Holiday Whodunnit Act 4 Full Dialogue: Sleighing It

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

As we prepare for the Holiday Whodunnit event to end tomorrow, it’s time to wrap up this event and find out who attacked Santa…in the form of the hilarious dialogue!

So here’s a look at the full dialogue for Sleighing It…just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…

Sleighing It Pt. 1
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Kent Brockman: Hello, I’m Kent Brockman and welcome to the 1st annual “Santa Sleigh Race”! Proudly brought to you by the folks at Gnome-In-The-Home Dome.
Mary Tannenbaum: You’re talking into MY camera.
Kent Brockman: Dangit, that was a perfect take.
Lisa: Look who’s here!
Santa Claus: Ho-ho-ho! *sways precariously* Whoa-whoa-whoa!
Herb Tannenbaum: Santa! It’s so good to see you up and about!
Santa Claus: Herb, I heard you lost a limb in my defense. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.
Marge: Santa, you look a little wobbly there. Maybe you should sit back down.
Bart: Yeah, me and Homer have got the present-delivering covered, so take a load off. All you need to do is grant a couple crazy Christmas gifts we promised to get for people.
Santa Claus: Unlimited gifts cannot be done, Bart.
Bart: What about my waterslide into my infinity pool?
Santa Claus: It all depends on the requirements of the building code…but consider it done!
Answer Christmas Trivia- x1
Make Springfielders Cheer for Herb – x3. 4hrs
Make Herb Tannenbaum Bask in Praise – 4hrs
Make Santa Almost Fall Over– 4hrs
Make Homer Make His Christmas List for Santa- 4hrs
Collect Stockings– x125. 4hrs
Marge: Santa, you have to take it easy. We don’t want you to end up back in the hospital.
Santa Claus: Nonsense, this is a celebration. It’s in my nature to be merry.
Marge: Well, you have to stop being merry if it’s at the expense of your health.
Santa Claus: Fine.

Sleighing It Pt. 2
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Dr Hibbert: Marge, Lisa, I have the results back from the lab on that object that was in Santa’s head.
Marge: So what was it?
Dr Hibbert: It turns out it was a piece of a very old Christmas ornament.
Lisa: Let me see that…
Dr Hibbert: Actually, I’m supposed to turn this over to the police.
Wiggum: Go ahead, Doc. Give it to these two crime solvers. They’re handling the investigation.
Lisa: *gasp* This is the missing piece of Herb’s Christmas ornament! He’ll be so happy that I can complete it for him. Speaking of…where is Herb?
Homer: Uh-oh. Your mother’s got that look in her eye. She’s either just decided I’m going on another diet, or she’s suddenly solved the case. *crosses fingers*
Bart: Or both.
Homer: Aah!
Marge: I know what happened.
Lisa: No! But I’m supposed to be Sherlock!
Marge: Watson solves the cases too sometimes.
Answer Christmas Trivia- x1
Make Marge Withhold Info to Build Suspense– 4hrs
Make Lisa Beg Her Mom to Explain– 4hrs
Make Wiggum Beg Marge to Explain– 4hrs
Collect Stockings– x150.
Marge: There’s no time to explain, but we have to find Herb right now! Can someone track him?
Burns: My hounds will make quick work of this. They were bred for tracking and mutilating at my command.
Marge: We just need the tracking.
Burns: Very well, but I reserve the right to multilate at a later date. To the bone sleigh!

Sleighing It Pt. 3
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Burns: Hounds, follow that Christmas tree scent!
Lisa: Are we sure about this? Herb really doesn’t seem like the Santa-attacking type.
Homer: That’s what Christmas trees always want you to think…
Marge: I’ll explain it all when we get there.
Burns: Smithers, who let these people in my sleigh?
Smithers: I’m sorry, sir. I thought when you yelled “everyone in the bone sleigh!” you meant…everyone.
Nutcracker: I’m not sure why I’m here. Just following instructions.
Santa Claus: The Nutcracker’s with me. Speaking of, walnut anyone?
Kent Brockman: It’s surprising how many people fit in here. It really is quite roomy.
Bart: Burns, can I drive?
Mary Tannenbaum: This footage is gonna be incredible.
Burns: Alright, everyone sit down and shut up! We’ll be reaching max altitude soon.
Maggie: *fear of heights sucking noises*
Burns: The baby, too?!
Answer Christmas Trivia- x1
Make Burns Fly the Sleigh – 4hrs
Make Smithers Try to Buckle Everyone – 4hrs
Make Marge Hold On for Dear Life– 4hrs
Make Maggie Hold On to Marge for Dear Life- 4hrs
Make Homer Be Disappointed by Walnuts- 4hrs
Make Lisa Try to Work Out the Mystery- 4hrs
Make Mary Tannenbaum Get Sky Footage- 4hrs
Make Bart Shoot Spitballs at the Hounds- 4hrs
Make Nutcracker Try to Crack Nuts- 4hrs
Make Wiggum Mention That He’s Here Too- 4hrs
Collect Stockings– x175. 4hrs.
Herb Tannenbaum: The very hounds of Hell are on my trail. I need to find somewhere to hide.
Lisa: There he is, I can see light reflecting off his ornaments!
Marge: He just went inside that ominous looking warehouse…
Lisa: You mean the one with the sign that says “Property of C.M. Burns”?
Burns: I wonder what that could ever be used for…

