Thank Grog It’s Firday!
I’m writing this early, as today I will actually be on my way to Boise, for Terri’s funeral. Not a great week. I could use some grog.
Compound this with the reality that our “new normal” of lulliness continues, with two very seemingly ambiguous bits of news, that are sure to stoke the “Speculation Train” to the point of flying dangerously down the tracks and around a corner not meant for such speeds.
The first bit came from a Simpson’s writer, the second a notice from E3, which will likely be attended by the same writer. Irony, thy name is Selman.
Let’s get deep into the coal reserves, and stoke the firebox a bit…as that seems the best way to blow off an 8 hour drive across the state, to another state, and a different state of mind altogether.
Let’s start with the recent post on the “Official TSTO Facebook Page.”
The Simpsons: Tapped Out Hey Tappers! One way you can tell Tapped Out is written by actual Simpsons writers is they pay no attention to deadlines. But they’re doing their jobs now, so get ready! Game of Games is coming to the game, as is a Flanders family reunion!
YAY!! New content is coming! Yay again!!
This of course, was proceeded by two miniscule tidbits of info from Simpsons/TSTO writer, Matt Selman (no relation to Matt Groening…different last names).
After the severe, long, horribly tedious lull in game content, following the “Meh” of Marge at Bat, Selman wrote, “It’s not over. I swear!” or something to that effect (the tweet has been deleted from his feed).
And then he twittered the pre-drop of the next update ( he was off by a day, but, that’s cool). Hey #TSTO fans, a new update is dropping 5/14 — Tapped Out is not tapped out! — Matt Selman (@mattselman) May 11, 2019
So…we are led to believe that Matt loves and cares about TSTO and the players. This is evident in that he is the ONLY one of the “team” that has gone public with information about the game and the lulliness issue. Show runner, and ardent tweetster, Al Jean, never twitters a peep about the game. And, Groening, honestly feels like a Luddite when it comes to tech (I watched his powerpoint at the Lincoln reunion). But, at least there was something. Right?
All good!!
But wait. On the 30th – 31st, two more tweets about the upcoming E3 gaming conference.
“New game coming? I hope????” REALLY MATT??? (different Matt…and not a relation to either Groening, or Selman’s…different last name, and likely different mother) Damn. How about more content for the OLD game…that still has millions of players…who still want to know that they are loved after all of these years.
Didn’t we stay steady, and supportive through all of the other “Franchise Failures???”
Bart vs. the Space Mutants – 1991
The Simpsons – 1991
Bart’s House of Weirdness – 1991
Bart Simpson’s Escape from Camp Deadly – 1991
Bart vs. the World – 1991
Bart vs. the Juggernauts – 1992
Bartman Meets Radioactive Man – 1992
Bart’s Nightmare – 1992
Krusty’s Fun House – – 1992
Bart & the Beanstalk – 1994
Virtual Bart- 1994
Itchy & Scratchy in Miniature Golf Madness- 1994
The Itchy & Scratchy Game- 1994
The Simpsons: Cartoon Studio- 1996
Virtual Springfield- 1997
The Simpsons Bowling – 2000
Night of the Living Treehouse of Horror- 2001
The Simpsons Wrestling- 2001
Road Rage – 2001
The Simpsons Skateboarding- 2001
Road Rage – 2003
Hit & Run – 2003
The Simpsons Game – 2007
Minutes to Meltdown – 2007
Itchy and Scratchy Land – 2009
The Simpsons Arcade – 2009
Tapped Out – 2012
And that doesn’t even begin to mention some of the “other franchises” like the Futurama game…which went into hibernation almost faster than players could figure out how to play it.
Tapped Out is the single most successful, longest running game, of every “Simpsons game” created.
So….where is the loyalty to us??? We have been tapping for Seven Years! And all we ask is a bit of new content that isn’t a retread of old content.
But sure. Have your glorious “Celebration” at E3, where you may, or may not announce a “New Simpsons Game!!!”
As I have said many times before, I am not big into speculation. I take things pretty much at face value. And on the face of the information we are given, it is an undeniable fact that compared to a year ago at this time, TSTO 2019 has been about as active as the FitBit on Matt Groening’s wrist. (As a fat guy…I can go after other fat guys…especially those who could be more forthright about the future).
By this time in 2018, we had Nine Updates…including three Major Events (one being the amazing shift of Itchy and Scratchy Land). In 2019? One “Event” and a lot of reruns….retreads…and meh…that set up one “OK…this feels kind of like the old days” update of the Mother’s Day update (delivered almost 3 weeks late).
A new game? If it is even half as successful as the last few that have come out, this may be the last “new game announcement” that these guys get to make.
I love the Simpsons. I love the Simpsons Tapped Out. But is is very clear to me that the love is one-way…un-reciprocated…and starting to feel a bit embarrassing.
Here’s the stone cold, hard truth…
The writers, producers, and creator of the Simpsons all know what’s going on. Some may not care as much as others (it’s pretty much dependent upon paychecks at some point), but they know. They know if there is a future for TSTO. They know if there is going to be a “new game,” and who is producing it. They know if the resources have been drawn off from TSTO to focus on another project. How do I know this? Because the game is called The SIMPSONS Tapped Out. You can’t have the game without their involvement. Period.
That will play out next week, on June 11th.
I trust Selman’s promise that there will be new updates. I don’t trust him to know what they are…or if they are “major events” (not likely) or the same kind of half-assed filler that we have been getting most of the year. The Facebook post really feels more like a “damn…I guess we have to keep this going” more than a “Hey! We’re coming back with a vengeance to make up for all of the lulls this year!”
But, we’ll see. Prove me wrong, EA/Gracie! Prove me wrong!!
I’ll admit that this week is colored with the loss of my dear friend. But, I am also pragmatic enough to be pissed off that we are being played like suckers…with the promise of decent content, from people who clearly don’t have the balls to tell the truth.
Now…let the Speculation Train roll out from the station. Just don’t expect to know its true destination for a while.