Hey howdy hey friendereenos!
So in the midst of Thanksgiving 2016, it’s pretty obvious that we’re just in the lull period before EA whallops us with the next big event centering around Christmas and the winter holidays and it occurred to me I haven’t done a What a Wookiee Wants (WAWW) in a while. I figured it might be time to posit some of my ideas. Alissa may have also told me a few people actually requested it and gently goaded me into writing something lol. Whatever the reason… here’s WAWW… the Holiday 2016 Edition.
Sorry, I just had to include these hilarious holiday photos. I guess it just shows what I want most is an awesome event that makes tappers happy. If you watched the Addicts Live video, you already know what I want most but to put it down in words… here’s a post illustrating my holiday wish list. What I’d like is some love for the other Holidays. We already got Festivus (a Seinfeld holiday) so why not some love for the other big holiday that comes at the end of the year. It’s time for Hanukkah.
Krusty, Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky, Dolph, Duffman, Kodos (intergalactic Judaism), Old Jewish Man, Artie Ziff, and possibly Kent Brockman are all Jewish. It’s time EA. My inspirations for this all started about a month ago when I was watching “Holidays of Future Passed” (S23:E9) and laughed at the Christmas Ignorers Billboard.
I got to thinking about my wonderful aunt who is one of the Chosen People and how Hanukkah could be done in our games. The first thing that springs to mind is a Chinese food restaurant a la the Holiday openings for “White Christmas Blues” (S25:E8) and “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” (S26:E9).
Rabbi Krustofsky could totally be brought into the game as a ghost since we have Grimesy, Maude Flanders, and Dr. Marvin Monroe in the game already. He’d be easily introduced with Temple Beth Springfield. In “Like Father, Like Clown” (S3:E6), the sign of the Temple even mentions Christmas.
It’s this episode that first let’s us know of the Hasidic District on the Lower East side of Springfield. I’d love to get Yiddle’s joke shop or the chessboard Rabbi Krustofsky is seen next to. It might just be the Simpsons nerd in me but whenever I see Hasidic jews, I think, “Look, It’s ZZ Top.”
The version of Temple Beth Springfield I’d love to see TSTO-ized is the one from “Clown in the Dumps” (S26:E1)… so beautiful.
The synagogue from (spoilers) Rabbi Krustofsky’s funeral is also magnificent. At first I thought it was Beth Springfield but there’s too many differences. In the worship center arena, I’d also settle for Temple Beth Western.
If you haven’t figured out, I would love a place for the Jews of Springfield to assemble to celebrate the Festival of Lights. One last suggestion is the synagogue from Krusty’s old neighborhood. They could even joke about his belated Bar Mitzvah.
And speaking of that neighborhood, while it’s not technically Hanukkah-related, Krusty revisits the stomping frounds of his boyhood in “Today, I am a Clown” (S15:E6). There’s lots of golden ideas to mine here… Circle K Mart, L. L. Beanie (Bargain Basement for Fin Yarmulkes), I Can’t Believe It’s Not Trayfe, Fantastic Schlomo’s (Payos Trims, Two For One!), and the DSL and Brazilian Wax Vendors.
We already got Stars of Fame in the Vegas Event, so why not class up the joint with the Jewish Walk of Fame?
In the vein of all this, I’d also love this building from “I Don’t Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” (S19:E4).
Or how about a different toy store, or Jewish Mr. T, or a Hanukkah-themed Wolverine Krusty?
But of course, there’s other ideas. In one of the first images in the post, we see Dr. Hibbert, Carl, and Lou celebrating Kwanzaa. I’m not completely sure how this could be done respectfully but it could be fun and give the three men skins for the game. I guess what I really want is just some sort of Non-Denominational Holiday Mixer hosted by Krusty.
Basically everyone just getting along in this fractured and divided world. The world could be a whole lot better with a bunch more hugging.
But in the interest of being inclusive in my wishes for the Holiday Event, I have a few other ideas. The first involves EA finally bringing back Santa. They spent the time making a version of him for the game that just appeared and disappeared in 2014. They did this again to us with Lyle Lanley and while I don’t want to use a racist term for giving something and then taking it back, it bummed me out that Santa went back to the North Pole after seeing him in all his vitality.
How about EA makes amends and brings the jolly fat guy back as a playable character? I think it’d be fun for him to run the Santa Academy from the very first Simpsons episode ever. Barney and Kang and more could all get jobs as Santas!
You may not know this about me, but I lived in Japan for six years of my life and when I think of Christmas Eve, I actually think of Kentucky Fried Chicken. It’s super popular there courtesy of an ad campaign done by KFC in 1974 called “Kurisumasu ni wa kentakkii!” Basically Kentucky equals Christmas and KFC is synonymous with Christmas in the country. The show has its own version which could be funny for the holiday event. I’m sure Akira and Kumiko would be happy with this.
I joked on the videocast that it’d also be funny to just do Halloween for Christmas.
Of course, December now means something completely different for a Star Wars fanboy like me. It’s far-fetched but I’d love some Cosmic Wars in the town. They did a whole parody of the Star Wars Christmas Special in “I Won’t Be Home For Christmas” (S26:E17) that you really should watch. I’m not gonna spoil that amazingness. I’ll just cross my fingers for a Gingerbread Death Star in honor of Rogue One. Life Day in TSTO might make this Wookiee squeal in glee.
Star Wars even ties into my dream of Springfield Hanukkah.
Other ideas for the event include snowboarding all over our towns or the ice rink which was behind the Simpson house in “‘Tis the Fifteenth Season” (S15:E7). We could get the billboard for Krusty’s Kristmas Karol or even spruce up the Tire Fire. See? I didn’t forget Christmas completely.
Hopefully we see some Hanukkah and more that shows love for all the Fall Holidays. I fear that if we don’t, I can’t be held responsible for what Krusty might do to all the reindeer.
So there you go. Some of my ideas for the 2016 Holiday Event. What do you think of the ideas. Is it time to get Chewish like Piranhas in the game? I’m sorry, I know that joke is Torah-ble but I just really want to see the Festival of Bites in TSTO. Sound off with your thoughts and any other ideas you might have. The truth is we’re all probably too late and will get what we get but it’s always nice to express our thoughts. Who knows what we might influence in the future. L’Chaim!
TTFN… Wookiee out!