Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Looks like EA dropped an episode tie-in in our laps this morning! A fun little tie-in to correspond with this weekend’s all new episode of The Simpsons that airs this weekend. And with it comes a brand new character…Jay!
Of course Jay comes with an all new questline so let’s take a look at the full dialogue version of this questline now….
Big Jamshed Pt. 1
Sanjay: Mys son little Jamshed is coming back to Springfield. He’s been, as they say, stuck in limbo!
Homer: I’m not too good at limbo. Those sticks are racist against fat guys.
Sanjay: Not that limbo! I am talking about the state of transitional oblivion! In other words, college.
Make Sanjay Prepare a Room for Jamshed- If you don’t have Sanjay Apu will do this task, 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Homer: Word on the street’s that your son is taking over your spot at the Kwik-E-Mart.
Sanjay: It’s true. I have de-cockroached my last squishee machine. I want to do something different with my life.
Cool Homer: Ah, the old midlife crisis. Too bad you’re not young, rad, hip, ballin’ and buzzfeedin’ like me, Daddy-o.
Sanjay: Mr. Simpson, you’re walking monument of a midlife crisis.
Cool Homer: Shows what you know, Dr. Hibbert said according to my cholesterol count my midlife crisis happened when I was 20.
Big Jamshed Pt. 2
Jay starts
Jay: I’m ready to take my jam to the Kwik-E-Mart! And all it took was a $200,000 business degree. Now it’s time for some hot yoga!
Sanjay: Ah, my son – with maturity you have abandoned your anti-traditional views!
Jay: Nah, Pops, I’m still not down with that Indian shizz. Yoga’s just what’s chill right now.
Make Jay Do Yoga- 8hrs, Earns $275, 70xp
Lisa: You look a little…older that I remember.
Jay: Yeah, doing a full course load at Wharton while mopping floors in a bank all night will do that to a kid.
Lisa: Hmmmm…nobody around here ever seems to age.
Comic Book Guy: I credit clean living. And yes, I said that without a trace of self-reflective irony.
Big Jamshed Pt. 3
Jay starts
Jay: Why don’t I find it surprising that all the food is packed with unhealthy preservatives?
Homer: What’s your beef with preserved fake-beef? The scientists at the National Preservatives Council say it’s good for you.
Jay: You should listen to my science Homer. Look at me, I’m in awesome shape! Stop by, and I’ll show you how to make your favorite foods with kale and cauliflower. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll be able to manage a pushup!
Homer: I’ll have you know I’m an expert at the “lowering down” part of pushups.
Make Jay Prepare Food at the Kwik-E-Mart- 2hrs, Earns $110, 27xp
Make Homer Shop of Broceries- 2hrs, Earns $110, 27xp
Big Jamshed Pt. 4
Jay starts
Jay: Come by the Kwik-E-Mart. We have healthy vegetarian culture foods, and our new inclusive signature: the LGBTQIA sandwich!
Smithers: Sounds like my kind of lunch food!
Jay: It’s lentails, goat cheese, bacon, tomato, quinoa, iceberg lettuce and asiago.
Lisa: Wait a minute there! There’s bacon in there! How can you say that’s vegetarian?
Jay: I said vegetarian CULTURE. Pure vegetarinaism is so “the aughts.” WHy would you want to live without bacon?
Wiggum: He’s got you there, Lisa. I eat so much of the stuff that people are always telling me they smell bacon when I’m around.
Make Jay Work a Kwik-E-Mart 1hr Shift- 1hr, Earns $70, 17xp
Make Springfielders Buy Health Food- x6. 3hrs, Earns $135, 35xp freemium and $200, 55xp Premium.
Lisa: I sense a bit of hypocrisy. You’re anti-Kwik-E-Mart, AND you work here?
Jay: It’s all about the Benjies, girl-dude. I need to maintain my lifestyle somehow. And the Kwik-E-Mart isn’t going anywhere. You’d literally need a tank to take this place out!
Wiggum: Cool coincidence! The police department is considering getting a tank right now!
Jay: No, piggy, I don’t mean LITERALLY literally! I want to crush the Kwik-E-Mart from the inside and then set up my own store! A totally millennial, religiously void, and secular store! How I wish for such a place!
Elephant: I can grant that wish for your own store… or for a tank! Whichever method you use, just offer me some donuts!
Big Jamshed Pt. 5
Bart starts
Bart: That’s strange. I’m feeling more aggressive, my voice is getting a little deeper, and… helllllo, Sherri and Terri!
Sherri/Terri: Teehee, hi, Bart!
Miss. Hoover: Another grey hair… my eye wrinkles are expanding… my tramp stamp is fading. WHAT’S GOING ON?
Dr. Nick: HI EVERY OLD BODY!!! What it seems you are experiencing is the natural process of aging!
Miss. Hoover: Aging? But I anti-oxidize and hydrate every day! What caused all of this? Is it something in the food?
Dr. Nick: In all actuallyness, it is something NOT in the food! The preservatives in the terrible food you used to eat kept you preserved! Who’d a thunk it?!
Make Springfielders Buy Unhealthy Food- x6. 3hrs, Earns $135, 35xp Freemium and $200, 55xp Premium.
Bonus if you have Dr. Nick:
Dr. Nick’s Remedies
Dr. Nick starts
Dr. Nick: Have you ever heard that “transfatty foods are bad for you?” To that, I say: “Get real, everybody!” Countries that eat trans fats dominate the world!
Lisa: But correlation doesn’t equal causation.
Dr. Nick: I never said it did. I just said that eating trans fats makes you great!
Make Dr. Nick Run a Seminar- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
Make Springfielders Buy Discount Preserved Food- x6. 4hrs Earns $175, 45xp Freemium and $260, 70xp Premium
And that completes the freemium questline for the Much Apu About Something episode tie-in!
What are your thoughts on the questline? Excited to get a new character? Excited for this week’s episode? Will you be spending donuts on the new premium items? (yes, should I buys are coming and will be up before the weekend…patience 😉 ) Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!