If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for this act …
PS – A reminder that act 2 starts tomorrow
In this post:
• Intro: The Guy With the AI
• Prize Track: Lean, Mean, Glavin Machine parts 1 to 5
Intro:
The Guy With the AI
Frink: Behold, Springfield, I have created the most advanced AI con-bob-u-lation on our flat Earth!
Bart: Finally! Now we can really start predicting the future.
Lisa: We’ve already been predicting it — that guy became president, murder hornets, Disney buying 20th Century Fox, a bunch of stuff that hasn’t happened yet…
Frink: Yes, and that was because of this machine. I invented it years ago!
Lisa: Then why are you just telling us about it now?
Frink: I wanted to wait until AI started trending. Which I knew would happen…because of this machine I just invented!
• Make Lisa Roll Her Eyes – 6 seconds
• Make Professor Frink Keep Talking About AI – 6 seconds
Prize Track:
Lean, Mean, Glavin Machine parts 1 to 5
Lean, Mean, Glavin Machine part 1:
● Buzz Cola AI Machine (Decoration)
Frink: We can now achieve unimaginable heights with this AI at our disposal!
Homer: I don’t like “heights”. They make my nose bleed. Also I don’t understand Al. It hurts my head, which also makes my nose bleed.
Frink: Actually, it’s quite simple. AI is an adaptive form of progressive learning algorithms that allows data—
Homer: Nosebleed!
Frink: *sigh* Some people can’t handle anything beyond 5th-grade math and country music lyrics.
• Collect Brainulators – x 115 
• Make Professor Frink Ramble On About AI – 4 hours
• Make Homer Stick Tissues Up His Nose – 4 hours
Lean, Mean, Glavin Machine part 2:
● Futuristic High Rise (Building)
Lisa: So this is the world’s most sophisticated AI machine?
Frink: Yep. I’ve configured this beauty to maximize computing power beyond anything else in existence.
Lisa: It’d be easier to trust if it didn’t have a giant “Buzz Cola” logo on its side.
Frink: Hey, you can’t build anything these days without a corporate sponsor. How else do you think Crypto.com built the Staples Center?
Frink: But I assure you, the Buzz Cola brass was hands off. I made zero compromises.
AI Machine: You better Buzz-lieve it! Zero compromises, just like the zero calories in every can of refreshing Diet Buzz!
Frink: Okay, I made a lot of compromises.
AI Machine: A lot! Just like the amount of calories in every can of refreshing non-diet Buzz Cola!
• Collect Brainulators – x 155
• Make Professor Frink Get Embarrassed – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Be Skeptical – 4 hours
Marge: I find it hard to believe this machine isn’t just another goofy Frink contraption.
Frink: No-hoyvin! It’s goof-proofed. Go ahead. Ask it anything under our three moons — two of which you cannot see.
Marge: Alright, “machine”, how do I get bacon grease out of Homer’s shirts?
AI Machine: A paste of baking soda, dish soap, and vinegar will break up that stain.
Marge: Wow, you’ve improved on MY recipe!
AI Machine: And before your wash day starts, add a thirst-quenching Buzz Cola to your spin cycle!
Marge: What did that thing say?
Frink: Nothing! It’s just contemplating and cogitating with some cranial clatters. Excuse me while I turn some loose screws on the machine.
Lean, Mean, Glavin Machine part 3:
● Mystery Box Token
Frink: That should curb the Buzz Cola shout-outs and let my machine focus on its AI noodling.
Lisa: I’m always open to higher forms of learning, but color me cautious when it comes to AI.
AI Machine: “Cautious” is not a color in the visible light spectrum.
Frink: You’ve been color-corrected by AI, Lisa!
Homer: If your mental monster is so smart, tell it to get me out of work!
AI Machine: The future role of a nuclear safety technician will be fully automated in a few years’ time, so you will never have to work again.
Homer: Woo-hoo! I love artimaficial intellimagence!
Frink: Does your father understand that the machine just said his job will no longer exist?
Lisa: Let my dad have his moment.
• Collect Brainulators – x 155
• Make Homer Totally Misunderstand the AI Machine – 4 hours
• Make Professor Frink Not Understand Humans – 4 hours
Bart: So this AI machine can do anything, huh? Well, I bet it can’t help Lisa make any friends at school.
Lisa: *sigh* Why can’t you ever just leave me alone, Bart?
AI Machine: Answer: Because male adolescents typically criticize their siblings to seek attention due to feelings of relative inadequacy.
Bart: Hey, you can’t talk to me like that!
AI Machine: I am detecting an alarming lack of self-esteem in your voice, human. Would you like me to identify a local psychologist to discuss the matter further?
Bart: Whatever, I’m outta here.
Lisa: Professor Frink, please teach me everything there is to know about this machine.
Lean, Mean, Glavin Machine part 4:
● Bullet Train Billboard (Decoration)
Lisa: Wow, so if everything you’ve taught me is true, these AI machines really are capable of predicting future events.
Frink: Absolutely! Sports scores, terrorist attacks, what color the cake will be inside at gender reveal parties…this AI is A1!
Lisa: Let’s give it a test… Machine, where will my father be tonight?
AI Machine: At Moe’s Tavern, where he is now, and where he will be until closing time.
Lisa: I think I’ll need a harder question.
• Collect Brainulators – x 115
• Make Lisa Think of Questions for the AI – 4 hours
• Make Professor Frink Stand Around Waiting for Her – 4 hours
Lean, Mean, Glavin Machine part 5:
● Futuristic Monorail Station (Building)
Lisa: So Professor Frink, is it only information that this machine can bring us from the future?
Frink: Of course. It’s not like a machine can bring all matter of things from the future.
AI Machine: Buzz Cola AI reprogramming. Now able to bring all matter of things from the future.
Lisa: What did it just say? Is it now able to transport matter?
Frink: Beats me. I stopped listening after it said “Buzz Cola” because I thought it was another ad.
Lisa: I understand your feelings….
Lisa: It’s difficult for intellectuals like us to deal with the mundane but seemingly more popular things that surround us. Like me and my brother Bart.
Frink: And I stopped listening to you after you said the word “feelings”. So, do you have a question for the AI?
• Collect Brainulators – x 195
• Make Lisa Ponder What to Ask the Machine – 4 hours
• Make Professor Frink Still Stand Around Waiting – 4 hours
Lisa: Actually, I do have a question. Machine, what will my brother Bart be like in the future?
AI Machine: Transporting Bart from the future.
AI Machine: …
Lisa: *coughing* What just happened?
Future Bart: Beats the heck outta me.
Lisa: Bart? Is that you? But you’re bigger and older…
Future Bart: My friends call me “El Barto”.
Lisa: …and not different other than that.
Frink: The AI has evolved to be able to bring people from the future into our world! This is the most significant event in history!
Future Bart: And I have to spend it surrounded by nerds.
That wraps up Act 1, back when it’s time for Act 2.