Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year Tappers, Christmas in TSTO! And this year EA is insulting everyone with a true Sacrilegious Christmas…
Now on with the Act 2 Dialogue…
Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 1
Ned: This Movementarian malarky is starting to look like a movement. We need to find a way to stop it and get our sheep back into their proper fold.
Marge: Maybe we should consult an expert on cults?
Ned: Good idea!
Make Ned Consult Lovejoy- 4hrs
Make Marge Put Out the Nativity for Inspiration- 4hrs
Collect Halos- x150
Lovejoy: Every religion has its own path to truth, Ned. Who is to say one is better than the others?
Ned: We are! Whatever happened to the Inquisition?
Lovejoy: That was the Catholic Church, Ned. We’re Protestant.
Ned: Darn it! Maybe I should convert to Catholicism, then torture Homer into converting to it, and then we can both convert back to whatever it is we are.
Lovejoy: We are…running into my next appointment. Maybe you should pray for guidance.
Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 2
Ned: Boys, to get Homer back to his family, we’ve got to pray harder than we’ve ever prayed before.
Rod: Even harder than that time Bart hid a walkie-talkie in our room and made us think the demons were talking to us in our sleep?
Todd: Even harder than that time Bart replaced the pages of Deuteronomy with chapter four of The Anarchist Cookbook?
Ned: Harder than you’ve ever prayed because of anything Bart has ever done to you.
Make Ned Pray Harder Than He’s Ever Prayed Before- 4hrs
Make Rod Pray Harder Than Todd- 4hrs
Make Todd Pray Harder Than Rod- 4hrs
Make Bart Put the Finishing Touches on the Next Prank- 4hrs
Collect Halos- x150
God: Come on, Ned! It’s Christmas Eve Eve!
Ned: And because it’s Christmas Eve Eve, I direct my prayer to the Baby Jesus and ask for his help.
God: Fine. BJ, it’s for you!
Baby Jesus: Wah!
Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 3
Baby Jesus: What in the — where am I?
Baby Jesus: Which one?
Ned: Well, I suppose there’s no point being coy about it anymore…
Baby Jesus: Nevermind! I’m too cranky to listen, because I’m a baby! When is nap time?
Ned: Baby Jesus, I brought you here to save Christmas by bringing Homer Simpson back to his family.
Baby Jesus:If Homer’s family wants him back, why did I only hear prayers from you?
Lisa: You ignored my prayers until Ned repeated them!
Baby Jesus: My bad.
Ned: Baby Jesus, you need to go to the cult compound and bring Homer home! Just look at these pamphlets. They go on and on about frazzles! I think this cult exploits people’s stress and turns them into mindless automatons.
Baby Jesus: I do sometimes feel frazzled…
Make Ned Take Baby Jesus to the Cult Compound-4hrs
Make Baby Jesus Read Cult Pamphlets to Catch Up- 4hrs
Make The Leader Measure Baby Jesus’ F-levels- 4hrs
Collect Halos- x150
The Leader: Your F-levels are off the charts!
Baby Jesus: This season is hard for me — it’s Christmas AND my birthday!
The Leader: We’ve got to indoctrinate you, stat!
Baby Jesus: If you think it’ll help.
The Leader: How about you, Ned? We’re running a two-brainwashes-for-the-price-of-one holiday special.
Ned: My brain only gets washed in holy water!
The Leader: Be careful — that can cause shrinkage.
Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 4
Baby Jesus: Ugh, another gruel dinner? Homer, when do we get to ride in the spaceship?
Homer: Any day now, Baby Jesus. We just need to finish the lima bean harvest, the license plate production batch, the re-shooting of the propaganda film now in HD…
Baby Jesus: Right, got it. So it’s a long time.
Homer: …building that new barn, the tune-up on The Leader’s limo, the PR tour on the morning shows…
Baby Jesus: I said I got it!
Make Baby Jesus Drive the Movementarian Ad Truck-4hrs
Make Homer Climb the Cult Ranks-4hrs
Make Patty Stay One Rank Ahead of Homer- 4hrs
Make Selma Supervise Homer’s Cult Work- 4hrs
Make Ned Ask Krusty Claus for Help- 4hrs
Collect Halos- x150
Krusty Claus: Aren’t you a bit old to believe in Krusty Claus?
Ned: The older I get, the more I believe in it!
Krusty Claus: Let me check my Naughty or Not app… Your niceness is off the charts! You’re entitled to whatever Christmas presents you can afford to buy.
Ned: I want Homer to come home for the holidays.
Krusty Claus: Is that some kind of video game?
Ned: He’s joined a spaceship cult with Baby Jesus. There’s no way for me to reach him!
Krusty Claus: A spaceship? Big whoop. I’ve got a self-flying sled.
Ned: Self-flying? You don’t use reindeer anymore?
Krusty Claus: Are you kidding me? The reindeer labor union is the most powerful in the North Pole!
Ned: Hmm…you know that gives me an idea. You mind if I borrow this self-flying sled of yours?
Krusty Claus: If you upgrade to the Santa’s Workshop Sled Tier Pass, then you get fifteen minutes with it.
Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 5
Ned: *flying* Homer! Look up here! How cool is this?! Want to come fly it with me?!
Homer: It’s a bird!
Baby Jesus: It’s a plane!
Homer: Nope, pretty sure it’s a bird.
Baby Jesus: Only one way to find out. Leader, gimme your hunting rifle.
The Leader: Just polished her up.
Baby Jesus: Take note, Homer. This is how you keep the 2nd Amendment folks on your side. *blasts sled out of the sky*
Ned: *falling* Baby Jesus, whyyyyyyyyyyy??!!!
Make Ned Land the Self-Flying Sled in a Tree-4hrs
Make Homer Wonder if it Was Actually a Bird-4hrs
Make Baby Jesus Reload- 4hrs
Collect Halos- x175
Ned: Baby Jesus and Krusty Claus let us down, so it’s time to bring out the big guns.
Marge: The Easter Bunny?
Ned: No, bigger. The Old Testament! Rabbi Krustofsky, can you use some Old Testament fire and brimstone to bring Homer back to his family?
Rabbi Krustofsky: So your fancy-shmancy savior lets you down and you come running back to the Old Testament for help?
Ned: I’m sorry I asked!
Rabbi Krustofsky: I didn’t say no. But a certain amount of rubbing it in is part of the deal.
Thoughts on the Act 2 dialogue? Looking forward to Act 3 starting to continue the story? Have you completed Act 2? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!