Super Safi’s Monday Morning Musings 119 – Australia

Morning Musically-Minded, Medically-Minded, Masticators!

(Today’s post is sponsored by the letter “M”)

Over the past 600+ episodes, The Simpsons has taken us on an amazing journey involving music, science, and food to name a few concepts.

And what better way to start your week, than by discussing some of these concepts Monday morning?

So let’s get started this week by taking a tour to a country that plays a role in the one hundred and nineteenth episode of our favourite family The Simpsons, Australia.

In the one hundredth and nineteenth episode of The Simpsons, Bart vs. Australia (Season 06, Episode 16), Bart and Lisa are raising bathroom products in the sink. But Lisa keeps winning because the water flows counterclockwise. Lisa explains this is due to the Coriolis effect. She explains all water in the Northern Hemisphere flows counterclockwise and all water in the Southern Hemisphere flows clockwise.

To prove Lisa is true, Bart calls a number of countries in the Southern Hemisphere. When Lisa points out its super expensive, Bart makes a collect call to Australia.

There he speaks to a little boy who confirms water flows clockwise. But when the boy’s father gets the bill for the collect call, Bart is in trouble.

Bart: “Mom, Dad, just so you don’t hear any wild rumors, I’m being indicted for fraud in Australia.”
Homer: “That’s no reason to block the TV.”

So they are visited by a US government representative:

Evan Conover: “Oh, my. Hello, I’m Evan Conover with the US State Department.” [hands Marge his business card]
Marge: [reading the business card] ““Undersecretary for International Protocol: Brat and Punk Division.””
Evan Conover: “Unfortunately, Bart, your little escapade could not have come at a worse time. Americo-Australianian relations are at an all-time low. As I’m sure you remember, in the late 1980s, the US experienced a short-lived infatuation with Australian culture. For some bizarre reason, the Aussies thought this would be a permanent thing. Of course, it wasn’t.”

Evan Conover: “Well, it’s too late to merely pay back the money, but as a sign of good faith to our Australian friends, we’d like to imprison Bart for five years.”
Homer: “That’s tough but fair. Boy, go with the man.”
Marge: “No, no, no! No! I’m not going to have my son go to jail over some silly tiff with Australia. You’ll just have to find some other country to have relations with.”
Evan Conover: “You’re sure, now? The prison train is sailing. (Marge hugs Bart tighter) OK, I’m not hearing a lot of support for prison.”
Evan Conover: “There is one other option. They’ll drop the charges if Bart makes a public apology in Australia.”
Homer: “All Bart has to do is apologize and we get a free trip to Australia?”
Evan Conover: “Mm, hmm.
Bart: “I can handle that. I’m an expert at phony apologies.”
Marge: “Bart!”
Bart (with phony sincerity): “I’m sorry.”
Marge: “That’s better.”
Bart: “Heh heh heh…”

So the Simpsons get sent to the US Embassy in Australia.

There they meet the US Ambassador to Australia who informs them everything is set for Bart to issue his apology at the Australian parliament at 3pm. He then asks if the Simpsons have any questions. Bart asks if the toilet water flows clockwise.

The Ambassador informs them they have a special device that makes the water flow counterclockwise (“the correct American way“) to combat homesickness.

Bart makes his apology, but learns that he must get a ‘booting’. An Australian custom of being kicked in the butt by a giant boot.

Homer: “When will you Australians learn? In America, we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better. The streets are safe. Old people strut confidently in the darkest alleys. And the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer-programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free! ‘Cus as the old saying goes, “let your children run wild and free”.”

While Homer and Bart escape back to the Embassy, joined by the Marge, Lisa, and Maggie, the Embassy still has to deal with the issue of Bart’s transgression.

