Right then, you’ve got your Rundown and Turbo Tappin’ up so lets take a look at the premium offering for this act …
Paula and Paula’s House
As ever this isn’t exactly a Should I Buy, more like it’s a look at what you get if you decide to spend those Donuts so you can make your own minds up.
Here’s what’s in this post:
• Basic info
• Questline with Dialog
• Permanent tasks
Lets get started then, shall we . . .
Basic info:
Cost: 150 Donuts
● Paula (Character)
• Premium: Yes
• Voiced: No
• Questline: Yes
• Animated Job(s): Yes, 4 and 8 hour jobs
Note: Earns event currency for Acts 2 to 4
Bundled with:
● Paula’s House (Building)
• Built: 6 seconds
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 175 $$s and 18 XP every 6 hours
• Job(s): Yes – Paula, Marge
Marge has a 12 hour job, Visit Paula At Home
Questline with Dialog:
Wood Powered, part 1:
Paula: Patty! Selma! How have you been?
Patty: Paula! What a surprise. So good to see you again! We’re fine, thanks.
Selma: Still working our dead-end jobs at the DMV. Pretending to be busy.
Patty: Infuriating people waiting in line…
Selma: Life’s going great! So how’s the wood chopp’n competition circuit been treating you?
Paula: Won a few, lost a few.
Patty: Hey, have they ever figured out how much wood would a woodchuck chuck? *laughs*
Selma: *laughs*
Paula: Funny. I’m often asked that. But right now I’d like to know why the woodchuck chucks.
Selma: Feeling burned out?
Paula: Yeah, I came to Springfield for a break. Wanted to visit your sister, Marge. She still with what’s his name? Homer?
Selma: Marge says she can’t leave him out of love.
Patty: We all know it’s the gravitational pull.
Patty: *laughs*
• Make Patty Tell Embarassing Stories About Homer – 4 hours
• Make Selma Point Out More of Homer’s Flaws – 4 hours
• Make Paula Be Mildly Uncomfortable About All This – 4 hours
Marge: Patty! Selma! What brings you two here?
Patty: A friend wanted to come say hi now that she’s in the area… Ta-da!
Paula: Hi, Marge!
Marge: Oh Paula! How have you been?
Paula: Okay. How’s your swing been lately?
Marge: Oh I don’t get any more timber time. The only chopping I do around here is celery for soup stocks.
Paula: I get it. Me, I’m taking a break from competitions. My wife insisted I relax a bit. She found me sleepwalking trying to chop down our Christmas tree.
Marge: Sleeplogging is a real issue in the chopping community. I’m organizing a march to raise money for a cure.
Paula: Be sure you also raise awareness.
Marge: Oh yes! That too!
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP
Wood Powered, part 2:
Paula: Well, my axe head flew off and knocked out one of my opponents. I wasn’t going to give up, so I just picked up that axe head and started swinging it.
Marge: Wow!
Paula: I lost, but it was satisfying trying to punch a log in half.
Marge: Ahh, makes me want to get back in there…attacking trees.
Paula: Yeah, well, I can’t stay any longer. My flight back to Portland leaves early tomorrow morning, and I hate airplanes.
Paula: Other people get to work on their computers. Why can’t I bring a log to chop in my seat? Can’t even whittle!
Marge: Well, it was lovely to see you.
Paula: Hey, you mind if I reach out to you one of these days for some tandem sawing over video?
Marge: I’d love to!
Homer: Woo hoo!
Marge: Homer? What happened?
Homer: Big ice storm is coming! Everything’s shutting down tonight, even the power plant!
Marge: That’s not good.
Homer: Marge, any day I’m not overseeing the safety of that plant is a good day for everyone.
• Make Paula Pull Up Airline Schedules on Her Phone – 4 hours
Paula: Dang! This ice storm has cancelled all the flights for tomorrow. It’ll be early next week before anything’s flying out of Springfield Airport in the right direction.
Marge: Maybe you could take a flight in the opposite direction around the world.
Homer: Oh, Marge, you round-earther!
Marge: *annoyed grumble*
Marge: Paula, you’re welcome to stay here until things clear up.
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP
Wood Powered, part 3:
Paula: Yes, babe, I’ll let you know as soon as I get a confirmed flight. Love you, too. Bye.
