Blargsgiving Premium Dialgoue: Blarg Alien

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Turkey time in Springfield and this time the cranberry sauce is fighting back!

This mini-event ushered in one new premium character to help navigate this event.  The Blarg Alien is an all-new premium character for Springfield, who not only helps earn event currency but also comes with a short questline.

So let’s take a look at the Blarg Alien’s questline, Blargity Blarg Blarg!  Here’s the full dialogue for Blargity Blarg Blarg…

More details on the Blarg Alien can be found here

Blargity Blarg Blarg Pt. 1
Blarg Alien starts

Blarg Alien: Blarg blarg, blargity blarg blarg.
Lisa: Dad, what’s the Blarg Alien saying? All I hear is “blarg”
Homer: He told me before that his ability to mind-meld came from a futuristic machine on his ship. I guess since the ship is out of gas he can’t use it anymore.
Lisa: I know! We’ll build a translator. Then we’ll know what he’s trying to tell us!
Blarg Alien: Blarg!
Make Blarg Alien Be Happy- 1hr
Make Lisa Call Professor Frink- 1hr

Blargity Blarg Blarg Pt. 2
Blarg Alien starts

Lisa: Professor Frink, we need your help building a translator so we can understand what this alien is saying.
Frink: Egads, an alien you say? Good glayvin! Well, it’s the burden of all highly intelligent creatures, such as myself, to be misunderstood by their lesser peers…such as yourself.
Lisa: I’m in Mensa, I’ll have you know.
Frink: I rest my case. Now let’s see what we’re working with here. Go ahead and speak, Mr. Alien sir with the three legs and the GINORMOUS body-moyvin.
Blarg Alien: Blarg blarging blargity blarg. Blarg blarged, blarg. Blarg!
Frink: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And could you say that last part again?
Blarg Alien: Blarg?
Lisa: Are you sure you know what you’re doing? I think you’re confusing him.
Frink: We are merely performing the metaphorical dance that takes place when two beings of equal mental prowess begin to understand one another.
Lisa: Then why is he actually dancing?
Frink: *sighs* It seems there is no word for “metaphorical” in the Blargonian language, so I apparently just challenged him to a dance battle.
Make Blarg Alien Breakdance- 8hrs
Lisa: No, no, he doesn’t want you to actually dance.
Blarg Alien: Blarging Blarg?
Lisa: Thanks for your time, Professor Frink, but I think we’ll look for someone else to help.
Frink: Can I at least show him “the worm” first? I assure you, it’s rather eye-popping.

Blargity Blarg Blarg Pt. 3
Blarg Alien starts

Lisa: Okay, Frink was a bust. Who else in this town has the smarts to help me figure this out…? Hmm, I could see if Chief Wiggum would let Sideshow Bob out of jail to help us. What he lacks in sanity he makes up for in evil genius-ness. Though he would probably try to kill Bart if we let him out…
Blarg Alien: Blarg…
Lisa: You’re right, Blarg Alien. Bart’s life IS worth the risk for such a worthy cause.
Blarg Alien: Blarg!
Make Lisa Go to Jail (Just to Visit)- 4hrs
Make Blarg Alien Follow Lisa to Jail- 4hrs
Wiggum: So you need to talk to Sideshow Bob, do ya? What’s in it for me?
Lisa: What is it that you need?
Wiggum: Let’s see… I’d ask for donuts, but I don’t want to seem so cliché. Maybe a bandolier? Or what about one of those newfangled tasers that’ll heat up your coffee if you aim it just right?
Lisa: Well, I guess if it’s just used on coffee then it’s okay…
Wiggum: Yep, nothin’ but coffee. Coffee and peaceful protesters.
Lisa: I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that last part.

Blargity Blarg Blarg Pt. 4
Blarg Alien starts

Wiggum: Here ya go, Lisa. Sideshow Bob delivered fresh out of lockup. Ask your questions, then this homicidal wacko is heading straight back to minimum-security prison!
Lisa: Sideshow Bob.
Bob Terwilliger: Lisa.
Lisa: Look, I don’t like you, and you don’t like me, but I need your help. And in exchange, you get to spend the afternoon out of prison. This is a Blarg Alien, and we can’t figure out what he’s trying to tell us.
Bob Terwilliger: So it’s his fault I’m missing stroganoff day in the prison cafeteria?
Make Blarg Alien Say “Blarg”- 1hr
Bob Terwilliger: Fascinating. An alien, right here in Springfield. Whatever could have possessed you to visit this rotting cesspool of a town?
Blarg Alien: Blarg blarging blarg, blargity blarg blarg blarg. Blarg!
Bob Terwilliger: Blarg, blarg. Blarging blarg bla blarg blarg. Blarg, blarg blarged blarg.
Lisa: Wait, you speak Blargonian?
Bob Terwilliger: *laughing* Silly, silly Lisa. Firstly, it’s not “Blargonian”. It’s merely a Blarg-heavy dialect of Swahili. You see, the Blargs learned our speech by intercepting our TV broadcasts. The Swahili Channel, in particular, was the only broadcast strong enough to reach their home planet. I learned all this from my prison pen pal. A delightfully desperate young Blargonian woman. You two would really hit it off.

Blargity Blarg Blarg Pt. 5
Blarg Alien starts

Blarg Alien: Blarg, blarg!
Bob Terwilliger: Blarg.
Lisa: Okay, so what is it that the alien wants?
Bob Terwilliger: Since he’s stuck here on Earth, he was hoping to watch some of our movies.
Lisa: Movies?
Bob Terwilliger: Indeed. Our friend here is specifically asking for directions to Blockbuster Video.
Lisa: Oh, he didn’t quite travel far enough back in time for that.
Make Blarg Alien Shake Fists in the Air- 4hrs
Blarg Alien: Blarg!
Lisa: Don’t be mad. You can still watch movies and TV shows, you just have to get them from somewhere that hasn’t gone bankrupt. Yet.
Blarg Alien: Blarg?
Lisa: Yeah. But honestly, movies have been going downhill lately… I think you’ll be much more impressed with the endless selection of quality programming on network TV. *winks at camera*

And that’s it my friends, the Blargsgiving premium dialogue.

Thoughts on the event?  Did you buy the Blarg Alien Thoughts on the dialogue? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!