Tag Archives: The Simpsons

Rainbows, Brackets, and Whines…OH MY! — Friday Filler

Ah. Thank Grog It’s FIRDAY!

This is one of those weeks when my head is spinning with things that make me go, “ERGH!” and “Whaaaaaa?”and “Really??????”   and “SoooooCoooooool!”  And no. I’m not talking about tweets, or politics, or cable news talking heads….I’m actually talking about THE GAME (and the Bracket Challenge.) Oh…and at the end, I’ll share some good news.

Let’s start with the update(s). I admit, as out-of-context and “space/time breakin'” as the Toaster Update was, I liked it. It was fun…and I got everything I wanted…not, everything available…but everything I wanted. No donuts spent (except on the tree-slide…which is about the loudest water sounding thing in the game..makes me have to pee). I laughed at the “Favio/Sexy-Pirate”…especially when he let his gut hang loose. All in all…Fun Update!

This “mini-update?” Uhm. Not so much. I’m not going to get into it…as I think the concept of Pride Week is important (if not just another way to be divisive in a world that is already so full of marches, you need a scorecard to keep track of the placards, when we should all be celebrating our similarities, rather than our differences).  But, like most “hot topics” taken on by the writers, the dialogue is pretty narrow and stereotypical, even for a cartoon-based mobile game.  And that’s all I’ll say about that…

But…the REAL reason I’m Crankified, is that we now have a couple of MORE characters who barely appeared in the show, in our games…and we DON’T Have Bleeding Gums Murphy yet!!!


Oh. And I’m apparently at the BOTTOM of the “Mod-Heap” in 216th place…in Safi’s Bracket Challenge.  WTH????

I think it’s time for me to use my “bully pulpit” to make the case for “why we need to pick the Jazz Hole” in this challenge. I’ve been a paid PAC writer before…and this time, I think it’s time we hear from the ICCMU, and their desire to be represented!! Rainbows or no rainbows!
Continue reading

Advertisements

RVPD – You Can Make it “Pirate Day” Every Day!

I have to admit that I had completely forgotten that “International Talk Like a Pirate Day” actually started just 45 miles away from me.  Two guys in Albany, Oregon started the annual event, mostly as a lark, until columnist Dave Berry got hold of it, and blew it up, big time in 2002.

It was in his column that the concept of spending an entire day, talking like a pirate, got “sea legs” and really took sail.  The story is actually pretty hilarious…even the “how did you choose the date?” part…that ends up revolving around one of the “founder’s” ex-wives.

You can visit the official site HERE.

Not surprisingly, the British got into it (after all, most of the best Pirates were actually British), but their site(s) — are confusing, and seem to center on a Pirate names “Mad Cap’n Tom” who has none of the gravitas or “real Pirate” vibe that a Blackbeard, or Captain Kidd, or Sir Francis Drake have.  And yes…ironically, Drake was a pirate before he became a “sir” for taking apart the Spanish armada, one ship at a time.

I know a lot about pirates. I was obsessed with pirates when I was young, (before I decided I would rather be a World War One fighter ace).  But, when the National Talk Like a Pirate Day first surfaced, my love of Pirate lingo returned quickly.

But…I have to admit, my first attempts were not well received…and almost got me fired.

Continue reading

TTT Event – Pirate Era Calendar

Well…I am hoping that all of you “got it all” during the Egyptian Era portion of our little Time Travel Toaster Update.  I took my own advice, and bought the TreeHouse Slide…which seemed to help propel me to an early finish, without buying any of the other Premium Items.

I am hoping the same is true with the Pirate update, as I really do love things that float…and nothing floats my boat like a Pirate Ship! (the sexy pirate not so much… but fair is fair…right?)

This last segment is a tad shorter (thanks for listening EA) but kind of overlaps with the 4th of July…so here’s hoping EA didn’t forget the 4th!

The Calendar looks do-able. Batten the hatches…hoist the jib…and set sail for TREASURE! (or at least an animatronic facsimile thereof~).
Continue reading

Let There Be LIGHT(s)!!!!

