If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for this act …
In this post:
• Prize Track: Vengeance Is a Dish Best Microwaved
• Outro: Zen and the Art of Relationship Maintenance
Prize Track:
Vengeance Is a Dish Best Microwaved parts 1 to 5
Vengeance Is a Dish Best Microwaved part 1:
● Grand Chasm (Decoration)
Fat Tony: *driving at high speed* Homer, would you care to explain why this Costas Becker maniac is chasing us?
The Cropfather: I have no idea! And I have no idea why the police are chasing him, or why the FBI is chasing both of them!
Fat Tony: I believe they’re all chasing us.
The Cropfather: What makes you think that?
Fat Tony: Because they’re all chasing us!
The Cropfather: Uh-oh! That’s the Grand Chasm up ahead and you’re not slowing down!
Fat Tony: No, I am not.
The Cropfather: Is this a “They’ll never take me alive!” thing? Because I’m definitely okay with being taken alive.
• Collect Handcuffs – x 85 
• Make Costas Becker Chase the Cropfather – 4 hours
• Make Lenora Carter Chase the Cropfather – 4 hours
• Make Wiggum Chase the Cropfather – 4 hours
• Make The Cropfather Scream Like a Child – 4 hours
• Make Fat Tony Drive Off a Cliff – 4 hours
Lenora Carter: *driving intensely* They’ll slow down. They’ve got to!
Wiggum: You’re going awful fast, Lou!
Lou: That’s ’cause one of your day-old donuts is jammed under the gas pedal!
Wiggum: Don’t get it dirty! Lemme-get-it!
Fat Tony: Brace yourself, Homer. *drives off the cliff*
Costas Becker: *driving menacingly* Driving off a cliff won’t save you! *drives off cliff*
Wiggum: *pulls donut from under gas pedal* Annnnd…got it!
Lou: AAAAAAAAAAH! *screeches to a halt*
Lenora Carter: Is that a parachute coming out of the back of Fat Tony’s car?
Costas Becker: Parachutes are for cowards! *fiery crash*
Wiggum: Aw, Lou, thanks a lot. Your foot squeezed the jelly all out of my donut!
Costas Becker: A fiery crash won’t stop me from getting what is mine!
Vengeance Is a Dish Best Microwaved part 2:
● Riot Police (Crowd Decoration)
Fat Tony: Committing the ONLY crime in this town is harder than keeping our noses clean!
Legs: Boss, why is Costas Becker after us? You never crossed paths with him before.
Fat Tony: True. I have never done business with this gentleman. You, Homer?
The Cropfather: Borrow money from a psychotic loan shark and forget to pay him, and then forget that I had borrowed money in the first place… Nah, that doesn’t sound like me.
Fat Tony: It sounds EXACTLY like you!
• Collect Handcuffs – x 105
• Make Fat Tony Worry About Where This Is Going – 4 hours
• Make The Cropfather Try to Remember What He Had for Lunch – 4 hours
• Make Costas Becker Track Down The Cropfather – 4 hours
Vengeance Is a Dish Best Microwaved part 3:
● Mafia Front (Building)
Fat Tony: Holy cannoli!
The Cropfather: Holy stromboli even! Our tomacco crops are all on fire!
Cletus: Mah barn is burnin’ too!
Cletus: That’s where I keep my moonshine and my meth lab. Don’t be surprised if’n we hear a hiss, a pop, and a couple kabooms.
Fat Tony: This is the work of Costas Becker!
The Cropfather: I’m sure he hates us, but does he “torch us to the ground” hate us?
Fat Tony: *reads letter left on Cletus’ doorstep* “Dear Deadbeats, until my book is balanced, I will burn down everything you hold dear — along with a lot of stuff that you don’t. Yours in hate, Costas Becker”.
The Cropfather: I’m sorry but it’s hard to be angry at someone who takes the time to write a physical letter these days.
• Collect Handcuffs – x 115
• Make Costas Becker Set Things on Fire – 4 hours
• Make Wise Guys Go to the Mattresses – x 2, 4 hours
• Make The Cropfather Try to Nap – 4 hours
Fat Tony: This disrespect will not go unpunished!