Marge: Still no flights?
Paula: Yup. Springfield Airport is under a foot of snow and its snowplow is under fifty.
Marge: That’s too bad.
Paula: Yeah, and I’d planned to start working out again next week. I suppose I’ll have to start training here. You mind loaning me your axe?
Marge: Be my guest. I just re-handled it and the blade is sharp enough to cut through a three foot stack of Playdudes in one swing!
Marge: Don’t ask me how I know that.
• Make Paula Lumber-Jog – 4 hours
Kent Brockman: …with temperatures reaching well below zero, health officials urge everyone to remain inside.
Kent Brockman: Joining us now, outside, is Stephanie! On location from the Isotopes Football Stadium, for an update on sports.
Stephanie Brockman: Kent, I’m standing on what should be a field covered in injured men. Instead, it is covered in ice.
Stephanie Brockman: In fact, with everyone staying warm inside, the only news is that my legs have become two solid pillars of frozen meat.
Kent Brockman: Yet another illustration for our listeners of the importance of avoiding all outside activities. To coin a phrase, it seems that all sports are frozen for the time being.
Stephanie Brockman: Yes, Kent. There’s nothing happening here. There’s no one out here. Just me with my microphone frozen to my hand.
Kent Brockman: Err…wait, Stephanie. Who’s that behind you?
Stephanie Brockman: If I can snap this ice encasing my neck to see… Yes, it appears to be a woman jogging on the ice with an axe! Give me five minutes, Kent.
Kent Brockman: Sure, it’s not like we’re live or anything.
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP
Wood Powered, part 4:
Stephanie Brockman: Springfield, allow me to introduce Paula, a professional lumberjack!
Paula: I’m sorry, it’s lumberjill.
Stephanie Brockman: Excuse me?
Paula: It’s lumberjill. Not lumberjack. I’m a woman.
Stephanie Brockman: Ah, I see you’re as good at splitting hairs as you are at splitting logs!
Paula: …
Stephanie Brockman: So, Paula, what brings you outside on a frigid day like this?
Paula: Practice. I’m gearing up for competition. Problem is, it’s so cold the trees tend to shatter when I take a whack at them.
Stephanie Brockman: Fascinating. Do you mind giving our warm-at-home viewers a little taste of your skills?
Paula: Hell, I’ll give them a whole belly full. Stand back, buttercup.
• Make Paula Practice Splitting Logs – 4 hours
• Make Stephanie Brockman Watch Too Attentively – 4 hours
Stephanie Brockman: Fascinating! Did you see that, Kent?
Kent Brockman: Enthralling! Portland Woman Splits Wood. I smell a Pulitzer Prize.
Stephanie Brockman: Okay, well here’s a news flash, Kent. The weather report calls for increasing coldness in shoulders towards certain husbands.
Kent Brockman: That’s…a very specific weather report.
Kent Brockman: Well, there you have it! Channel Five’s very own Stephanie Brockman reporting from the field. Thanks Stephanie!
Paula: Err…can I…go now?
Stephanie Brockman: After you break the ice locking me in place here.
Reward: 200 $$s, 20 XP
Permanent tasks:
• Task: Apply Handle Oil To Axes
• Time: 1 Hour
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 105 $$s, 23 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Paula’s House
• Task: Lumber Jog
• Time: 4 Hours
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 260 $$s, 70 XP
• Animated: Yes
• Location: Outside – visual
• Task: Practice Splitting Logs No Log
• Time: 8 Hours
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 420 $$s, 105 XP
• Animated: Yes
• Location: Outside – visual
• Task: Unwind At a Bar
• Time: 12 Hours
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 600 $$s, 150 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Moes Tavern, Moes Express, O’Flanagans Pub, The Gridiron, Barra, Beer N Brawl, Lotto N Liquor, The Boiled Potato, CBGB, Darby O’Guzzlins, Brown House
• Task: Relax With Foster Dogs
• Time: 24 Hours
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 1000 $$s, 225 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Paula’s House
There you have it, over to you. Is this a must-buy, a maybe or a hard-pass?
Your opinions might help any Addict who’s not made up their minds yet so please share your thoughts in the comments.
Back tomorrow with a look at the first four prizes.
