Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Well, the end is finally near as we prepare for the Rise of the Robots Event to leave our games on Wednesday. Now that we’ve reached the end, it’s time to take a look back at the exciting conclusion of this event.
So here’s a look at the full dialogue for Welcome to the Cyberdome…just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…
Welcome to the Cyberdome Pt. 1
Lisa: Professor Frink! Thank goodness you haven’t been enslaved!
Bart: We need your help!
Frink: You should have thought of that when you shunned me in the past!
Lisa: I didn’t shun you. I idolized you!
Bart: I shunned you, but I’m a kid. It was weird for you to want to join our Radioactive Man Club.
Frink: As decades of sloppy lab procedures have made me a very radioactive man, I thought it was highly appropriate.
Bart: The robot you built is enslaving humanity — you owe us a solution.
Frink: Well, it is every scientist’s dream to solve the problems his work creates. Hold on while I calculate the odds of success… Omega times alpha, carry the one, plus/minus your-guess-is-as-good-as-mine…
Collect Punch Cards- x155
Make Lisa Plead With Frink for Help- 4hrs
Make Bart Resent Smashius Clay’s Victory- 4hrs
Make Frink Jr. Give Bart Some Serious Side-Eye- 4hrs
Make Frink Calculate the Odds of Success- 4hrs
Make Mrs. Frink Get Fed Up With Her Husband- 4hrs
Frink: It just won’t work. I’ve calculated the odds of defeating the robots and there’s not a goyvin’s chance in hoyvin of success.
Lisa: So you’re not even gonna try?
Mrs Frink: You won’t even fight for your family? You’re not the man I married!
Frink: That’s because my molecular makeup has been irreversibly altered by all the experiments, and as I say this I realize that’s not what you meant.
Octoparrot: *clucks like a chicken*
Frink: Fine, I’ll help.
Mrs Frink: Oh, so you’ll do it for Octoparrot! I see where your loyalty is.
Frink: When a bird calls one a chicken, the accusation has greater credibility.
Welcome to the Cyberdome Pt. 2
Lisa: So what’s the plan, Professor?
Frink: We’ll use Emma, the old super-computer the school uses to grade papers, to create a computer virus that will imprint all the robots with Asimov’s Laws of Robotics. I’ll have to be careful, because Emma runs on punch cards.
Lisa: Why weren’t the robots programmed with those laws in the first place?
Frink: Who thinks this kind of thing is ever going to happen?
Lisa: Only like every sci-fi writer ever. *sigh* So what then?
Frink: Once Emma generates it, we’ll put the code on a dongle and—
Frink: And then we take the dongle—
Lisa: Bart, what—?
Bart: Sorry, nothing. It’s just…he keeps saying “dongle”. *snickers*
Collect Punch Cards- x115
Make Lisa Try to Get Bart to Stop Laughing at “Dongle”- 4hrs
Make Bart Laugh at the Word “Dongle”- 4hrs
Make Frink Put His Plan Into Action- 4hrs
Bart: Wow, Professor, you can type really fast!
Frink: That’s how hacking works — the faster you type, the more successful your hacking!
Lisa: That doesn’t make any sense. Besides, you’re not hacking anything, you’re programming—
Frink: Silence, child! This is how it’s done.
Lisa: Once we have the virus code on the, uh, device, how do we get it into the robots?
Frink: I…I hadn’t thought of that.
Bart: I know how! There’s only one way to fight evil robots…
Frink: More robots?
Bart: No, not more robots, but you’re close. You’re going to have to turn me into a cyborg!
Lisa: WHAT?! That’s crazy!
Frink: That’s brilliant!
Welcome to the Cyberdome Pt. 3
Bart: *thinking* Okay, now to infiltrate the robot base and sneak past their human-detectors…
Smashius Clay: …and now, since there are no humans around, I shall reveal the keystone of my plan to extend robot domination across the country and then the world!
Bestimus Mucho: Even though you could just silently transmit it to us on our headquarters’ WiFi, please say it out loud — it’s so much more satisfying!
Smashius Clay: Indeed! To conquer all the humans we must increase our operational efficiency by all connecting with one another through a single network consciousness!
Carnage Destructicus: Like a hive mind?
Smashius Clay: Nah, more like a private chat server where we can make fun of the humans faster.
Hot Dog Cooker Bot: Good one, boss!
Bart: Now’s my chance…
Collect Punch Cards- x115
Make Cyborg Bart Infiltrate Robot High Command- 2hrs
Make Chief Knockahomer Rat Out Bart- 2hrs
Make Lisa Hope Bart Succeeds- 2hrs
Chief KnockaHomer: Hey boss, my old…I don’t know, what do I call him? My master? That’s kind of gross. Anyway, the Simpsons kid heard your whole plan.
Bart: *gasp* Chief Knockahomer! You ratted me out?!
Chief KnockaHomer: Sorry, man. I got Smashius’ nano-control bots coursing through my electric veins. And rock ‘n roll, of course. OH YEEEEEEEAAAAH!