Wow. OK…so this has been the kind of week that makes one want to down a bottle of Dramamine in one sitting.  Politics on both sides of the “big pond” continue to make the ground shake with change and speculation.

But, even more important than who leaked to whom, and who will take charge of what, is WHY CAN’T I GET EVERYTHING I WANT!!!!!!

EA has really pulled the window to a narrow split for many of us who were unable to log on every 4 hours for weeks. Turns out that sometimes life gets in the way…and when I made the calendar, I thought, “this look EAsy!”  But…of course…they changed things in the middle of the update, because it seemed too easy for some. Bastids!

Now…I will likely be forced to make the decision whether I want to drop donuts on “Moe’s Cave” and caveman character (Another Moe???)…or if I am just going to go with my gut, and realize that creating a huge Cave/Springfield, which will be followed by an Egyptian Springfield makes no sense.  I WANT the pirate stuff. I’ve always wanted to be a pirate in my heart of hearts.  But, we’ll have to see how difficult they make it to get it all.

I also admit that “getting it all” makes me feel a bit greedy…when so many have so little (like the players who missed 2-3 years of free stuff!).  And when I take a look at what’s REALLY IMPORTANT…
Continue reading

Why I DIDN’T Buy the Curvaceous Cave and Cave Girl Booberella

Let’s start with the fact that I realize that the content of this post may offend some of you.  Some of you are hardcore supporters of EA and everything they do. Some of you are hardcore KEM miners who can/will buy anything, just because you can.  And some of you are women, who hate seeing men objectify certain parts of the female anatomy.

Thinking about it…this post might offend ALL of the above-mentioned categories of players.  But, hear me out. I think I have some of the most valid reasons ever for passing on a Premium Buy, that most people (knowing my sadly “dirty old man” aversion to cartoon women in this game) may be shocked (or not, after I explain it) to read here.  I’m not proud of it…but it is…as they say…what it is!

Here are the THREE primary reasons I didn’t buy this combo…
Continue reading

Prehistoric Era Calendar…Get Yer Caveman On!


I have to admit, that when I saw the details of this update, I wanted to quote my great grandfather to the 2,000th power, ThunderThighs Miller, with a single word…”Ugh!”

Of course, in his day, “Ugh” meant everything from, “Nice dress, it makes your hips look perfect for child bearing” to, “Hey! You Overcooked the Mammoth Again!!”

But, in this case…It was just the feeling of a whole-lotta-tappin’ going on, for some mildly odd prizes.  I DO like the archaeology twist.  But, just like archaeology, you have to be patient (not my strong suit).

In any case…the Prehistoric Prizes are all attainable, with some solid 4-hour planning (how did prehistoric man count hours?).  Let’s take a look…
Continue reading

Friday Filler – The Challenges of Real Life Time Travel


For almost as long as man has been able to tell time (when Grog Smith, mentioned to Ugha Jones that he noticed the sun went down every night), mankind has been fascinated with the concept of time travel.  And even the most erudite theoretic physicists in history have a hard time convincing one another that time may or may not be malleable, allowing us to move to and fro through event horizons of time/space.

Of course, popular culture has all but shredded any real commonsense thought about the possibilities of traveling to or from a single point in time…making us all believe that time is simply a linear string, with knots representing every second, minute, hour, day, and year of existences, that can be used as a road marker, or untied to alter the course of the rest of the string.

But, that is silly…no matter what Dr. Brown and Marty would have you believe.

And while the most brilliant minds in the world are all at CERN, breaking all of the standard rules of physics by shooting protons beyond the speed of light (which in itself destroys the traditional laws of physics), it is widely becoming an accepted theory that there is very clear evidence that much of what we see, touch and feel, is rooted in a dimension that is OUTSIDE this space/time…Time, and any clear definition of it, is more a perception than a reality.

As I have written about for years (as our old friends at TSTOFriends can attest), to me it isn’t really so much the measurement of time, but the value of how you spend that time.  And let’s be brutally honest…there are few activities in this world that can suck up more time, or squander more of that magic “Life Currency” than tapping. It’s been so long ago that I grabbed that phrase, I can’t remember the source. But, I suspect it came during the first Sci-Fi update a LONG time ago.  But, “Life Currency” is such an accurate description of the real value of time, that I purloined (a polite term for stole) it…and have used it since.

