Should You Buy Sgt. Sausage?

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Spending actual cash on donuts for a character is back in TSTO.  This is something EA’s been rolling out over the last few years, and it’s a new bonus for actually spending cash on donuts. (instead of just farming them)  Where they attach a premium, limited-time, character to one of the donut bundles sometimes in addition to bonus donuts.

And I want to be perfectly clear…you do not need to buy these characters to complete an event.  You can still play this game, and complete all the tasks and prizes, 100% free.  These cash-for-character items are a new type of premium currency…because donuts have been so devalued with donut farming.

This time around we’re being offered Sgt. Sausage,  a premium character, for a tray of 132 Donuts ($9.99 in the US)..no bonus this time.  While it’s hard for me to sit here and tell you if you should or shouldn’t spend actual cash on the game (spoiler, I think you should always spend at least a small amount…even if it’s $.99/year on the game if it brings you joy and you want to see it continue) I thought I’d do a quick breakdown of Sgt. Sausage, his tasks, questline and other details you may be curious about.

So let’s consider this an abbreviated Should I Buy….

So what is the deal?  When you can find it in the Currency Tab of your Store (also by hitting Get More)…

Basically, spend $9.99 on a Tray of 132 donuts and you get the Sgt. Sausage character.

And yes, for those outside of the US I know my price is probably lower than yours.  EA only charges 9.99 USD for this package…anything over that that you are currently paying goes to Google/Apple/Amazon for Tax and Duty etc.  EA only collects the 9.99. 

And again, I’m glad EA went back to the $9.99 price point for these and happy it’s a full character.

So here’s a breakdown on Sgt. Sausage…

-Full character
-Voiced
-Comes with a complete set of tasks
-Comes with a questline
-Some really fun visual/animated tasks

Here’s a look at the task list

Sgt. Sausage’s Permanent Tasks…

And here’s the full dialogue version of the questline:

The Imaginarium of Sgt. Sausage Pt. 1
Sgt Sausage starts

Sgt Sausage: Staff Sergeant Simpson, do we have another crucial mission in service to this incomparable country?
Homer: We do indeed, Sergeant. I have a lot of work to take care of today and it can’t wait another minute. Oh, and while we’re at it, maybe I should go by “Captain” from now on. Or “General”, whichever one’s better.
Sgt Sausage:Sir, yes, sir!
Make Sgt. Sausage Follow Homer to “Work”- 4hrs
Marge: Homie, I just got a call from Chief Wiggum. It seems a certain someone drove their car into City Hall and stole a replica of Jebediah Springfield’s musket.
Homer: Ah, classic Barney.
Marge: It wasn’t Barney.
Homer: Huh. Doesn’t seem like Lenny, but you never really know a person, you know?
Marge: It was you, Homer!
Homer: It wasn’t my fault! Sgt. Sausage dared me to do it! Also, isn’t this musket awesome?
Marge: No more excuses, Homer! These imaginary friends of yours only ever get you into trouble. Either they go, or I do!
Homer: Marge, I can’t control what I imagine.
Marge: Yes, you can!
Homer: Fine, goodbye imaginary friends. Never come back.
Sgt Sausage: …
Stradivarius Cain: …
Homer: That means everyone. You, too, God.
God: D’oh!

The Imaginarium of Sgt. Sausage Pt. 2
Sgt Sausage starts

Sgt Sausage: I can’t believe it’s over. Homer and I were meant to be brothers in arms until the end. Without Homer imagining me, I am neither sergeant nor sausage. What purpose do I now serve, the last, lone soldier on the breakfast buffet table of life?  Who will remember me when the angelic busboys descend to clear away these final warming trays?
Stradivarius Cain: I’ll remember you, Sgt. Sausage.
Sgt Sausage: Thanks, Cain. That means a lot.
Stradivarius Cain: It’s been a wonderful time spent with you all these years inside Homer’s mind.
Sgt Sausage: Let’s not get mushy. Sausages should never get mushy.
Make Sgt. Sausage Contemplate Existence- 4hrs
Make Stradivarius Cain Get Mushy- 4hrs
Sgt Sausage: What makes Homer Simpson so special anyway? I don’t need him to define me. I am a patriot. I have nine yellow mustard hearts. I’m brave, loyal, lightly-seasoned, and surprisingly low in cholesterol!

The Imaginarium of Sgt. Sausage Pt. 3
Sgt Sausage starts

Sgt Sausage: Oh, God, I am nothing without Homer! I need someone, anyone, to believe in me! Hey, pal, you look like someone whose creative center is free from the tethers of reality. You wanna hang out?
Lovejoy: I knew I should have stayed away from this part of town! *runs away*
Sgt Sausage: What about you, ponytail man?
CBG: Be gone, Army Hot Dog. My imagination is at full capacity regarding obscure comic book characters and references come to life.
Make Sgt. Sausage Cruise for a Fix- 4hrs
Make Lovejoy Pray the Imaginary Away- 4hrs
Sgt Sausage: This is hopeless. I’ll never find someone who could ever measure up to Homer. Who else could drink beer like Homer? Or miss the point of a joke like Homer? Or clear out a foxhole with a burp like Homer?
Barney: Hey Mr. Army Man, is this seat taken? *belches*
Sgt Sausage: …be still my beating fillers…

The Imaginarium of Sgt. Sausage Pt. 4
Sgt Sausage starts

Barney: I gotta tell ya, Sarge, I don’t think I’ve ever spent a better day with someone in my entire life. Drinking beers together along the boardwalk, passing out together on the beach, throwing up on that lifeguard. Together.
Sgt Sausage: Yeah…*sigh*
Barney: So…you wanna come in for a night cap?
Sgt Sausage: I…better not. I think I passed my limit of imaginary beers an hour ago.
Barney: Hmm, yeah, you’re probably right. I’m supposed to call the hospital any time I beat my old high score on the breathalyzer at Moe’s.
Sgt Sausage: That was actually just the handle on the Love Tester, Barney. And yes – you should call the hospital.
Make Sgt. Sausage Take a Long Walk- 4hrs
Make Barney Call the Hospital- 4hrs
Sgt Sausage: Look, Barney, we need to talk. I’m sorry, but…this just isn’t working.
Barney: What? No, Sarge, you can’t mean that! I got three kegs for our forty-eight-hour-aversary. What am I supposed to do with them?
Sgt Sausage: You’ll think of something, soldier. I believe in you.

The Imaginarium of Sgt. Sausage Pt. 5
Sgt Sausage starts

Sgt Sausage: This is it. I’m on my own for the first time ever. Everything I ever needed to feel whole was inside me the entire time.
Homer: That’s right, old pal. I’ve been in here all along. I’m a dream within a dream, like in that weird movie where the guy spins the top at the end and everyone pretends to understand…
Make Sgt. Sausage Talk to His Imaginary Friend- 4hrs

That’s pretty much it on Sgt. Sausage. A fun character, with a funny questline.  I’m still debating getting him, if I do it’ll likely be right before the event ends.

What are your thoughts on Sgt. Sausage?  Have you made the purchase?  Will you be making the purchase? Thoughts on the questline and tasks?  Sound off below you know we love hearing from you!