Ambassador: “We did it! We’ve worked out a compromise that will allow both nations to save face.”
Evan Conover: “We’ve argued them down to…a booting.”
Everyone: “What?!”
Ambassador: “The Prime Minister just wants to kick you once, through the gate, with a regular shoe.”
Evan Conover: “I believe it’s a wingtip.”
Marge: “No deal! This is my son we’re talking about. Sure, he’s no perfect, but who is in this workaday world?”
Bart: “Mom, wait! [he goes to look at the toilet swirling machine] It’s time for me to bend over and receive my destiny.”

But when it’s time for the kick, Bart  stays true to his nature.

Prime Minister of Australia: “That’s it lad. This is for the Commonwealth of Australia.”
[the Prime Minister of Australia gets ready to boot Bart’s butt]
Bart: “And this is for the United States of America!”
[Bart lowers his pants and moons the Australians with “Don’t tread on me” written on his butt while he hums the The Star-Spangled Banner]

But besides what we saw about the land down under, let’s learn a little bit more info on Australia:

Australia

The Commonwealth of Australia, is a sovereign country comprising the mainland of the Australian continent, the island of Tasmania, and numerous smaller islands. It lies in the Pacific Ocean. It’s capital is Canberra and it’s largest city is Sydney. Other notable cities include Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane, Cairns, Darwin, Adelaide to name a few. Australia is the oldest, flattest, and driest inhabited continent, with the least fertile soils

The country is home to an estimated 26 million citizens. The country is the 6th largest in terms of surface area at 7,617,930 km² (2,941,300 square miles). Their official and national language is English. The official currency is the Australian Dollar (AUD).

The overall life expectancy at birth is 83.1 years; 80.9 years for males and 85.4 years for females (all three higher than Germany’s 81.2 years; 78.8 years for males and 83.6 years for females from Musings 46, Morocco’s 76.1 years; 73.0 years for males and 79.3 years for females from Musings 42 and Albania’s 78.5 years; 75.8 years for males and 81.4 years for females from Musings 11). The country’s total fertility rate is 1.73 (much lower than Morocco’s 2.59 children born per woman and higher than Albania’s 1.51 and higher than Germany’s 1.60).

Australia’s predominant religion is Christianity. 43.9% of the population is Christian, 38.9% are atheist or irreligious, 3.2% are Muslims, 2.7% are Hindus, and 2.4% are Buddhists.

The flag of Australia is made of a blue field with the Union Jack in the upper hoist quarter—augmented with a large white seven-pointed star (the Commonwealth Star) and a representation of the Southern Cross constellation, made up of five white stars (one small five-pointed star and four, larger, seven-pointed stars).

The ancestors of Aboriginal Australians began arriving from south east Asia approximately 65,000 years ago, during the last ice age. Arriving by sea, they settled the continent and had formed approximately 250 distinct language groups by the time of European settlement, maintaining some of the longest known continuing artistic and religious traditions in the world. Australia obtained it’s independence from the United Kingdom on 1 January 1901.

Australian cuisine is heavily influenced by the first European settlers, the British. It includes dishes like fish and chips and like the Australian meat pie (similar to British steak pie).

The most popular sports in Australia are Cricket and Football (aka Soccer). The Australian men’s national cricket team has won the ICC World Cup a record five times (in 1987, 1999, 2003, 2007, and 2015).

Australia is also known for it’s animals, including the koala bear and the kangaroo.

Of the thousands of notable Australian personalities, a few include media mogul Rupert Murdoch, athlete and activist Cathy Freeman, actor Geoffrey Rush, actress Cate Blanchett, actor Mel Gibson, actress Nicole Kidman, actor Hugh Jackman, singer Kylie Minogue, actor Chris Hemsworth, actress Margot Robbie, actor Heath Ledger, comedian and actress Rebel Wilson to name just a few.

Now that we’ve learned more about Australia, be sure to come back next week when we continue our Monday morning musings with the next episode of The Simpsons.

What’s your favourite Simpsons country connection? What about your favourite Simpsons Bart getting in trouble episode? Have you ever been to Australia? Have you ever made an ill advised international phone call? Sound off in the comments below. You know we love hearing from you.