Right then, we’ve covered the other prizes so lets take a look at the prize character for this act …
Retirement Castle Orderly
Here’s what’s in this post:
• Basic info
– What you get
– How you get it
• Questline with Dialog
• Permanent tasks
Lets get started then, shall we . . .
Basic info, Prize 5:
What you get:
● Retirement Castle Orderly (Character)
• Premium: No
• Voiced: No
• Questline: Yes
• Animated Job(s): Yes, 4 and 24 hour jobs
How you get it: Coming Home for Christmas part 2
• Collect Toxic Samples – x 150 
• Make Lisa Figure It All Out – 4 hours
• Make Homer Wait for an Explanation – 4 hours
Questline with Dialog:
Order in the Castle part 1:
Retirement Castle Orderly: All right, Mr. Moleman. Keep your arms straight for now, and we’ll have you out of that hole as soon as we can.
Hans Moleman: *head in ground* Oh please hurry! I’m missing my soaps.
Retirement Castle Orderly: …Okay, here we go! One. Two. And pull! *pop*
Hans Moleman: Hurray, I’m free! Tell everyone I’m okay.
Retirement Castle Orderly: No one asked.
Hans Moleman: I was stuck in the ground for three days and no one cared?
Retirement Castle Orderly: Your roommate moved your junk out.
• Make Retirement Castle Check Moleman for Injuries – 4 hours
• Make Moleman Sigh Dejectedly – 4 hours
Retirement Castle Orderly: You know, just because we call you Moleman and you look like a mole doesn’t mean you have to burrow.
Hans Moleman: I can’t resist it. When I was young I was bitten by a radioactive mole.
Retirement Castle Orderly: Please promise me this won’t happen again.
Hans Moleman: I can’t promise that. That’s just setting myself up for failure.
Retirement Castle Orderly: I’m sure you can resist…
Hans Moleman: *head in ground again* Help! Help! I couldn’t resist!
Retirement Castle Orderly: …
Retirement Castle Orderly: Here we go again! One. Two…
Order in the Castle part 2:
Grampa: Hey, waiter! Where’s the TV remote?
Retirement Castle Orderly: We took away the remote to prevent any more political fights.
Grampa: Oh, so I can’t watch my favorite news channel because some namby-pamby cry-baby liberals is afraid of the truth?
Retirement Castle Orderly: Yes. That’s the reason.
Grampa: Fine, then bring me a menu. I’m famished.
Retirement Castle Orderly: Mr. Simpson, I’m not a waiter. I am an orderly at the retirement home. Remember? My name’s Clark.
Grampa: Mark? Why, you still owe me twelve dollars, and don’t think that dying in the trenches will get you out of it again!
Retirement Castle Orderly: Mr. Simpson, calm down.
Grampa: No, you calm down! We got a sniper in the bell tower and I can’t find the grenade that goes with this pin I just pulled!
Retirement Castle Orderly: Oh, come on medication time! Hurry up!
Retirement Castle Orderly: Uhp! Mr. Simpson, get out from behind the couch!
Grampa: Call in air support! Call the Canadians! The Boy Scouts! Salvation Army!
• Make Grampa Have War Flashbacks Behind a Couch – 4 hours
• Make Retirement Castle Orderly Regret Checking on Grampa – 4 hours
Retirement Castle Orderly: Mr. Simpson? Yoo hoo, Abe?
Grampa: …
Retirement Castle Orderly: Finally, some peace. He’s asleep.
Retirement Castle Orderly: He’s really quiet though. Oh man, I better check.
Retirement Castle Orderly: No heart beat. Nothing! Oh my God, he’s…he’s…
Grampa: *wide awake* Dead? Not yet.
Retirement Castle Orderly: But…but you had no pulse!
Grampa: Yup. I save it for the news!
Order in the Castle part 3:
Retirement Castle Orderly: It’s good to see you again, Mr. Molloy. How long do you expect to be staying with us this time?
Molloy: Oh, only a few days, I expect. Just lying low for the moment.
Retirement Castle Orderly: Good to see you’ve given up your thieving ways.
Molloy: Yes, it’s the straight and narrow for me, orderly!
Retirement Castle Orderly: It’s Clark, sir.
Molloy: What’s that?
Retirement Castle Orderly: My name.
Molloy: Your name is…? Don’t tell me. Let me guess.
Molloy: But if you’ll excuse me, I see some fans coming and wish not to be bothered. If they ask for me, I’m not here because…well, I’m not.
Retirement Castle Orderly: Please don’t climb out the window.
Molloy: *climbs out window* Farewell!
Wiggum: Excuse me, orderly! Have you seen an elderly gentleman come in here?
Lou: Be more specific, chief. This whole place is lousy with old folks.
Wiggum: Right. Have you seen the elderly gentleman I’m looking for come in here, orderly?
