Heaven Won’t Wait: Act 4 Dialog Recap

Heaven Won't Wait Splash
If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time then you’re in luck. Here’s all the dialog and tasks for Act 4 of this event

What’s in this post
• Prize track parts 1 to 5
• Outro

Prize Track: A Heavenly Chorus Line parts 1 to 5

A Heavenly Chorus Line part 1:

Ned: So this time God has actually forsaken us! What do we do now?
Kirk: Do we freak out again?
Wiggum: Let’s not. I’m honestly still kinda tired from the last time we freaked out.
Lisa: Listen, it’s not too late for us to pull together and rally around love and compassion!
Helen Lovejoy: Oh, sure, let’s listen to the little atheist girl! You’re probably happy God has abandoned us.
Lisa: I’m not—
Lovejoy: Yes, it’s all her fault — and definitely not ours!

• Collect Heavenly Clouds – x 155 Act 4 Heavenly Clouds
• Make Good People Blame Everyone But Themselves – x 3, 4 hours
• Make Lisa Run and Hide – 4 hours

Nedward Flanders Sr: Hey there, Lisa! Come join us on this vacant cloud we found.
Capri Flanders: Yeah, freethinkers are always welcome in our drum circle.
Lisa: Thanks! Things are getting a little weird around here.
Nedward Flanders Sr: Getting?
Lisa: Fair point.

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and decoration: Vacant Cloud

A Heavenly Chorus Line part 2:

Ned: You don’t need to hide, Lisa. I’ll make sure you’re okay.
Lisa: Thanks, Mr. Flanders.
Homer: There’s the heretic girl!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Sorry. I thought we were still doing that.
Ned: We need to stop blaming each other and turn to Jesus for guidance.
Jesus Christ: Who, me?
Ned: What should we do, Lord?
Jesus Christ: Uh, verily I sayeth unto you…
Ned: Yes?
Jesus Christ: …that when your parents are out of town the only thing to do is PARTY!
Jesus Christ: I’m gonna throw a wicked rager with my buddies Buddha and Krishna!
Ned: That was less helpful than I had hoped.

• Collect Heavenly Clouds – x 155 Act 4 Heavenly Clouds
• Make Jesus Party Like It’s 19 AD – 4 hours
• Make Buddha Celebrate His New Fifth Noble Truth – 4 hours
• Make Ned Start to Lose Faith in Faith – 4 hours

Lisa: Buddha, you’ve created a Fifth Noble Truth?
Gautama Buddha: That’s right, Lisa!
Lisa: I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what is it?
Gautama Buddha: That in this world of illusion…
Gautama Buddha: You gotta fight for your right to PARTY!

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and building: Heavenly Showroom

A Heavenly Chorus Line part 3:

Lisa: You know what, I think Jesus is right!
Jesus Christ: I am? No one’s ever said that before.
Ned: *ahem*
Jesus Christ: No one who actually knows me, I mean.
Lisa: Instead of focusing on what’s bad about humanity, we should celebrate everything that’s good about us!

• Collect Heavenly Clouds – x 155 Act 4 Heavenly Clouds
• Make Lisa Appeal to Goodness One Last Time – 4 hours
• Make Springfielders Get the Wrong Idea – x 5, 4 hours
• Make Jesus Take Credit for Lisa’s Idea – 4 hours

Homer: Maybe I watched too much TV when I was a kid, but what I’m hearing is…it’s time to put on a show!
Lisa: That’s not really what I—
Jesus Christ: That’s exactly what we should do — and I’m totally taking credit for this idea!

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and Gates of Heaven bundle
Bundle includes Gates of Heaven and 14 Heavenly Fences

A Heavenly Chorus Line part 4:

Lisa: Mr. Busby, can you help us put on a show? I could play my saxophone—
Chazz Busby: Hate the sax. You’re out!
Chazz Busby: A show? Is there a script, a score, a budget, a schedule?
Homer: We don’t have any of those things.
Chazz Busby: Love it! More room for my genius to shine!
Chazz Busby: Kid, go to the Kwik-E-Mart and get me some energy drinks!
Bart: Do you want the one that makes people jittery, the one that makes them want to run a marathon, or the one that makes them want to start tech companies?
Chazz Busby: All that jazz!
Chazz Busby: Now, what have we got for talent?
Homer: There’s Lenny, Carl, Moe, Comic Book Guy…
Chazz Busby: Cut! Next!
Lurleen: You’re cheatin’—
Chazz Busby: Next!
Vicki Valentine: *tappa-tappa*
Chazz Busby: Next!
Chazz Busby: Open casting starts now!
Abraham Lincoln: People! People! Now is not the time to divide, but to unite!
George Washington: Oh, here we go again…

• Collect Heavenly Clouds – x 115 Act 4 Heavenly Clouds
• Make Abraham Lincoln Give a Stirring Speech – 4 hours
• Make Springfielders Be Moved by Lincoln’s Speech – x 5, 4 hours
• Make George Washington Resent that Showoff Lincoln – 4 hours

Abraham Lincoln: …and that is how we shall come together as a people and win back the favor of providence once more.
Skinner: Hear! Hear!
Marge: So wonderful!
George Washington: Yeah, yeah. “Lincoln gave a speech, and it was good! Oh, I’m soooo surprised!”
Robert ELee: Well I think it was terrible and stupid!
Abraham Lincoln: Robert E. Lee?! What are you doing here?
Old Scratch: Need I remind you that Hell has already been in Springfield for a few years now?
Chazz Busby: And again, from the top!
Abraham Lincoln: But we’ve done it four score and seven times!
Chazz Busby: You’re playing for the biggest macher of them all — God. This isn’t some Gettysburg Address rehearsal!

