Thank Grog It’s Firday!
So yes, I do get cranky on occasion when the game goes off of the rails. But, I really have to say that this week, with two very targeted offers coming from our good friends at TSTO/EA, I have to say, “ENOUGH! Stop Trying to Pull Me Into Your Weird Sexualization Schemes!”
Oh…so you think I am over-reacting with the “Gill Deal” and the “Libido Deal” coming within days of one another? You think that I WANT my libido rolling around with a character that makes “Booberella” look pre-pubescent? THINK AGAIN!!
So…if I have to make a choice between “Libido” and someone clearly here to mess with my Libido, I’m going to go with…
Oh… come on…you really have to ask? You think I have to even think about paying CASH money for a weird cartoon character, or using free farmed donuts to get a real, live (mostly), character in the flesh (and oh…that flesh!)?
It’s Titania. Pure plain and simple…and there is nothing plain or simple about Titania.
Oh…go ahead…try and shame me! But, come on! My Libido looks like Lisa???
And the WIKI description does nothing to make the concept any less creepy.
Libido is a limited-time premium character that was released on February 3, 2021, as part of the Love and War 2021 Event. She is unlocked upon the purchase of a Tray of 132 Donuts during the event.
Libido is a girl in Lisa’s mind, along with Jealousy, Honesty and Conscience. She is a concept depicted in Lisa Simpson’s mind, and is shown to be locked up in a cage.
Uhm…hello???? Seriously??? With all of the news lately about child trafficking, and the whole Epstein thing…and QAnon folks thinking that half the population drinks children’s blood…THIS IS OK???? TONE DEAF MUCH???
Which is more creepy? A sexualized child locked up in a cage, or a sexy adult, trying to break out of her cage (of being judged by others for her body alone)???
I think you know the answer to that question.
Add to this, (I’m repeating the obvious), one costs REAL money ($10 that is better spent on food, shelter, and gasoline for my RV), and the other, farmed donuts, which cost me nothing but a little tapping. Again…easy choice.
But, let’s explore the differences in TASKS…
Rock and Roll – 60Min Task- Visual on one of the Stages
Get Imprisoned – 4 hours (Brown house? Creeeeepy!)
Read a Romance Novel – 8 Hours- Visual Task
Chase Boys – 12 Hours- Springfield Elementary or Brown House (Sheesh! Stalker much??)
Stay Up Late-24-Hours– Simpson House or Brown House (Late? How about an Overnighter with diet pills to keep you awake? Creepy!)
Pretend to Flirt – 60 Minutes- Inside Knockers
Try to Win at Blackjack – 4 hours – Indoors at any of the casinos
Drink and Babysit – 4 hours – inside…and yes…a bit irresponsible.
Attend Coffee Meetup– 4 hours- Inside at Restaurant (coffee first…book club after?)
Practice Drunk Tossing– 4 hours- Hilarious, and great animation (see below)
Try to Get Smart – 8 Hours (she isn’t reading a romance novel!)
Point to Her Eyes – 12 hours- (Inside Knockers…and futile)
By Roller Skates – 24 Hours – Inside…and clearly not one I will ever use.
Titania is clearly workin’ it the right way for drunken louts…and getting graded by the creators of “Libido.” Straight Outa Hell!
It’s not like the creators/writers/programmers of TSTO don’t know what really gets my Libido going. And when I did a quick search of hotties in my Springfield, I was reminded of the Sesame Street song, “One of these things is not like the other…”
Once again…which of these gorgeous (and amazingly, deceptively intelligent) females does NOT belong in my fantasy?
Hmm…maybe the kid in chains? UGH!
I am a simple man. I have had a long, and consistent relationship with my libido. We are still close. But, I also know when something is weirdly out of place, and this character will never walk among the other citizens of my Springfield. And…it’s from on of least favorite episodes, “Diatribe of a Mad Housewife,” which is also the basis for this very “Un-Romantic” Valentine’s Event.
So…sorry…Libido loses once again. Not going there.
Most people will admit (probably not Andrew…remember Andrew?) that the primary difference between men and women, is that their libidos reside in very different places. Men…mostly parts. Women…mostly in their minds.
Don’t get me wrong…there is empirical evidence that women can get jacked up on watching men’s parts (Thunder Down Under has been popular for a very long time). But, for the most part, it takes a lot of greased beef-cake to do the job, and even then, it is likely in the viewer’s imagination, rather than the parts.
But, I don’t know this for sure. Because I am not a woman. (Surprise!). And I only know what gets my Libido going, and it’s not young girls, in chains. I do have five daughters, three sisters and a wife. I know that a chained up Bart, wouldn’t do it for them either. So there’s that. Case closed. Keeping my $10.
There isn’t much more to say about this…so I’ll just sign off early, and get back to watching Titania toss drunks.