Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
IMPORTANT NOTE: Act 2 is slated to start TOMORROW, June 19th (which also happens to be my birthday…that’s for the extra work EA 😉 ). Act 1 isn’t going anywhere, so if you didn’t finish it you’ll still have time to. Look for Act 2 to start around 11am ET. (1500 UTC)
You’ll need CBG and the Evergreen Terrors (x4) free for the first round of tasks (and those earning event currency). Also, 1 new premium character combo will be released. 150 donuts for the combo.
Now on with the full dialogue for Act 1…
The Mysterious Gamer
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Milhouse: Man, summer is like, in my top-five seasons. No school, spending all day indoors at the arcade watching you play Touch of Death…The only thing more fun would be if you ever let me play. But hey, we Van Houtens know our place.
Bart: Milhouse, I’m on a once-in-a-lifetime run here, and I can’t afford a single mistake. So zip it!
Milhouse: Got it. Consider my lip zipped. Won’t be hearing from me anymore! No sir, not a peep. Because I’ve never seen you so in the zone before. You’re gonna beat your high score!
Bart: C’mon…c’mon… YES! A personal best. Now, to just add my initials to the leaderboard, so thousands of years from now, people will still marvel at my achievement. Wait a second, what’s this? There’s a new name on the leaderboard…
Milhouse: “TGM”? Who is “TGM”? Look! Escape from Grandma’s House also has “TGM” on the leaderboard!
Martin: It’s on Larry the Looter, too!
Bart: This “TGM” is still among us, I can feel it in my joystick blisters… Spread out, men!
Make the Kids Search for the Mysterious Gamer– x3. 60s, Bart, Milhouse and Martin
Martin: *pointing* Who…is that?
Milhouse: Wow, look at his fingers! I’ve never seen someone with such pristine hand-eye coordination. He must file his nails. And his eyelids!
Bart: Ah c’mon, he’s not THAT good.
Martin: He set a new high score!
Milhouse: *running over* Hey, Mister. What’s your name?
The Game Master: You may call me…The Game Master. *THUNDERCLAP*
Martin: The Game Master… “TGM”…like the prophecy of the leaderboards foretold!
Milhouse: Pretty lame handle. I would’ve gone with “The Gaminator”. Or maybe “The Extermigamer”.
The Game Master: Silence! As The Game Master, it falls on me to blow your minds by informing you that this world we live in is nothing but a mere…SIMULATION! *ANOTHER THUNDERCLAP*
Bart: Well, duh.
Dubstepping Up Your Game Pt. 1
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The Game Master: I don’t believe you heard me correctly. I said this world you know is nothing but a mere… SIMULATION! *ONE LAST THUNDERCLAP*
Bart: Yeah we heard you. But we already know that we live in a simulation.
The Game Master: You…you do?
Milhouse: I literally saw a building fall from the sky the other day and land neatly on the ground, undamaged.
Martin: My house used to be on a different street!
The Game Master: Well, okay. But did you know that I have become the ADMIN of the simulation? That’s right, I can remove any person, building, or random silly prop from your world with the stroke of a key. Behold!
Make the Kids Gasp- 30m. Can send Bart, Milhouse and Martin
Collect Arcade Tokens- x175.
CBG: Has anyone in here seen my picture of Rainier Wolfcastle signed by Captain Lance Murdock? It seems to have disappeared! You may consider it a mere silly prop, but I loved it as much as any parent ever loved their child.
The Game Master: The vanishing of your collectible was but a small showcase of my powers. Every time I earn a new high score on a leaderboard, I gain more admin privileges, and the chance to delete more and more. Soon, this simulated world will cease to exist!
Martin: Wait, so you work at EA?
Dubstepping Up Your Game Pt. 2
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CBG: This is a travesty! We can’t allow The Game Master – if that is even his real name, which I highly doubt – to do this!
Milhouse: I know, he could delete any one of us!
CBG: I meant what he did to my autographed picture!
Milhouse: The Sky Finger we all worship has worked hard to get their Springfield just right. We can’t let anybody screw it up!
Bart: The Game Master said that he gains more access to the simulation with each video game high score he sets. So…of course! That’s what we have to do!
Martin: Bludgeon him to death, take his stuff, and eat his eyeballs so he wanders the afterlife blind?