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and building: Celebrity Heaven

A Heavenly Chorus Line part 5:

Ned: Dear God, we humbly beseech you to return to us and accept our offering of variety show entertainment!
God: *sigh* This sounds boring, but fine, let’s see how you people screw this up.
God: By the way, was this Jesus’ idea?
Jesus Christ: Totally!
God: Well, at least I know to be disappointed in advance then.
Chazz Busby: “Humbly beseech?” What kind of wet-noodle intro is that! You said you were an experienced Master of Ceremonies.
Ned: I am! My specialties are baptisms, communions, and funerals!
Chazz Busby: You can start saying one for this show. Because we’re dying out there!

• Collect Heavenly Clouds – x 195 Act 4 Heavenly Clouds
• Make Beethoven Jam Divinely – 4 hours
• Make Krusty Make Jokes at Jesus’ Expense – 4 hours
• Make Ned Pray that God Likes Their Show – 4 hours
• Make Homer Barge Onto the Stage – 4 hours

Krusty: …Jesus gets to be the “Lord and Savior”, but he never even won a celebrity dance contest! Talk about nepotism!
God: Hahaha! That’s so true!
Krusty: What’s the difference between a Roman centurion and Jesus?
Krusty: A Roman centurion gives you a pain in your side, while Jesus gives you a pain in the neck!
God: It’s true!
Krusty: These Christians are always asking, “What would Jesus do?” Well, I’ll tell you what he wouldn’t do — get a haircut!
God: I know, right?
Krusty: Why did Jesus give Saint Peter the keys to heaven? Because he drank so much at the Last Supper he was in no position to judge anyone.
Krusty: Did he really turn his blood into wine — or was that just what the breathalyzer said?
God: Inquiring minds want to know!
Lisa: I can’t believe this is actually going to work.
Homer: Hang on, it can’t be a show without me! *barges his way onto the stage*
Ned: Homer, don’t!
Lisa: There it is.
Homer: God, I want to show you — WHOA! *trips and gets head stuck in a tuba*
God: HAHAHA! Fat guys getting their heads stuck in things is comedy gold!
Homer: *TOOT*
God: Okay, okay, maybe I was being too harsh. I’ll put everything back to normal now. You can all relax.
Burns: *ahem* Now there’s just the small matter of the fourteen billion dollars you owe me.
God: What?!
Burns: While you were gone I bought the trademark to “Heaven” from the Church. They had gone broke contributing dark money to political campaigns.
God: Oh no you didn’t.

Reward: 100 $$s, 10 XP and building: Hindu Heaven

This starts once you complete all 4 Acts

The Gates of Wrath:

God: Okay, that’s it! It’s Smiting Time — and this time I really, really mean it!
Ned: But you said you were going to spare humanity!
God: Oh, I am sparing humanity — just not Springfield! Springfield doesn’t count.
Jesus Christ: Haha! Good one, Dad!
God: That includes you.
Jesus Christ: What? And I’m starting to wonder what mom saw in you.
God: Things were different before you were born. But afterwards she started to get clingy, so I had to angel her.
Jesus Christ: “Angel” her?
God: I didn’t take her prayers and just sent angels to talk to her.
Lisa: We cancel celebrities for treating women like that now.
Marge: So you’re just going to do something that Homer already did?
Lenny: Hey, that’s right, Homer’s already blown up Springfield.
Carl: Does that mean…Homer is God?
Bart: That makes me the Son of God. Haha, “eat my shorts” is now a commandment!
Homer: Hmm…then what’s the Holy Spirit?
Lisa: Sky Finger, of course!

• Make Church Goers Debate Theological Implications – x 3, 4 hours
• Make Jesus Try to Get His Dad’s Attention – 4 hours
• Make God Get Bored of All This Religious Stuff – 4 hours
• Make Springfielders “Cancel” God – x 5, 4 hours

Yahweh: Come on, man, let’s go grab eighteen holes at the Heavenly Golf Course and let the humans do their own weird thing.
God: *sigh* Okay, fine — as long as you stop cheating on your drops.
Ned: So you’re really not out to destroy us anymore?
God: Nah, I’m fine now.
God: But I’m still mad at Jesus for what he did to my place while I was gone.

Reward: 200 $$s, 20 XP


… and we’re done !!

2 responses to “Heaven Won’t Wait: Act 4 Dialog Recap

  1. Yahweh never showed up for me

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