Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
This event is FINALLY ready to end! With the event approaching its end date (Thursday morning), it’s time to finalize the Act 4 posts. And y’all know finalizing the posts means….time for full dialogue! Which oftentimes is the best part of the event.
Act 4 of this multi-event ushered in one new premium character to assist with the event. Hugh Jass is an all-new premium character for Springfield, who comes with a short questline.
So let’s take a look at the full dialogue for Pain in the Jass…
Pain in the Jass Pt. 1
Hugh Jass starts
Squeaky Voice Teen: Welcome to Palm Springfield Resort, sir. Do you have a reservation?
Hugh Jass: Yes. It should be under Jass, first name Hugh.
Squeaky Voice Teen: Indeed, I have your reservation right here. Are you here on business or for pleasure, sir?
Hugh Jass: Oh, well…I’m afraid things aren’t going too well with the wife. Lara kicked me out.
Squeaky Voice Teen: So…pleasure?
Hugh Jass: That’s fine.
Make Hugh Jass Check Into His Room- 30m
Squeaky Voice Teen: And here is your room key, Mr. Jass.
Hugh Jass: Great, thanks.
Squeaky Voice Teen: If you wouldn’t mind, please go to our website and fill out this survey on how well I served you today. It shouldn’t take more than five minutes, you’ll be entered into a drawing for a free drink at the bar, and anything below a score of ten means I lose my job.
Pain in the Jass Pt. 2
Hugh Jass starts
Hugh Jass: *making a phone call*
Phone: *goes to voicemail* Hi, you’ve reached the Jasses. I’m Lara, and I’m Hugh! We can’t come to the phone right now but if you just leave a message after the beep we’ll get back to you! *beep*
Hugh Jass: Lara, it’s me. Listen babe, I was a huge jerk. I’m sorry. I never should have said that about your mother. Let me come home and we can work this out.
Phone: *beep*
Hugh Jass: *sigh* Life is usually more funny than this.
Make Hugh Jass Take a Contemplative Dip- 1hr
Hugh Jass: *walks into the hotel bar*
Squeaky Voice Teen: Sir, please don’t sit on the chairs without drying off first.
Hugh Jass: You work in the bar, too? You know how to mix a decent drink, kid?
Squeaky Voice Teen: As long as the ingredients are in the name.
Hugh Jass: Great. I’ll have a screwdriver.
Squeaky Voice Teen: Uh…how about a swizzle stick?
Pain in the Jass Pt. 3
Hugh Jass starts
Hugh Jass: No offense, but this drink you mixed just isn’t hitting the spot. You know, I’ll be honest, nothing has really satisfied me ever since…
*a single tear falls* Since that first Flaming Moe I drank.
Squeaky Voice Teen: … According to my bartender’s handbook, I’m supposed to say, “Go to her, Hugh.”
Hugh Jass: You’re right. Thank you for that heartfelt suggestion. *runs out the door*
Make Hugh Jass Go to Moe’s for a Flaming Moe- 2hrs
Hugh Jass: Proprietor, I would like a Flaming Moe.
Moe: Sorry, we don’t serve those no more. They came between me and my best friend, and the health department threatened to shut us down, so I made a vow to never again–
Hugh Jass: I’ll pay five hundred dollars.
Moe: You want a little umbrella in it?
Pain in the Jass Pt. 4
Hugh Jass starts
Hugh Jass: And so then…then I said “Stop leering at her, sir. That’s my WIFE!” And then I…I socked him in the nose, with my hands. These hands here.
Barney: Hahaha, oh man that’s a great story. *belch*
Hugh Jass: Moe, gimme another Flaming You. Extra flamey, sir.
Moe: Alright, Hugh. You’ve had three already. And…I’m kicking myself as I say this, considering how much you’re paying for these, but I think you’ve had enough. How’s about I call you a cab?
Hugh Jass: I said good day, sir!
Moe: What?
Hugh Jass: Listen here you… Either you gimme my wife back or you gimme another of them Flaming Moes. Your call, bucko.
Make Hugh Jass Have One Too Many Flaming Moes- 4hrs
Pain in the Jass Pt. 5
Hugh Jass starts
Hugh Jass: *slowly opens his eyes* Where…where am I?
Barney: You’re in the hospital.
Hugh Jass: The hospital? How did I get here?
Barney: You had one too many Flaming Moe’s, you went up on the roof, danced around, and fell off. We’ve all been there. *belch*
Hugh Jass: And…you saved me?
Barney: No, you landed on me and broke a few of my bones. I’m checked into the room next door.
Hugh Jass: Oh, sorry.
Dr Hibbert: Mr. Jass? There’s someone here to see you.
Hugh Jass: *gasp* Lara?
Make Hugh Jass Reconcile With His Wife- 1hr
Hugh Jass: I have to tell you…you really helped me out. You were the glue that held me together. I haven’t had a friend like that in a long time.
Squeaky Voice Teen: It’s the least I could do…is what the bartender’s handbook says I should say.
And this concludes the premium dialogue for Hugh Jass
Thoughts on Act 4 of the event? Did you buy Hugh? Thoughts on the dialogue? Event? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!