If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for this act …
PS – a reminder that Act 3 starts on Sunday
In this post it’s just the Act 2 Prize Track –
• Sparse Comforts parts 1 to 5
Sparse Comforts, part 1:
● Chopping Log Bundle (2x Log Pile Decoration and 1x Chopping Log Decoration)
Homer: All right! Time to explore our vacation home! *opens door*
Lisa: It is possible to have instant cabin fever?
Marge: Looks like a moose and a racoon have been living together here.
Homer: Ooh. Sexy, eh Marge?
Marge: How is that sexy?! Honestly, sometimes I don’t know you.
Bart: Look at all these animal skulls! And hey, a dead possum’s leaking fluids all over the floor. Wow, look at him go!
Lisa: Bart, don’t touch it! It could be diseased!
Bart: Stop enticing me.
Homer: Look what I found. A pair of rackets.
Marge: Homer, those are snowshoes.
Homer: Oh thank God! So I don’t have to play tennis.
Homer: I’ll just strap these on and go for a little stroll. *straps snowshoes to his feet* Adieu, Christmas crew!
Lisa: And that’s the closest I’m going to get to France this year.
• Collect Lumber – x 115 
• Make Homer Go for a Snowshoe Walk – 4 hours
• Make Marge Look Around the Cabin – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Try Not to Have a Nervous Breakdown – 4 hours
• Make Bart Assemble a Pile of Animal Skulls – 4 hours
Bart: I hope he’s coming back.
Marge: He’d better. It’ll be harder to kill him if he doesn’t.
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP
Sparse Comforts, part 2:
● Kevin’s Kindling (Building)
Marge: Well, it looks like your father’s little walk is going to take some time, so we might as well start trying to make the most of this.
Lisa: How do you make the most of nothing?
Bart: Yeah, Mom. I’ve hidden the animal skulls every place they will scare you guys. Let’s get the hell out of this log pile.
Maggie: *suck suck*
Marge: That’s enough! I will not have this family ruin our family vacation!
Bart: It ruins itself! Look at this place! We’ve got zero internet reception and I was just about to capture the Golden Dingaroo in Peekimon Get!
Marge: *annoyed grumble*
Marge: Okay! Yes. You’re right. This isn’t ideal, and I really wish your father had discussed it with me before we got out here, but I think we should try to make the most out of this.
Bartand Lisa: What?
Maggie: *spits out pacifier* …?!
• Collect Lumber – x 150
• Make Marge Look Through the House for Supplies – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Actually Have a Nervous Breakdown – 4 hours
• Make Maggie Try to Comfort Her Sister – 4 hours
• Make Bart Finally Get Annoyed by All This – 4 hours
Marge: Come on. This could be fun!
Lisa: Fun? You’re worried about fun? What about survival? There’s no food. We could end up like the Donner party!
Bart: Lis, maybe you don’t know this because you’re never invited, but parties are fun.
Lisa: It wasn’t that kind of party. The Donners were pioneers in 1846 who got snowbound in the mountains and turned to cannibalism.
Bart: Now I really hope Homer comes back. With that lard ass around we’ll have enough for dinner and leftovers.
Lisa: But what about me? I don’t eat meat!
Marge: Enough! No one’s eating their father!
Lisa: *hyperventilating*
Marge: Oh, sweetie, don’t worry. I’m here and we’ll get through this together.
Marge: I found an axe and I’ll chop wood for heat…if there’s a flannel shirt around here. I have to dress appropriately.
Bart: Found one!
Marge: Thanks Bart! See? We can make this a fun little survival adventure! We haven’t had a vacation like that since I don’t know when.
Lisa: Detroit. Remember Detroit?
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP
Sparse Comforts, part 3:
● Snow Place Mystery Box Token
Lisa: Mom?
Lumberjill Marge: Yes, dear?
Lisa: I’m going to look for berries.
Lumberjill Marge: Oh good! And take Maggie with you. I don’t think it’s healthy for a baby to watch her mother attack innocent trees with an axe.
Lisa: Come on, Maggie, let’s go forage. Who doesn’t want to starve? You don’t want to starve!
Maggie: *happy clapping*
Lisa: Let’s see. I’m pretty sure I saw some blackberry bushes as we were driving in. Do you like blackberries, Maggie?
Maggie: *suck suck*
• Collect Lumber – x 115
• Make Lisa Investigate the Path – 4 hours
• Make Maggie Follow Along Dutifully – 4 hours
Lisa: Wait, this leads out to a road!