Retirement Castle Orderly: *holds out name tag* My name is Clark. Says it right here.
Wiggum: Let me put on my reading glasses.
Wiggum: Nope, these are my shooting glasses. Nothing more difficult than aiming at a fuzzy perp.
• Make Retirement Castle Orderly Man the Front Desk – 4 hours
• Make Molloy Sneak Out a Window – 4 hours
• Make Wiggum Continue to Communicate Poorly – 4 hours
Retirement Castle Orderly: I’m sorry, sir, but the description you’ve given includes every resident of this facility. Including all of the women.
Wiggum: Even the part where I said they were old?
Retirement Castle Orderly: Especially that part.
Lou: Hey, chief? Didn’t you park right outside the front door?
Wiggum: Sure did. Primo spot.
Lou: Then someone’s stealing your car right now.
Wiggum: Is he a dashing debonair dude with a roguish attitude?
Lou: I can’t determine his roguishness from here.
Retirement Castle Orderly: The man you described sounds like Molloy.
Wiggum: Molloy! That’s his name!
Wiggum: *runs out* Let’s go! Thanks orderly!
Retirement Castle Orderly: *calls after him* It’s Clark!
Order in the Castle part 4:
Retirement Castle Orderly: Okay, Clark. No one knows your name because you’ve got to work on your assertiveness.
Jasper: Hey, orderly. You got any more juice?
Retirement Castle Orderly: *offers orange juice* Yes sir. Here you go.
Jasper: *drinks* Ah, that’s the good stuff.
Jasper: *hands back empty glass* Here. What are ya waiting for? A tip?
Retirement Castle Orderly: No, I just wanted to remind you that my name is…
Jasper: Here’s a tip. Don’t expect a tip from me! *laughs*
Jasper: Catch ya later, waiter.
Retirement Castle Orderly: Ugh! Maybe I should change my name to “Waiter”.
• Make Retirement Castle Orderly Practice Assertiveness – 4 hours
Retirement Castle Orderly: Moleman, I need some advice. You’ve been ignored your whole life, right?
Hans Moleman: Are you actually talking to me?
Retirement Castle Orderly: I guess that answers that. Yes, Moleman, I’m asking you. How do you deal with being taken for granted?
Hans Moleman: Well, every morning I look in the mirror and I tell myself, “You are Hans Moleman. The only and best moleman in the world”.
Retirement Castle Orderly: So, an affirmation?
Hans Moleman: Yes, then I look forward to the day and all the stealing I can easily do because no one notices me.
Retirement Castle Orderly: Well that’s…turning it into a positive. Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.
Hans Moleman: Thanks, Clark. *hobbles out*
Retirement Castle Orderly: He said my name!
Retirement Castle Orderly: My wallet!
Order in the Castle part 5:
Retirement Castle Orderly: Good evening, Abe. Here’s your nighttime dose.
Grampa: What’s wrong with your face? Why are you frowning up?
Retirement Castle Orderly: There’s that sense of humor we all love! Sleep well, Abe.
Grampa: Why’s he so happy? Bet he’s been dippin’ into our meds.
Jasper: Or he’s poisoned them.
Grampa: *eyes pill in his hand* Hmm…only one way to find out. You go first.
Jasper: Okay. For science! *tosses pill into his mouth*
Jasper: …
• Make Retirement Castle Orderly Perform His Rounds – 4 hours
Jasper: There’s something wrong with that orderly. He’s happy. Too happy.
Grampa: Any happy is too happy!
Old Jewish Man: He’s probably found a new job.
Grampa: Yeah, it’s probably something important too, with meetings here and there…
Jasper: …a jet-setting life crisscrossing the world to make hot deals for big money!
Old Jewish Man: And the women! One on each arm. That’s all the arms he has!
Jasper: And bathtubs full of champagne.
Grampa: Hm, if he’s gonna be such a big shot, we should really learn his name.
Permanent tasks:
• Task: Polish His Name Tag
• Time: 1 Hour
• Premium: No
• Earns: 70 $$s, 17 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Springfield Retirement Castle, Moving On, assorted Homes
• Task: Practice Assertiveness
• Time: 4 Hours
• Premium: No
• Earns: 175 $$s, 45 XP
• Animated: Yes
• Location: Outside – visual
• Task: Relax While Off Shift
• Time: 8 Hours
• Premium: No
• Earns: 275 $$s, 70 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Parks
• Task: Monitor The Residents
• Time: 12 Hours
• Premium: No
• Earns: 420 $$s, 100 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Springfield Retirement Castle, Moving On, assorted Homes
• Task: Perform His Rounds
• Time: 24 Hours
• Premium: No
• Earns: 600 $$s, 150 XP
• Animated: Yes
• Location: Outside – visual
Back on Monday with the Dialog Recap.
Have a good weekend everyone.
