Hey hey tappers. So EA dropped a mini-event on all of us based on America’s Independence Day but with a new thing came a whalloping amount of new items that you could potentially spend your hard-earned money on in the game. This inevitably leads our fellow Addicts to wonder where the SIIB is for said stuff. While I am not the usual moderator who types up my thoughts on this, I didn’t want to leave y’all hanging while our der Alissa the Amazing a much deserved and needed vacation with her beautiful familia. I decided to lump everything together in one humongous Wookiee-sized post for everyone. It may be a little different than what your used to but if it’s awful, Alissa will return and we’ll be back to our normal program. Sometimes I wonder why Alissa let me out of the attic. Without further ado… info below the break.
Fair warning, this is a long post. New stuff is on top and old stuff is below it. I included links to any old posts and also the origin posts if those will help with your decision. I hope this is helpful. If something is left out, just ask questions in the comments.
Building/Decoration: Springfield National Park
Donut Price: 200 Donuts
Earns: $135, 15xp/4hrs
Size: 13×13
Where Did THAT Come From; Theodore Roosevelt & Springfield National Park
So my thoughts are this is a really cool offer but definitely a bit pricey at 200 Donuts. Add to that the frustration of the deal disappearing for some folks and it’s a divisive one. The history nerd in me had to snatch this up as I’m a big TR fan since I was a little boy and my dad took me to Sagamore Hill. The Park is big and is just a decoration but has animals appear and Teddy has a task there. Expensive but it is a premium character combo. There’s a 5% bonus to your town that this adds so that’s nice. Teddy’s questline is 7 parts with a bonus one including the other presidents. If you’re freemium, this is most likely a pass unless you love the character, premium is sort of based on opinion too. I think the dialogue is pretty funny and has a bt of history in it. I know this is gonna be one of those items people ask about in the future so if you want, and can get it, snatch it up. I love it.
Here’s a look at the questline that comes with it after Teddy appears with “Speak softly and show dialogue in a big font.”
My Fair Quimby Pt. 1
Teddy Roosevelt (TR) starts
TR: “Our country — this great Republic — means nothing unless it means the triumph of –”
WHAT THE– WHERE AM I? WHERE DID THE WHITE HOUSE GO, AND WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON WEARING PINCE NEZ EYEGLASSES?
Lisa: President Teddy Roosevelt! I was just wondering which ex-President would appear in Springfield this July fourth.
TR: You mean I’m not the first?
Lincoln: Not even close. Sorry. Nice glasses, by the way. *snickers*
Washington: Yeah. Super cool. You look awesome. *snickers*
TR: THESE GLASSES WERE THE HEIGHT OF FASHION IN MY DAY!
Lisa: I should explain how you got here. You see, every July fourth a rift in the pace-time continuum opens and… What are you doing?
TR: Knee bends. Vigorous squatting is the key to a powerful, manly physique.
Lisa: Okay, great… Anyway, as a champion of the national park system, what do you think of our new park?
TR: Beautiful. Now, if you’ll hand me that shotgun, I’m going to go hunt every living creature in it to death.
Make Teddy Go Hunting- 24hrs, Earns $1000, 225xp
Springfield Tea Party
Teddy Roosevelt (TR) starts
Washington: Well, now that Roosevelt’s here, I guess we know who the “Big Four” Presidents in U.S. history are.
Lincoln: That’s true. No reason to bring back any but the cream of the crop.
TR: Here’s to the best of the best: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt and Richard Nixon.
Nixon: Uh, yeah. Nice to be here.
Washington: I wonder which one of us is the greatest, though?
Lincoln: I know. Like, we’re ALL great. Definitely. But if you HAD to choose one, is it me? Is it you?
Nixon: Geez, that’s a tough one. Four really strong contenders.
Lincoln: Let’s all go around and name the accomplishments we are most proud of.
Nixon: Oh, let’s not…
Lincoln: It’ll be fun. I’ll start. Freeing the slaves!
Washington: Winning the War of Independence!
TR: Reining in out-of-control corporations!
Nixon: Resigning before formal impeachment proceedings could begin!
Washington: …
Nixon: Er, uh, opening relations with China!
Too late, right? Yeah. Yeah, Dick Nixon thought so.
Make Presidents Argue About Legacy (send 4)- 12hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
My Fair Quimby Pt. 2
Teddy Roosevelt (TR) starts
Lisa: How was your hunt, Mr. President?
TR: Not bad. Shot a million rabbits. I don’t like rabbit meat, so I left them there. Still, fun stuff.
Lisa: Isn’t that kind of wasteful? I thought you believed in conservation?
TR: Say… how much do you want to bet I can lift that big rock over my head?
Lisa: Mr. President? I asked you a question?
TR: One… two… three…
Lisa: And… he’s doing knee bends again.
Homer: Man, this guy’s got a shorter attention span than Bart.
Lisa: Well, he was INCREDIBLY accomplished. An author, historian, statesman, explorer, businessman, naturalist… I guess you’d have to be a little hyper to do all that.
