Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
As we prepare for the Circus to finally leave Springfield, it’s time to wrap this event up with a pretty little bow..in the form of hilarious dialogue
So here’s a look at the full dialogue for The Lion’s Scare…just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…
The Lion’s Scare Pt. 1
Burnsum: Finish affixing your headpiece, Marguerite! You’re on in five.
Marguerite: On for who? The stands are empty.
Burnsum: Empty? How is this possible with the array of freaks I’ve collected?!
Bart: Parading freaks is so 1910. People want fresh. They all went over to Cirque de Puree.
Marge: Their stunts ARE spectacular. I don’t know how they do it.
Burnsum: Something smells foul.
The Human Donkey: That’s my lunch — sardines and sawdust.
Bart: If we don’t do something soon, the Cirque is gonna eat our lunch.
Burnsum: *sigh* I guess it’s time I do the unthinkable.
Bart: Tell people what’s really in our hot dogs?
Burnsum: Worse. It’s time I apologize.
Make Bart Eat a “Hot Dog”- 4hrs
Make Burnsum Head to the Ding-A-Ling Bros. Circus – 4hrs
Make Marguerite Fix Her Headband- 4hrs
Collect Cotton Candy- x115. 4hrs.
The Lion’s Scare Pt. 2
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Well, look what the lion dragged in.
Scuzzo The Clown: Come to gloat about driving us out of business, Burnsum?
Burnsum: That’s not why I’m here. My circus is failing worse than yours.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: I thought everyone in town loved your freak show.
Burnsum: That was before that blasted Cirque showed up. Now, everyone is gaga for their fancy French performances. As such, I was wondering if you fancied an alliance, to drive those brie-breathers back to where they came from.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: I might be interested.
Bart: Question: How are we going to drive the Cirque out of Springfield when everyone loves them?
Scuzzo The Clown: You leave that part to me…
Make Bart Follow Scuzzo the Clown- 4hrs
Make Scuzzo the Clown Go to the Ultimate Fighting Zoo – 4hrs
Collect Cotton Candy- x155. 4hrs.
The Lion’s Scare Pt. 3
Squeaky Voice Teen: Welcome to the Ultimate Fighting Zoo. Today it’s a battle of heavyweights — our gorilla will be facing off against our alligator.
Bart: Cool! I want front row for that!
Scuzzo The Clown: Hey, get your game face on. We’re here to do a job, not watch two monsters munch each other.
Bart: Aw, can’t we catch the show and then steal the man-eating lion?
Scuzzo The Clown: If we get our own man-eating lion, then we’ll be the ones putting on the show.
Bart: I guess. Can we at least feed the lion a couple people I don’t like? Say a certain fourth-grade teacher?
Scuzzo The Clown: There’ll be plenty of time for eating teachers. Now here, take this crowbar…
Make Bart Steal a Man-Eating Lion – 4hrs
Make Scuzzo the Clown Steal a Man-Eating Lion – 4hrs
Collect Cotton Candy- x115. 4hrs.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: You sure about this Burnsum? This lion looks pretty dangerous.
Burnsum: Not to worry. I’ll put my freaks up against a hungry lion any day of the week.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: But what if he, you know, eats someone?
Burnsum: Then it’s one less paycheck I’ll have to write. Now c’mon, stardom awaits!
The Lion’s Scare Pt. 4
Lisa: Ringmaster, I’m putting the clean acrobat uniforms in their dressing room.
Cirque De Puree Ringmaster: No, don’t go in there!
Lisa: *opens door, gasps, shuts door* Why are there a bunch of tiny children in there? Where are the acrobats?
Cirque De Puree Ringmaster: Those ARE the acrobats. We use rubbery children for all our stunts. Adults could never be that flexible.
Lisa: You’re exploiting children? All you circuses are the same. You just care about profit.
Cirque De Puree Ringmaster: Profit and beating those other awful animal circuses. Burnsum and Bailey have stooped to using a man-eating lion now.
Homer: Mmm…eating man… We gotta go to Burnsum and Bailey’s right now!
Lisa: No, Dad. You go without me. I’ve had enough of the circus.
Homer: Your mother told me to keep an eye on you and that’s what I’m gonna do! Or was it Bart? Doesn’t matter. You seem like a kid and that means I’m responsible!
Make Homer Drag Lisa to Burnsum and Bailey’s- 4hrs
Make Lisa Get Dragged to Burnsum and Bailey’s – 4hrs
Make Cirque de Puree Ringmaster Hide the Acrobat Children- 4hrs
Collect Cotton Candy- x155. 4hrs.
The Lion’s Scare Pt. 5
Burnsum: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marguerite and the Man-Eating Lion!
Homer: Give that cat hell, Marguerite!
Marge: Homer? What are you doing here?
Homer: I wouldn’t miss this show for all the Duff in the world! And don’t worry, I brought Lisa along so you know I’m a caring father.
Lisa: My soul is in agony watching this poor lion get frightened into performing.
Homer: Well, that still counts as keeping you safe.
Marguerite: Umm, here, kitty kitty. It’s hors d’oeuvre time…
Bart: Yipes! Its chain broke. Marguerite is gonna be that lion’s lunchable!
Marge: This is horrible! Close your eyes, kids!
Homer: Oh no. I came for a show and a show’s what I’m gonna get!
Marge: Homer, what are you doing?
Homer: Dialing down the growl on that cat by getting him drunk. And maybe me a little as well.
Make Homer Feed the Lion Hippo Juice- 4hrs
Make Marge Cover Bart and Lisa’s Eyes- 4hrs
Make Lisa Look Away- 4hrs
Make Bart Take a Peek- 4hrs
Collect Cotton Candy- x195. 4hrs.
Homer: If you really think about it, we’re all kinda living in cages…
Carl: Wow, what a show!
Lenny: Yeah, this circus taught me to feel good about my drinking problem.
Wiggum: It made me want a man-eating lion for the force!
Lou: Chief, no! We’re supposed to befriend the community we serve.
Wiggum: Always the wet blanket, aren’t you Lou?
Hippo Juice to Go
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: Our plan worked, Burnsum. We’re now the most popular circus in Springfield!
Burnsum: And due to the drunken heroics of this dullard we’re now the talk of the town.
Homer: If you’ve got a gift, use it.
Bart: So what’s next, Burnsum? Are you going to add animal oddities to our freak show?
Burnsum: Actually, there’s another town with money in need of a circus. Shelbyville. What say you, Bailey?
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: I’ll start pouring the hippo juice.
Make Bart Get Laid Off From the Circus – 4hrs
Make Burnsum Head to Shelbyville- 4hrs
Make Ding-A-Ling Ringmaster Get the Hippo Juice- 4hrs
Bart: I can’t believe Burnsum just up and left. I lost my first job. I finally feel like I’m Homer’s kid.
Lisa: I for one am glad they’re gone. Those circuses demean everyone and everything they touch.
Homer: But they did give us all jobs.
Bart: I never saw you doing anything.
Homer: I was quality control for the hippo juice.
Ding A Ling Ringmaster: The lions are loose! Everyone run for your lives!
Homer: Oh, and making sure the lions were locked up.
Lisa: Oh God, what do we do?!
Homer: Quick! Show the event completion panel! Nothing can happen once that appears!
And that’s it my friends, the exciting conclusion of the Cirque du Springfield Event!
Thoughts on the event? Did it end like you thought it would? Did you get your Hippo Juce? What do you think we’ll see next? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!