Thank Grog It’s Firday!!
What a wonderful treat! Without prompting, without cajoling, EA saw fit to “keep the tradition alive,” and bring us a Thanksgiving and Black Friday update! Wooooo!! (I’d add a “hoooo” but, I’m still trying to get a handle on how thankful I really am!).
I’m not going to state the obvious…but the fact is, the huge burst of new Covid cases, and the resulting shutdowns, pleas, and out-and-out begging to be safe, has created a Thanksgiving that is unlike any in my entire almost-67-year-lifetime. This is a holiday that is made for tradition. Families getting together in mass, to celebrate with far too much food, a smattering of drama (especially if the family is a “house divided over politics in an election year), and loads and loads of reminiscing about the “good old days!”
Wait. Maybe, with all of the insanity going on right now, a “small family gathering” is exactly what we need. Maybe Covid is God’s way of saying…CHILLAX!!!!!
Or…maybe it is just part of the REST of the crappiest year in history…including this so-called Thanksgiving Event in TSTO.
Let’s break this down… and decide if EA is worthy of our Thanks…or if it is Thanksgiving Lite, at best!
Let’s start by what we “Win” for caring enough to tap…
The Jelly Monster…which i was surprised to find out, is actually canon! (E8S31). It was stupid in the show…and is going to be even worse in our towns. I already have enough turkeys roaming around…without a giant sludge of cranberry sauce to go with them. Stupid. Will go into storage.
Blarg Alien (from the same episode). For the same reasons…(I DON’T WANT IT IN MY TOWN), I’m not thrilled, even with three legs.
Then…we get a bunch of random buildings and decorations…
Swapper Jack’s – Nope. Belongs in a Strip Mall
Humanity’s Hope – Come on. Our “Hope” is leaving earth for the wasteland of space?
Blarg Huts – No thanks. They don’t make sense in any location in my town.
And there are the “FREE BONUS” Black Friday Bonus Prizes
The Boob Tubery – Funny name…but, it should be owned by Booberella, and shouldn’t actually sell TVs.
Circuit Circus – Funny play on words for the decimation of retail culture as we know it.
Catfish Lake – The only real “Catfishing” being done here, is EA pretending to be someone who cares!
And don’t even get me started on Black Friday. Since it’s inception, it hasn’t really been any real discounts, for anything you really want. It’s all old stuff…and this time, it costs actual money. Who…would…do…this?????
I know there are some of you reading this who are either blushing, or angry, or both right now. But, dammitallanyway…at best, you are donating to EA. And they don’t need to dough. There is little to be thankful for here…
And finally…COME ON!!!! So, the storyline here is that Homer has created a giant sentient glob of CRANBERRY…that requires it to be fed, human bones? He robs a grave and tries to feed Patty and Selma to it????? WOW…there are some Happy Vroom Shrooms in the stuffing… The writers have completely lost it…Soooooo Stupid!!!!!
Luckily…I am thankful for my family’s ability to adapt. This year, we are going to be “scofflaws” and drive down to Sacramento, to have Thanksgiving, the day AFTER Thanksgiving with my daughter and her husband. We have all been in safe mode…almost completely quarantined…and are limiting it to the four of us (and their new puppy). My wife has reasoned that it is just like driving across town…to share a meal with one other couple. We’ll navigate the rest stops in full Covid regalia!
We will do a ZOOM get-together with the rest of our family…and make them jealous that they don’t get any of my wife’s famously amazing Thanksgiving turkey dinner. Simple…succulent…and traditional. Nobody, and I mean nobody, makes a better bird.
Homer’s panic about not having Cranberry Sauce is justified.
The simple fact, is that I like my Thanksgiving meals to be mostly the basics. No weird clam stuffing, or molded tomato aspic salad. Just give me copious amounts of Turkey, roasted to perfection, surrounded by vegetables…mashed potatoes and gravy, and stuffing…all covered in a thick layer of cranberries (FRESH NOT CANNED!!!).
We will do this on Friday. And we will be as thankful as we would have been on Thursday.
Then…we get to drive back, two days later, just in time for me to do my “Mom shift” as we move my mother into “hospice mode.” And yes…ironically, I am thankful for both the chance for a “long goodbye” as well as the knowledge that her suffering will end before too long.
2020…what a year. I am damn thankful that it is almost over.
I know there are many of you who will find a way to love this Thanksgiving Mini-event, and even some who will willingly blow hard-earned real money on silly digital baubles. That’s fine. We don’t all have to have the same opinions on things.
I continue to have hope…that we will get our collective acts together, and do the right things to make this world better for everyone. There are going to be challenges ahead. But, I have faith that we are going to look back on 2020 as a year that will not be missed…and may very well be the low-point from which we mark progress toward a better future.
That is what I hope. And without hope…we are left with deciding who gets to ride on the false hope of a spaceship, headed for a barren wasteland, that the “Blargs” already screwed up to the point where they think that earth is a rare piece of paradise.
Oh. Those silly, silly, Blargs.
OK…in full disclosure…I did get the Blorg Bundle. I had the donuts…and I have to admit…watching the 3-legged break dancing is hilarious. But, the estate of Dr Seuss will likely Sue over the huts. They look like they are right out of one of his books!