TR: I’m still the best arm-wrestler I know. Some men’s arms look bigger than mine, but I have excellent technique.
I went to a zoo, and you know tigers? I watched the tigers and I figured out why they’re so strong and I copied it and now no one can beat me.
Lisa: …
Homer: …
TR: I’m thirsty, Point me to the nearest tavern.
Make Teddy Take Refreshments (requires Moe’s Tavern)- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
TR: I do so enjoy sharing a pint of ale with the common man.
Lenny: Could you please stop calling us “the common man?”
Carl: And could you also maybe stop doing jumping jacks? It’s weird.
TR: I’m bored. I need a project. Are there any hills in town crawling with SPanish soldiers? I could storm one of those.
Homer: We stormed our last Spaniard hill a few months ago. Sorry.
TR: Any giant corporations in town I could bust up?
Lenny: Not really. Just Mr. Burns.
TR: Tell me about this “Mr. Burns”…
My Fair Quimby Pt. 3
Teddy Roosevelt (TR) starts
TR: So you’re basically telling me that Mr. Burns and his corporation run this town?
This is exactly why we must never allow corporations to grow too powerful.
Carl: I thought you were a Republican?
TR: What’s strange about a Republican being anti-big business?
Lenny: EVERRYTHING! If President Ronald Reagan could hear you, he’d never stop being sick.
TR: Ronald Reagan the future actor becomes future President? Now I’ve heard everything!
Gentleman, I busted up Standard Oil, and now I’m gonna bust up Standard Burns! Take me to your mayor!
Make Teddy Meet With Quimby (requires Town Hall/joint task with Quimby)- 2hrs, Earns $285, 67xp
My Fair Quimby Pt. 4
Teddy Roosevelt (TR) starts
TR: Mayor Quimby, all that is required to stem the tide of corporate greed is for men of courage to stand shouldr-to-shoulder.
Quimby: Hold on, this is good stuff. I want to write this down.
“Men… of… courage.” And where do we find such men?
TR: Why, you and I will be the men of courage. And together —
Quimby: Now see here! I am an inveterate coward, and proud of it!
TR: Not anymore, you’re not! We’re gonna go right at Mr. Burns, just like I stormed San Juan Hill! Charge!
Make Teddy Lead the Charge- 8hrs, Earns $420, 105xp
TR: When someone scream “charge!” that’s your cue to ante up and run laughing into the face of death.
Quimby: Yeah, see, huge coward. I thought I explained this to you.
Anyway, I heard the real heroes of your little charge up San Juan Hill were the Buffalo Soldier regiments.
But since you were a more convenient hero for the media than a group of black soldiers…
TR: One… two… three…
Quimby: As soon as things get uncomfortable, he goes back to the knee bends.
My Fair Quimby Pt. 5
Teddy Roosevelt (TR) starts
TR: I’ll make a man of you yet, Joe Quimby.
Quimby: Mr. Burns is too powerful. He’s got the nuclear plant, a basketball team, vast real estate holdings, and the best cupcake shop in town.
Homer: Really? He owns Lovin’ Cups?
Quimby: No, no. Mr. Burns’ cupcake shop is Sweet Emotions. It’s way better than Lovin’ Cups.
Homer: I oughts kill you for saying that!
TR: Grown men do not debate the merits of dessert treats! Quimby, grab your rucksack. We’re gonna toughen you up with a camping trip!
Make Teddy Go Camping With Quimby (joint task with Quimby)- 24hrs, Earns $1600, 375xp
TR: Quimby! You couldn’t even last one night in the woods? I woke up an hour before sunrise and I was all alone!
Quimby: You were not! I left behind a fact-finding committee to investigate the feasibility of future mayoral camping.
I eagerly look forward to their report. It should be finished in the next six months.
My Fair Quimby Pt. 6
Teddy Roosevelt (TR) starts
TR: Quimby, you may not be an outdoorsman, but there’s other ways to be tough.
Did you know I once gave a campaign speech moments after being shot in the chest?
Quimby: Good Lord. Why?
TR: Probably because I have poor self-esteem that I mask with extreme risk-taking behavior. Who knows? Here, I’ll do it again.
Quimby: No! Please don’t! This won’t teach me anything!
TR: Me first, then you!
Make Teddy Give a Speech- 60mins, Earns $105, 26xp
My Fair Quimby Pt. 7
Teddy Roosevelt (TR) starts
TR: Hoo boy. I’m not going to lie — that hurt. Wow. Okay Joe. Your turn to get shot.
Joe?
Joe?
Make Quimby Hide from Teddy- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
TR: There you are, Quimby! Have you no shame?
Quimby: Of course not! And whatever you say, It’s never stopped me from winning elections before.
TR: Well, I acted with courage, and won my presidential election all the same!
Quimby: ONE election! You won ONE election?
TR: See, I was intially the Vice President, but then McKinley was assassinated.
Then I ran for re-election the one time, then I wearied of politics and retired. Why?
Quimby: One election! I’m taking advice from a political noob!
