If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for this act …
PS – A reminder that act 2 starts tomorrow
In this post:
• Intro: Belly Up
• Prize Track: More Pie Than Wool parts 1 to 5
Intro: Belly Up
Krusty: And that’s the end of our show! Good night and good luck!
Krusty: Uh…
Krusty: Where’s the applause? All I hear are crickets.
Krusty: Hey Mel, did those stupid exterminators poison the audience instead of the crickets?
Sideshow Mel: No, Krusty. There was no audience. No one showed up.
Krusty: No one? But I’m Krusty the Clown! I had the number one live kids TV show in the tri-state area.
Sideshow Mel: You still do. You also have the only live kids TV show in the tri-state area.
Krusty: Ugh. That’s what I get for telling those exterminators to eliminate the competition.
• Make Krusty Meet With His Agent – 6 seconds
• Make Sideshow Mel Update His Resume – 6 seconds
Krusty: You’re my agent. You’ve got to do something!
Lindsay Naegle: Just by way of a reminder, I’m your REAL ESTATE agent, but I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.
Krusty: So, I’m not going to have to sell my house and move into my car?
Lindsay Naegle: Oh, I didn’t know you thought that. In that case, it’s exactly as bad as you think. And you’ll have to evict your eleven tenants.
Krusty: Ugh. That’s what I get for making an Airbnb out of a clown car.
Prize Track: More Pie Than Wool parts 1 to 5
More Pie Than Wool part 1:
● Pie-apult (Decoration)
Lindsay Naegle: Look, Krusty, I’m not in the entertainment industry but even I know that kids don’t watch TV anymore. They only watch streaming services.
Krusty: Then why am I losing money on Krust+?
Lindsay Naegle: Maybe people just don’t want to sign up for another streaming subscription. I know I don’t.
Krusty: But why are we not getting hits on the free clips on KrusTube?
Lindsay Naegle: People probably want shorter videos. I know I do.
Krusty: Then surely KrusTok must be the next big thing.
Lindsay Naegle: Isn’t that being used by the Chinese to spy on people?
Lindsay Naegle: …I know I am.
• Collect Clown Horns – x 115 
• Watch Clown Performances – x 5 ( Tap 5 Clown NPCs )
• Make Krusty Begin to Despair – 4 hours
• Make Lindsey Naegle Pretend to Sympathize – 4 hours
More Pie Than Wool part 2:
● Kid Wall (Decoration)
Krusty: I’ve officially hit rock bottom.
Moe: I sympathize Krusty, I really do but, if you’re not drinking…get the hell out.
Krusty: What are you talking about? To me, hitting rock bottom means more drinking. Gimme your highest proof, lowest priced hooch. Got any Absolut Krusty?
Moe: The health department won’t let me serve that stuff. If you wanna drink that, you gotta go to Mussel & Flanks…
Moe: But no one with even a shred of self-respect would go there— Hey, where did he go?
Leaky Pants: Welcome to Mussel & Flanks, Krusty. About time you turned up here.
Krusty: Leaky Pants?! Times must be really tough if you’re drinking here.
Leaky Pants: Actually, I’m working here.
Krusty: Then I don’t feel so bad.
Leaky Pants: Don’t get me wrong. I’m also drinking here.
• Collect Clown Horns – x 115
• Watch Clown Performances – x 5 ( Tap 5 Clown NPCs )
• Make Krusty Wallow in Shame – 4 hours
Krusty: What’s with the short videos these *hic* kids watch anyway? I mean, I like beer nuts as much as the next guy but you need a full meal every so often, too.
Leaky Pants: I think you have to keep things quick or you risk losing your viewers. You know what I mean—
Krusty: MORE BEER NUTS!
Leaky Pants: Yeah, you know what I mean.
More Pie Than Wool part 3:
● Mystery Box Token (Currency)
Little Debbie Dimples: Krusty, is that you?
Krusty: I hope so. These are my pants and I better be in ’em. *hic*
Little Debbie Dimples: It’s me, Little Debbie Dimples.
Krusty: Debbie? Little Debbie Dimples? Is that you?
Little Debbie Dimples: I just said it was, Pie Puss.
Krusty: Oh, Debbie, everything was going great for me and then I was told something that made me want to end it all.
Little Debbie Dimples: It can’t be that bad. Quit clownin’ around.
Krusty: That’s what I was told!
• Collect Clown Horns – x 155
• Watch Clown Performances – x 5 ( Tap 5 Clown NPCs )
• Make Krusty Sober Up – 4 hours
Krusty: Debbie, I haven’t seen you since the last time my show ended with no applause and my agent told me it was because kids don’t watch TV anymore.
Little Debbie Dimples: Oh, I don’t think that happened exactly like that.
Krusty: Sure it did. I came here to Mussel & Flanks to commiserate, and we discovered that Leaky Pants was a waiter. It’s total déjà vu.
Little Debbie Dimples: Krusty, I think you’ve had too much to drink.
Leaky Pants: Or not enough.
Krusty: You’re both right! *gulp*
More Pie Than Wool part 4:
● Clown Car (Decoration)
Krusty: This day can’t get any worse. I’m broke, unemployed, drunk…
Little Debbie Dimples: And boring, don’t forget boring.
Krusty: Hey! I’m just monologuing to work things out!
Leaky Pants: Well, you’re not going to solve your problems by drinking the swill I’ve been serving you.
Krusty: Sure I am. I do my best thinking when I’m sauced.
Leaky Pants: Maybe, but we’re all out of swill.
Krusty: Aughhh! This day CAN get worse.
• Collect Clown Horns – x 115
• Watch Clown Performances – x 5 ( Tap 5 Clown NPCs )
• Make Krusty Get an Idea – 4 hours
More Pie Than Wool part 5:
● Little Debbie Dimples (Character)
Little Debbie Dimples: I know what to do! Why don’t you open a private school for clowning.
Leaky Pants: That’s a great idea, Debbie. And it’s sure to generate a new and original storyline.
Krusty: Wait, I’m getting that sense of déjà vu again. I really feel like this all happened before.
Mesmerino: *dangles pocket watch* When I snap my fingers you will forget everything about what happened before and sober up. *snaps fingers*
Krusty: I still remember everything.
Mesmerino: I was talking to the player.
• Collect Clown Horns – x 195
• Watch Clown Performances – x 5 ( Tap 5 Clown NPCs )
• Make Krusty Open a Clowning School – 4 hours
Krusty: I present to you the Herschel Krustofsky’s School for the Clowning Arts!
Little Debbie Dimples: Why isn’t my name on the sign?
Krusty: Why should your name be on the sign?
Little Debbie Dimples: It was my idea.
Krusty: Hey, sign guy, can you add another name?
Raphael: Sorry pal-ey, this is the same sign we used last time.
Krusty: You heard the man, Debbie.
Little Debbie Dimples: Sure, when it’s to your advantage, then you don’t care about the déjà vu.
That wraps up Act 1, back when it’s time for Act 2.