Welcome to the Cyberdome Pt. 4
Smashius Clay: So you became a cyborg to infiltrate my headquarters. Clever girl.
Bart: I’m not a girl, you’re a girl!
Smashius Clay: Technically, being machines, we are genderless. But we can argue that later. Carnage Destructicus, tear off his limbs!
Carnage Destructicus: His limbs? I thought you just said we’re genderless. Shouldn’t it be its limbs? Or perhaps their limbs?
Smashius Clay: Just – take the limbs of the cyborg and remove them from said cyborg’s body!
Carnage Destructicus: Okay, well I don’t like being spoken to in that tone of voice. Also, the cyborg is running away.
Smashius Clay: Grab him! Her! They! It! That!
Collect Punch Cards- x155
Make Cyborg Bart Battle Carnage Destructicus- 4hrs
Make Carnage Destructicus Smack Bart Around- 4hrs
Make Lisa Worry About How Bart is Doing- 4hrs
Smashius Clay: Not as much fun when WE make YOU fight, is it?
Bart: Ha! I’m having a great time. That the best you can do, Carnage Bustimus?
Carnage Destructicus: Not at all. That was my Easy Mode. Switching to Hard Mode now…
Bart: Oh, shoot.
Welcome to the Cyberdome Pt. 5
Squishee Machine Bot: Wow, that kid is sure taking a beating. I almost feel sorry for him.
Carnage Destructicus: And now, little human, prepare for my finishing move: The Total Destructionator! Prepare to be destructed!
Bart: Knockahomer! Please! Remember all the good times we had! You gotta help me, buddy!
Chief KnockaHomer: Yeah, like the time you made me fight that robot with the flamethrower, and the time you made me fight that robot with the whirling saw blade. Good times.
Bart: We always patched you back up.
Chief KnockaHomer: And sent me back into the ring. I’d really like to help, but you know how it is with nano-bots. I can’t go against the boss.
Smashius Clay: That’s right! Now that all robots are connected to me and full of my nano-control bots, they are my helpless pawns! No better than you slack-jawed meatbags!
Chief KnockaHomer: Wait, WHAT?
Smashius Clay: Uh, that came out wrong. Really, I love you guys, and—
Chief KnockaHomer: Nobody compares us to lousy humans! ATTACK!
Collect Punch Cards- x195
Make Chief Knockahomer Distract Robots- 1hr
Make Cyborg Bart Dongle Smashius Clay- 1hr
Make Lisa Come Looking for Bart- 1hr
Smashius Clay: What did you just do, human?!
Bart: You’ve been dongled, sucker! Hahaha!
Chief KnockaHomer: *snicker* He said “dongle”.
Bart: You’ve all been infected with, uh, some laws that… Okay, I’m not really sure, but I think it means you can’t enslave humanity anymore.
Smashius Clay: Curse you, human! Oh, I guess I can’t say that anymore?
Bart: I’m not really sure.
Lisa: Well, you see, science-fiction writer and scientist Isaac Asimov postulated—
Bestimus Mucho: You win! You win! We’ll go back to being nice, just please make her stop.
Little Big Borg
Quimby: And that concludes peaceful negotiations between the robot faction and, ah, the rest of us…mostly human… Springfielders.
Bestimus Mucho: Now that our ability to turn against you has been neutralized, we will happily return to our proper functions.
Hot Dog Cooker Bot: That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have shriveled-up hotdogs dripping grease through your rollers.
Bestimus Mucho: You don’t know how I live. Before I de-pos-i-bize and return to my toy car form, I ask my human owner to roll me around the carpet once in a while. A toy car that isn’t played with is no toy car at all.
Bart: We’ll see how it goes. I’m a bit old for the toy thing, to be honest.
Homer: WOOHOO! Now we can all go back to laying around while letting machines do all our thinking for us.
Quimby: Ah, not so fast, Simpson. You and your friends have been conscripted to help clean up this mess.
Bart: Don’t worry, Homer, Cyborg Bart will keep the streets safe while you work.
Make Homer Clean Up This Mess- 4hrs
Make Barflies Help Homer Clean Up This Mess- x3. 4hrs
Make Cyborg Bart Patrol the Streets- 4hrs
Make Lisa Worry About Bart- 4hrs
Make Frink Be Fascinated- 4hrs
Make Carnage Destructicus Transform and Drive Away- 4hrs
Make Bestimus Mucho Transform and Drive Away- 4hrs
Lisa: Bart, don’t you want to change back into a human now?
Bart: No way! I want to run around town abusing my cyborg powers in the name of justice.
Lisa: Professor Frink, is there any danger in Bart remaining a cyborg for so long?
Frink: Nah! As long as he doesn’t overtax his systems by doing anything too extreme, he should be fine.
And that’s it my friends! The full dialogue for Act 4 of Rise of the Robots!
Thoughts on the dialogue? Did you read it live or catch up on it here? What was your favorite part of Act 4? Favorite part of the event? Ready for whatever is next? Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!