TR: What does this term mean, “noob?”
Quimby: It means come back when you’ve been elected a half-dozen more times and MAYBE I’ll listen. Noob.
TR: I don’t appreciate your tone sir. Put up yer dukes and fight like a man.
Quimby: Hey look, a defenseless squirrel!
TR: Where? Out of my way! Get my gun and give me a clear shot!
Quimby: *chuckles* Noob.
Teddy Roosevelt’s Tasks
| Task | Length | Earns | Location |
| Give a Speech | 1hr | $105, 26xp | Outside |
| Take Refreshments | 4hrs | $260, 70xp | Moe’s Tavern |
| Lead the Charge | 8hrs | $420, 105xp | Outside |
| Catch up on History | 12hrs | $600, 150xp | Springfield Library |
| Go Hunting | 24hrs | $1,000, 225xp | Outside at Springfield National Park |
Phew… that was a long one. Next up…
Building/Decoration: Old Faithless
Donut Price: 40 Donuts
Size: 8×8
So this one is cool and offers a 2% bonus in your town. It’s a bit pricey at 40 donuts but not awful. I think this is one of those items that fits in better if you splurged on the National Park but I like it. It’s neat that it is animated and erupts on occassion (every two minutes?) but also if you tap on it. If you really want a geyser, get it. I think that premium players probably snatched it up immediately but freemium may be more on the fence. Ultimately up to you. I bought it, I like it, not a bad bonus for donuts ratio IMHO. No questline and just a decoration so those may be cons for folks.
For for the next items, Jebus bless Alissa that they’re old items and she already did the hard work. I included my thoughts if I thought they were helpful. I own all of these items.
If you really want fireworks in your town, get it but it’s pricey. I have two of these from the past but I didn’t go crazy. It’s expensive and for that bonus I would rather get the geyser. Up to you. Deifnitely a pass for freemium folks. Here’s Alissa’s Should I Spend Donuts on Fireworks, Candy & Puppy Dogs?
Origin: Episode Recap: Mathletes Feat
I think this is super cool. I already had one so I won’t be getting more but I’d add it to my town if I could afford it. Here’s Alissa’s Should I Spend Donuts on the Holo-Flag?
So this is a 20 donut increase from last year’s price and comes with fireworks that are freemium. I hate to say it but unless you absolutely have to have this… PASS. Here’s the post Alissa did last year that included it.
Origin: Whatever you are, be a good one.
It’s Abe Lincoln! So happy all the presidents were brought back for tappers to buy. This is my favorite of the four presidents in town. Here’s Alissa’s Should I Spend Donuts On: Abe Lincoln Again?!
Where Did THAT Come From; George Washington
The man who is regarded in America as the good GW and tops most lists as the Best. President. Ever. I’m a history nerd so I bought all the presidents but I adore having General Washington in my town. I love to have him swashbuckling all over my town year round or chopping on his cherry tree even if it’s not something he actually did. Here’s Alissa’s Should I Spend Donuts On George Washington & His Cherry Tree?
Where Did THAT Come From; President Nixon
Tricky Dick Nixon. Of the four presidents, he’s at the bottom of my list but I loved adding him to my town. Here’s what Alissa said. Should I Spend Donuts On Richard Nixon and the Scandal-gate Hotel?
Freedom origin: Episode Recap: Diggs
Where Did THAT Come From – Presidential Estate
So for those of us who got these items seperately, we spent 125 donuts so this is actually a deal, sort of. I like both of them but in the gammit of all these deals, I might pass. I wish the estate had come with President George Herbert Walker Bush so if I dind’t have the donuts to splurge, I’d have probably passed on this one. Here’s Alissa’s Should I Spend Donuts On the Presidential Estate? and Should I Spend Donuts On: Freedom the Falcon
Origin: Episode Recap: Yellow Badge of Cowardge
Hmmmm… this is probably a pass for me as I think as a premium or freemium player. It shoots off fireworks when tapped but otherwise just takes up space in your ocean. Here’s Alissa’s Should I Spend Donuts On the Fireworks Barge?
An accidental WDTCF; Rex Banner & the Nighthawk Diner
OMG… Rex Banner. This is my #1 pick for this event followed closely by Lincoln. I love this episode and the building just looks so cool. Not a bad price and really the cheapest offer this time around. Buy it, buy it, buy it if you can! Here’s what Alissa said last year when he returned. Should I Spend Donuts On: Rex Banner Again?!
And last but not least…
Where Did THAT Come From; All American Apu
It’s a really inexpensive skin and adds premium tasks for Apu. In my town, this is how Apu spends his days. I love this, it’s cheap, I think it’s a good buy. Here’s what Alissa wrote about it.
So there you go… one massive Should I Buy for all of the premium content for this mini-event. Hopefully it satisfied all you wants. What are your thoughts? Did you buy any of it? Sound off in the comments and keep on being the classy tappers I know you to be. Just remember this stuff is limited time (LEAVES JULY 6TH!!!) so don’t wait too long to make your decisions.
TTFN… Wookiee out!