Bart: No, but points for freaking me out. We have to defeat his high scores to take back his admin access. And in order to do that, we need the best gamers Springfield has to offer. Milhouse, call Sophie and Nelson. THE EVERGREEN TERRORS are coming out of retirement!
Make Milhouse Round Up the Evergreen Terrors- 4hrs
Collect Arcade Tokens- x125
Sophie: So some guy shows up and tells you all that he’s gained admin access to the simulation we live in, and that he’s going to start deleting the whole town… And you just believe him?
Milhouse: He was very convincing. You should’ve seen how shadowy his face was inside that hood.
Sophie: But why is he doing this? There must be a reason.
CBG: Allow me to explain in D&D terms. You see, The Game Master is chaotic evil. He needs not any reason for his evilness. He merely exists for it, like the humble Beholder.
Bart: What the hell are you trying to say?
CBG: That I accept your offer – or lack thereof – to become the new coach of The Evergreen Terrors! First, we’re going to need to work on your reflexes. *gets out tennis ball shooter* Heads up!
Milhouse: *gets pelted by a tennis ball* Ow!
Nelson: Haw-Haw! *gets pelted by a tennis ball*
Dubstepping Up Your Game Pt. 3
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Milhouse: Guys, look! I found one of The Game Master’s high scores! It’s in this dancing game, PaDubba the Dubsteppa.
CBG: Excellent. Then we just need to have the best dubstepper in our group beat that high score.
Milhouse: I’m not allowed to listen to dubstep. My mom says it makes me too chill.
Bart: I’m too cool to be seen dancing in public…
Nelson: And if I ever saw myself dancing I’d have to beat myself up.
CBG: Ugh. Worst. Kids. Ever. Sophie, what about you?
Sophie: Um…
Make Sophie Show Off Her Dubstepping Skills- 30m
Make CBG Be Amazed at Sophie’s Dubstepping Skills- 30m
Collect Arcade Tokens- x125.
Bart: Whoa, Sophie where did you learn to dance like that?
Milhouse: I’ve never seen someone step dubs with such mad skill!
Sophie: Fine, I admit it. I’m a closet dubstepper. Just tease me now. Get it out of your systems.
Bart: I would, but I don’t know enough about dubstep to even make fun of it.
CBG: It is decided! Sophie will represent The Evergreen Terrors in their attempt to take down The Game Master’s PaDubba the Dubsteppa high score.
Bart: Maybe a clever barb involving Skrillex? Is he still a thing?
Dubstepping Up Your Game Pt. 4
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Sophie: *dubstepping her heart out* I’m…almost…there… Out…of…energy…
Milhouse: We’re losing her!
Martin: But she’s almost to the high score!
Make Comic Book Guy Funnel an Energy Drink Into Sophie’s Mouth- 1hr
Make Sophie Pull Out Some Clutch Dubstepping- 2hrs
Make the Evergreen Terrors Cheer On Sophie’s Dubstepping- x3. 2hrs
Collect Arcade Tokens- x125.
Dubstepping Up Your Game Pt. 5
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Bart: Sophie, you’re at the top of the leaderboard! We…we won!
Milhouse: *gasp* She did it!
SophieKrustofski : Ow! My ankle!
Martin: Can I help? I could be your knight in terrycloth armor.
Sophie: I think I just sprained it…
CBG: No time to rest. We have to find the next game!
Sophie: Can I at least wrap my ankle?
CBG: Wrap it when you’re dead! Moving on!
Make the Evergreen Terrors Search for the Next High Score- x4. Bart, Milhouse, Martin, and Nelson. 4hrs
Make Sophie Wrap Her Ankle- 1hr.
Collect Arcade Tokens- x125.
The Game Master: You beat my PaDubba high score? I destroyed my quads getting to the top of that leaderboard! No matter, though. It’s just one of many.
Milhouse: And we’re gonna beat them all!
The Game Master: Nonsense! I am The Game Master! And nothing will stand in the way of my quest to–
Strawberry: Babe, how much longer do I have to wait in the car? You said you were gonna take me to Pasta la Vista for our anniversary.
And this concludes the Act 1 Game of Games Sequel Dialogue!
Thoughts? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!