building combo).