Sleighing It Pt. 4
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Wiggum: Hands in the air!! Err, I mean – sticks in the air! You’re under arrest!
Herb Tannenbaum: For what crime?
Wiggum: I thought you’d never ask. For the crime of — uh, yeah…for what crime, Marge?
Marge: The attack on Santa!
Herb Tannenbaum: Preposterous! Santa is my best friend, plus I was seriously maimed in the attack.
Marge: That’s just what you wanted everyone to think. And then when Hibbert found a piece of your ornament in Santa’s head, I knew it was you who did it.
Herb Tannenbaum: But that lodged into him when he fell.
Wiggum: That does sound pretty plausible, Marge.
Marge: You just wait. All along Lisa was right. It’s not about seeing what happens, it’s about observing.
Homer: Ugh, more Sherlock stuff.
Marge: And only a mother who is used to washing blood out of her son’s clothes could figure out this clue.
Bart: My Bartliness helped solve the attack on Santa! Sweet!
Lisa: But Mom, the blood pattern at the crime scene all matched Herb’s recounting of the attack.
Marge: Yes, it did, didn’t it. But that wasn’t the only thing at the crime scene, was it? We forgot to analyze… The sap pattern!
Herb Tannenbaum: It was all Mary’s idea! Arrest her! I was her unwitting pawn.
Mary Tannenbaum: Shut your sap hole, Herb.
Marge: Cuff ‘em, Chief!
Wiggum: Yeah, what Marge said! Oh wait, I’m supposed to do it.
Answer Christmas Trivia- x1
Make Wiggum Arrest Herb and Mary – 4hrs
Make Lisa Be Proud of Marge’s Sleuthing– 4hrs
Make Marge Feed Maggie– 4hrs
Make Manacek Tell the Whole Story 4hrs
Make Homer Ask for Clarification- 4hrs
Make Santa Shake His Head Slowly at Herb- 4hrs
Make Mary Tannenbaum Tell Her Crew to Shut it Down- 4hrs
Make Herb Tannenbaum Regret Getting Mixed Up With Mary- 4hrs
Collect Stockings– x150. 4hrs.
Lisa: Enough with the suspense. Tell us the whole story.
Marge: Manacek, you wanna take this one? I’ve had a long day.
Lisa: You were working with Manacek on our case?
Marge: He was MY Watson.
Manacek: It was a crisp day in early December. Mary Tannenbaum had reached the end of her rope. The rope that she dreamed of hanging herself with if she had to produce another romantic comedy. On that same day, amidst a blizzard thousands of miles away at The North Pole, Herb Tannenbaum was tired of living in Santa’s shadow. He wanted that glory for himself. But the days were long, and the heartbreak longer…
Marge: Come on, Manacek, get to the point…Mary is Herb’s niece. Her mother is married to his brother Grover. It’s all very complicated.
Manacek: And this is where things get fun…Herb wanted to get rid of Santa so he could take over and get all the glory each Christmas, while his niece Mary wanted a juicy exclusive to jump start her fledgling career as a true crime podcaster/filmmaker.
Marge: So Herb told Mary his plan to take out Santa. And not only did she do nothing to stop him, she tried to lead us on a wild goose chase.
Manacek: But there was only one goose to chase: Herb. After hitting Santa over the head, he cut off his own limb so he wouldn’t be considered a suspect.
Marge: Right so far, Herb?
Wiggum: Kind of seems obvious looking back at it. I wish I’d just investigated this from the start.
Santa Claus: Tell me it’s not true, Herb.
Herb Tannenbaum: It’s true! All of it. And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for this housewife and her meddling kid and that 1970s Manacek guy with all his smooth lines!
Manacek: Looks like the only topper you’re getting for your Christmas Tree is an orange jumpsuit.
Lisa: Wow, Mom. I guess you really were the Sherlock after all.
Marge: You can be Sherlock. I finally googled Irene Adler and she rocks!

Sleighing It Pt. 5
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Kent Brockman: Well, we’re still doing the sleigh race…because why the heck not?! And the race is on! Burns pulls out to an early lead, followed by the Rich Texan as they make their first lap around the mountain.
Lisa: This is so exciting. Where are Dad and Bart?
Kent Brockman: As they complete the first lap, Sideshow Mel has taken a slim lead, but Homer and Bart Simpson have just hit the straightaway and engaged their magic bone rocket fuel nitrous turbo power!
Marge: Look at ‘em go!
Burns: They stole my power! Release the hounds! Release the hounds!
Answer Christmas Trivia- x1
Make Burns Compete in the Sleigh Race – 4hrs
Make Krusty Compete in the Sleigh Race – 4hrs
Make Sideshow Mel Compete in the Sleigh Race – 4hrs
Make Rich Texan Compete in the Sleigh Race – 4hrs
Make Ms. Claws Compete in the Sleigh Race- 4hrs
Make Homer Compete in the Sleigh Race- 4hrs
Make Marge Join the Race for Fun Too- 12hrs (requires Maggie)
Collect Stockings– x200. 4hrs.
Kent Brockman: And across the checkered line, it’s Homer and Bart Simpson for the win! Followed by Mr. Burns as a distant second place.
Lisa: Way to go, guys!
Homer: Woohoo! I’m the new Santa! It’s nothing but milk and cookies from here on out!
Santa Claus: You know, I’m actually feeling a lot better.
Homer: D’oh!

Winner, Winner Cookie Dinner
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Santa Claus: Don’t be sad, Homer. You’ll still get to deliver a lot of presents and eat lots of cookies and milk. As a matter of fact, all the participants in the race will be helping me this year.
Homer: But I don’t wanna share!
Santa Claus: By my calculations, Homer, even with the bit of Christmas magic I’m going to give you, the whole group of you will barely be able to cover just this state in one night.
Homer: That can’t be right. We’re too slow even with Santa magic?
Lisa: It makes sense. Santa does have to deliver to over a thousand houses a second to finish his job in one night.
Homer: *doing math on his fingers* Oh, yeah. I see now.

And that’s it my friends, the conclusion of the Holiday Whodunnit Event!

Thoughts on Act 4? Dialogue? Did you like how the story wrapped up?  Did you have the culprit pegged from Act 1? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!