Maggie: *suck suck*
Lisa: What is it, Maggie? A store? “The Voracious Vegan”?
Lisa: Wow. There’s a progressive vegetarian grocery walking distance from our cabin in the middle of nowhere? This makes Apu’s convenience store seem totally inconvenient.
Apu: I sense somewhere someone has besmirched my store and its offerings.
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP
Sparse Comforts, part 4:
● Springfield Forest Sign (Decoration)
Bart: Okay, I dragged the possum carcass out of here and tossed out the animal crap. Is this vacation over?
Lumberjill Marge: No, Bart. But I’m glad you’re taking this so well.
Bart: Well, it turns out, without an internet connection, I’m finally finding real peace. I’m seeing the richness of life and the fullness of my personhood.
Lumberjill Marge: That’s nice.
Lumberjill Marge: Oh! There’s something else you can do!
Bart: Whatever nourishes this sense of peace and oneness. Work is my meditation.
Lumberjill Marge: Can it, Bart. No one likes a spiritual show off. I could be enlightened too if I wanted.
Lumberjill Marge: When we were driving in I noticed an old building at the edge of the property. Go check it out.
Bart: Wait…so you’re asking me to go break into a random building?
Lumberjill Marge: We both know that you’re going to do it anyways. Might as well ask you to so that I at least know where you are.
Bart: Okay, I will have a look with eyes of respect and a heart of purity.
Lumberjill Marge: You’re about to get the spank of ass. Now go!
• Collect Lumber – x 115
• Make Bart Investigate the Building – 4 hours
Bart: Whoa! An abandoned fire station? Neat! I wonder if they’ve got axes or anything in there!
Bart: Hmm. Looks pretty cleaned out, but…a computer?
Bart: Hey, it works! This place has power! And a satellite internet uplink?
Bart: Only 10Mbps? This sucks. Life sucks.
Bart: No! I can survive on slow speed. There’s a reason they call it “roughing it”.
Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP
Sparse Comforts, part 5:
● Lumberjill Marge (Outfit for Marge)
Homer: I’m back! Where is everyone?
Lumberjill Marge: Homer, you’ve been gone for hours. What were you doing out there?
Homer: I was getting an accurate measurement of the property lines!
Lumberjill Marge: That doesn’t sound like something you’d do. What’s your angle, Homer?
Homer: Marge, with those measurements, we can…I mean, you can calculate the acreage of this land, so we can put up this FOR SALE sign!
Homer: *holds up sign* See? I made it myself from an old wooden stump. The post is a frozen snake!
Lumberjill Marge: How did you paint the letters?
Homer: With blood.
Lumberjill Marge: Whose blood?
Homer: Um…some guy’s. I gotta lie down.
Lumberjill Marge: Hang on. So you drove us out here. No heat. No electricity. No food…
Homer: Now listen, Marge…
Lumberjill Marge: No, you listen to me!
Homer: Oh I’m listening. Especially with that axe in your hand.
Lumberjill Marge: This so-called vacation was just so you could measure the property so you can sell it when your father dies? Homer, you ruined our children’s entire vacation!
Lisa: Mom! We found a grocery store nearby! Also, it’s a co-op!
Bart: Mom! That building has internet and a fireman’s pole and internet! Also, internet!
Homer: See, Marge? It’s not all bad!
• Collect Lumber – x 185
• Make Marge Attempt to Stay Calm – 4 hours
• Make Homer Miss Every Warning Sign – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Nervously Back Away – 4 hours
• Make Bart Wish He Had Popcorn – 4 hours
Homer: …err…are you okay, Marge?
Lumberjill Marge: *deep breath, slow exhale*
Lisa: Really, Mom, we’re all set. We can still have a great vacation here!
Bart: Yeah, for once Dad managed to do something right.
Homer: Woo hoo!
Bart: By accident! Let me finish.
Homer: Woo.
Lumberjill Marge: So…you kids really are happy here?
Bart And Lisa: Yes!
Lumberjill Marge: I guess this turned into a real Christmas miracle. Oh, Homie, I could kiss you!
Homer: Set down the axe first.
Reward: 200 $$s, 20 XP
That wraps up Act 2, back on Sunday with the Act 3 Rundown.
Happy Festivus everyone! Hopefully all have told their loved ones all the ways they have disappointed them this year…as well as aired all their grievances. Don’t forget Festivus doesn’t end until the host with the metal pole is pinned. I too find tinsel distracting.