Louie: I hate when he gets this way.
Fat Tony: Buckle up, boys! We’re going to the mattresses.
The Cropfather: Oh, good. I’ll take a plush pillow top please.
Vengeance Is a Dish Best Microwaved part 4:
● Springfield Penitentiary Bus (Decoration)
Marge: Now we’ve got no-law-abiding citizens shooting it up in our streets! Someone needs to do something.
Wiggum: Sorry, Marge. We’d love to but gang wars aren’t illegal anymore.
Quimby: And I don’t even get a kickback for turning a blind eye!
Wiggum: If you’re gonna complain about the lack of laws, I’m gonna have to arrest you…I think. The no-law is very gray in this area.
Marge: Homer, where are you going with our bed?
The Cropfather: Fat Tony said we’re going to the mattresses. I think it’s a mob sleepover.
Marge: *annoyed murmur*
• Collect Handcuffs – x 105
• Make Springfielders Complain About Mob War – x 5, 4 hours
• Make The Cropfather Try to Steal a Mattress – 4 hours
• Make Marge Stop Homer From Taking Their Mattress – 4 hours
• Make Costas Becker Fight Gangsters – 4 hours
• Make Wise Guys Fight Becker – x 2, 4 hours
• Make Quimby Complain About Lack of Kickbacks – 4 hours
Fat Tony: Where did Costas Becker get all of these guys to fight for him?
Cletus: They’z former tomacco growers. They put down their pitchforks and picked up their double-barrels.
Louie: They’re pointing those guns every which way.
Cletus: It’s also openin’ day of possum huntin’ season.
Vengeance Is a Dish Best Microwaved part 5:
● Fly Jetpack (Animated Job for Wiggum)
Fat Tony: Okay, enough of this pointless conflict. I have decided to send a payment to Costas Becker to settle our beef.
The Cropfather: *drooling* Mmm, beef…
Louie: Wait. Boss, you’re giving up by giving Costas money?!
Fat Tony: You really don’t know me, do you, Louie? There’s also a big fat bomb in the package.
• Collect Handcuffs – x 145
• Make Quimby Get Tough on Crime – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Encourage Quimby Not to Get too Tough – 4 hours
• Make Fat Tony Seemingly Blow Up Costas Becker – 4 hours
• Make Costas Becker Get Seemingly Blown Up – 4 hours
Quimby: Bombs are illegal again, Fat Tony. Hand it over…nice and easy.
Fat Tony: Mr. Mayor, don’t tell me you’re bowing to public pressure.
Quimby: I’m bowing to my need for campaign kickbacks. They’ve dried up.
Quimby: I have private jets, country club memberships, and mistresses to pay for.
Quimby: Once again it’s time to get tough on crime!
Wiggum: Okay, Cropfather, you and your gang are under arrest for attempted deployment of a kaboom thingy.
The Cropfather: D’oh!
Fat Tony: I’m sure there’s a way we can come to an understanding with the Mayor and his boys in blue.
Kickback Quimby: I accept all kickback payment forms: Venmo, PayPal, Diner’s Club…
Wiggum: And I’ll accept any cool jetpack that can lift my weight!
Outro:
Zen and the Art of Relationship Maintenance
Fat Tony: See, Homer? There was nothin’ to worry about.
Homer: We never got thrown into jail, and that Costas Becker guy is off our backs. Life is good!
Marge: Costas Becker? That’s the guy you borrowed money from to go into the tomacco business!
Homer: Yes. No. Maybe?
Fat Tony: *annoyed grumble*
Costas Becker: And here I am! Not as dead as you wished me to be!
Homer: Hey, honey, how ’bout we go shopping for a new mattress RIGHT NOW!
Wiggum: And I’ll strap on my jetpack and fly away from danger!
• Make Wise Guys Bribe Their Way Out of Prison – x 2, 4 hours
• Make Quimby Happily Accept “Donations” – 4 hours
• Make Homer Go Mattress Shopping – 4 hours
• Make Costas Becker Surprise No One by Not Being Dead – 4 hours
• Make Wiggum “Enjoy” His Jetpack – 4 hours
That wraps up this event, back when the next update hits.