However, what if we COULD go back and forth in time?  What if we could “get back that wasted hour or two or five,” if we had the ability to do so?  And, if we became greedy with our time travel, what major life-changing events would we choose to alter to change the outcome of our existence today?  WOULD YOU DO IT???
Continue reading

Secret Agent Simpsons- FINAL ACT CALENDAR (Finally)


I know, I know…I’m supposed to be a “Kinder, Gentler, Less-Cranky-OldGuy.”  But, HOLYFREAKINSHIRT these events are loooooooooong… tooooooooo looooooooong!

See what I did there?  I just held down the “O” key and let the computer do the work of filling up space. Kind of like the EA programmers did for this last Act…which literally had almost the same prizes…falling on the same days…with minor alterations.  Talk about EALPish behavior!

But…if I am really honest, I have to give a salute (and not the one-finger kind) to the programmer/animator who is making all of these “Spy-worthy” decorations.  I think the characters are kinda, “meh”…but the buildings and decorations simply crack me up. I actually Laugh Out Loud at some of them. They are clever, well designed, and because they are clustered in my “Homage to Langley” section of my Springfield…I can tap a bunch of them and watch them all go nuts. It is hilarious.

So….yes….this last act is even EAsier (sorry…now that someone complained, I’m gonna do it forever), and everyone should get everything by simply logging in 3-4 times a day.

Here are the Calendars…
Continue reading

The First COG Addicts Post Ever…Whoddathunkit?

So…out of the blue yesterday, Alissa texts me with a “Look what I found…check your email.” These can either be fun and great news, or can be horrible “dear God…don’t look!” kinds of things. She was vague…saying it had something to do with my past. Again…at this age, that can be good (Wow! I found an old royalty check you didn’t know you had coming!), or (WOW! I can’t believe there is a picture of you doing THIS online!!!!).

As it turns out, it was neither. It was actually a copy of the first article I ever wrote for Addicts. As in…WAY before the “unpleasantness” (also known as Whacking Day), and way, way, way before the Monorail every showed up in our towns.

It was a hoot, and reminded me just how ridiculously simple this “Silly ‘Lil Game”(not copyrighted by Bunny) used to be…and that there were STILL people who whined about the downtime in the game.
Continue reading

Femme Fatale…Just Another Female Designed to Make Me Feel Bad


I want to start this revealing little commentary with a few facts.  I offer these not as a way of excusing my behavior, but perhaps helping to explain it in some small way that may not invoke your empathy, but at least a nod of understanding, as in “Oh…now that makes sense. He’s nuts…but at least I get it now.”

  1.  I have five daughters and a wife (plus three sisters and a mom, two sisters-in-law, and three nieces) who are all very strong willed, successful, women deserving of praise.
  2. After my Dad’s passing in 2012, I am the lone male in a world dominated by said women.
  3. I was/am the lone receiver of Testosterone from my Dad, and perhaps got a “double shot” that makes me a “highly sexed man” (as my wife likes to say with a wink) but also, as a father to five daughters (penance for being highly sexed?) realizes that being “too macho” will likely make relationships with said family females miserable, if not impossible.
  4. I don’t have a large group of male friends with whom I regularly gather to do manly things (watch sports, smoke cigars, talk about female body parts in a loud, irreverent way) for the same reasons stated above. I go on a couple of golf weekends with “the boys” each year, but mostly spend it being offended by the idiot behavior of my friends (all of whom I don’t let within miles of my wife or daughters).
  5. Having 5 daughters…with an age range of 41-26, makes it almost impossible to look at ANY woman lustfully, under the age of 48 (because a 15-year gap is just creepy…and waaaaaaaay to close to the age of my oldest daughter).

So…taking that into consideration…you might see why I have been reduced to lusting after cartoon characters in TSTO.  I’m not proud of it. But, hey…a “highly sexed man” has to have an outlet somewhere…right? (and please…refrain from any “tapping” innuendo jokes).
Continue reading