THOH XXXIV: Act 3 Dialog Recap

THOH 2023 splash
If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for this act …

In this post it’s just the Act 3 Prize Track –
• The Monsters Mash parts 1 to 5

The Monsters Mash, part 1:
● Old Country House (Building)
Old Country House
Xylem: Could you stop hitting us now?! We gave up a week ago.
Taekwon Dracula: Just making sure you plant nerds know who’s top predator. Us!
Count Dracula: I’m with you, my blood-sucking buddy!
Taekwon Dracula: Don’t “buddy” me! You old monsters are a disgrace!
Frankensteins Monster: What you mean? Frankenstein plenty scary!
Kung Fu Werewolf: What’s scary is how out of shape you are!
Mixed Martial Medusa: When’s the last time you beat up a trick-or-treater and stole his Halloween candy?
Werewolf: That’s just mean.
Kung Fu Werewolf: No. This is mean! *punches Werewolf*
Bart: Hey! You guys aren’t this jerky on your Ki-Ya Karate Monsters TV show.
Taekwon Dracula: Our agents deserve the credit. They hide our true nature.

• Collect Hand Axes – x 115 Hand Axes, act 3 currency
• Make Bart Be Disappointed by His Heroes – 4 hours
• Make Taekwon Dracula Challenge Dracula – 4 hours
• Make Dracula Suddenly Remember an Urgent Appointment – 4 hours
• Make Homer Root for Monster Fights – 4 hours

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Monsters Mash, part 2:
● Carnival Haunted House (Building)
Carnival Haunted Houst
Taekwon Dracula: It’s disappointing that none of the monsters in this town have a backbone!
Kung Fu Werewolf: How ’bout the rest of you knuckleheads? Who is the mightiest among you?
Wolfcastle: Don’t look at me. I’m only Hollywood movie star tough. I’m really a weakling.
Ramrod: And us bikers only scare accountants and lawyers. We’re just bullies with club patches.
Homer: If you’re looking for the really powerful in our society, it’s the rich people.
Burns: That peon is correct. Now gaze upon my formidable magnificence!
Taekwon Dracula: So be it. We challenge this wire of a human to fight! KI-YA!
Burns: I fight with the almighty dollar. How big of a check do I have to write to send you and your monster friends packing?
Kung Fu Werewolf: Money means nothing to us! We only value strength in personal combat.
Burns: In that case…Smithers, prepare my planetary escape pod!

• Collect Hand Axes – x 155 Hand Axes, act 3 currency
• Make Taekwon Dracula Challenge Everyone in Springfield to Fight – 4 hours
• Make Springfielders Make Excuses Not to Fight Monsters – x 5, 4 hours
• Make Homer Throw Rich People Under the Bus – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Be Unsurprised Rich People Are Fleeing – 4 hours
• Make Burns Try to Escape the Earth – 4 hours
• Make Itchy and Scratchy Try to Ditch the Earth – 4 hours

Burns: So long, suckers! *escape pod sputters and crashes*
Aristotle Amadopolis: Say, Scratchy, is there room on your rocket ship for a rich raconteur such as myself?
Scratchy: It’s a cartoon rocket that Itchy will only explode in a horrible and humorous way.
Aristotle Amadopolis: That doesn’t answer my question.

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Monsters Mash, part 3:
● Itchy and Scratchy Rocket (Decoration)
Itchy And Scratchy Rocket
Lisa: Mayor Quimby, you’re the leader of this city! You have to lead a resistance to the Karate Monsters!
Quimby: Er…as your leader, I’ve only ever thought of myself. That will continue now.
Homer: This stinks! The monsters have us locked up like POWs.
Lenny: Hey, that gives me an idea! We should bribe the monster guards with apple strudel.
Homer: Mmm…monster strudel.

• Collect Hand Axes – x 155 Hand Axes, act 3 currency
• Make Lisa Try to Get the Mayor to Actually Lead – 4 hours
• Make Quimby Make Excuses Not to Lead Anything – 4 hours
• Make Miss Springfield Start Dating Taekwon Dracula – 4 hours
• Make Lenny Try to Bribe Monsters With Apple Strudel – 4 hours
• Make Homer Eat All the Strudel – 4 hours

Homer: Oh, no! I ate all the monster strudel!
Carl: We figured you would. So, we made a secret second batch.
Homer: D’oh! I mean woo-hoo! I’ll take a piece!
Carl: Not for you, Homer.
Lenny: Say, mister Karate Monsters…wanna try some delicious strudel in exchange for releasing us?
Mixed Martial Medusa: Fruit pastry for your freedom? You’ll have to do better than that!
Lenny: What if I added a brown sugar drizzle?

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Monsters Mash, part 4:
● Burns’ Escape Pod (Decoration)
Burns' Escape Pod
Patty: Maybe living in this monster apocalypse hellscape isn’t completely terrible.
Selma: We still have cigarettes…
Patty: And making people wait in line at the DMV.
Lisa: Guys, let’s not settle for this life. We haven’t tried to get rid of the Ki-Ya Karate Monsters yet.
Homer: It’s too late for that, Lisa. Civilization has collapsed. It’s time to prove I’m a good father and take you on a hike across the country.
Lisa: What? That won’t prove anything.
Bart: I’d do it, Lis. Afterall, when does lardbutt ever get off the couch?

• Collect Hand Axes – x 155 Hand Axes, act 3 currency
• Make Springfielders Complain About the Monster Apocalypse – x 5, 4 hours
• Make Homer Try to Take Lisa on a Trip Across the Country – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Avoid Hiking with Homer – 4 hours

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP

The Monsters Mash, part 5:
● Chainsaw Willie (Outfit for Willie)
Chainsaw Willie
Marge: Lisa, what are you doing?
Lisa: Giving us a chance at freedom! I’ve nursed the Xylem leader back to life.
Xylem: To clarify, I wasn’t dead. Just a bit wilted.
Homer: I know I always ask this but, why do we need vegetables?
Lisa: By combining forces — humans, Xylem, and the plant aliens — we can defeat the Ki-Ya Karate Monsters.
Marge: That’s a great idea!
Xylem: That’s a terrible idea!
Bart: Stay out of this, broccoli face!

• Collect Hand Axes – x 195 Hand Axes, act 3 currency
• Make Lisa Nurse Xylemites Back to Life – 4 hours
• Make Homer Compare Xylem to Root – 4 hours
• Make Xylem Decide to Take Up Martial Arts – 4 hours
• Make Bart Be Embarrassed by Alien Posers – 4 hours

Xylem: Stand back and witness the martial arts might of…
Mighty Oak Leader: Tree Kwondo!
Mighty Oak Leader: Tai Chi Chestnut!
Mighty Oak Leader: Jiu Jitsu Juniper!
Bart: Wow! Those are some awesome tree names!
Lisa: More importantly you guys learned martial arts to fight the Ki-Ya Karate Monsters!
Xylem: No. We learned martial arts so we could hang out with the cool monsters.
Lisa: How did I not see that coming?
Kung Fu Werewolf: Welcome to the dojo, guys!
Xylem: We’re in? Just like that?
Taekwon Dracula: Sure. We’ve been wanting to add some houseplants to our place.
Xylem: How did I not see that coming?

Reward: 200 $$s, 20 XP


That wraps up Act 3, back when it’s time for Act 4.

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