Snow Place Like the Woods: Act 4 Dialog Recap

 
If you’ve been zapping through your tapping and it’s all been a bit of a blur or if you just fancied a reminder of what the writers got up to this time you’re in luck.
Here’s all the dialog and tasks for act 4 …

Here’s what’s in this post:
• Prize Track: Coming Home for Christmas parts 1 to 5
• Outro: The Creeping Mold of Christmas

Prize Track: Coming Home for Christmas parts 1 to 5

Coming Home for Christmas part 1:
● Retirement Castle Excursion Shuttle (Decoration)

Homer: Come on, come on! Pick up!
Phone: RING! RING!
Grampa: Hello?
Homer: What did you do?
Grampa: Narrow it down. I’ve lived a long time. And who is this?!
Marge: Give me the phone, Homer.
Marge: Hello, Abe? This is Marge, how are you doing?
Grampa: Well, my knee’s been acting up and my son stuck me in a home and never calls. Also the corned beef here is mostly corn…
Marge: Okay, well now that Homer has calmed down, I’m going to give the phone back to him. He has some questions for you.

• Collect Toxic Samples – x 115
• Make Marge Give the Phone to Homer – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Hold Up Prompt Cards – 4 hours

Homer: Dad, did you receive any gifts in the past year or so? Perhaps of the real estate variety?
Grampa: Oh, yes! There was a big to-do on Arbor Day when this fancy lawyer came by and gave presents to all the residents at the home.
Grampa: Which you’d have known about if you’d come to celebrate like a good son!
Homer: No one celebrates Arbor Day! Even trees think it’s dumb!

Coming Home For Christmas part 2:
● Retirement Castle Orderly (Character)

Homer: Dad! Just listen. Who gave you the land with the cabin?
Grampa: I don’t know. The fancy lawyer told us about it. He also did all my estate planning.
Homer: The lawyer who did your estate plan was the same guy who gave you the land?
Grampa: Yeah! He was the same one who came by to do my estate planning, too. Very nice man. Useful!
Grampa: Yup I remember now. He said he was giving us parcels of land and putting it right in our wills. Now that I hear myself say that it sounds a bit hinky.
Homer: Lisa?
Lisa: Yes?
Homer: Can your good brain help my bad brain understand this?

• Collect Toxic Samples – x 150
• Make Lisa Figure It All Out – 4 hours
• Make Homer Wait for an Explanation – 4 hours

Lisa: It looks like Mr. Burns gifted the land to the retirees and then paid for estate plans to be drawn up so the inheritors would be stuck cleaning up his dump sites.
Homer: Did you hear that?
Grampa: No, but I understood it even less!
Homer: You let Mr. Burns give you a toxic waste dump and now it’s our problem!
Grampa: Not so fast! There’s one catch.
Homer: A catch? Oh, goody goody! What is it?
Grampa: The lawyer fella said that land ain’t legally ours until we set foot on it.
Homer: …
Grampa: So as long as you aren’t stupid enough to go up there and hoof around, we’re totally fine.
Homer: …
Grampa: You still there?
Homer: Sorry! Bad phone line! We’re in Tahiti! *hangs up*

Coming Home for Christmas part 3:
● Snow Place Mystery Box Token

Bart: Man, as far as vacations go, I think this officially qualifies as our worst one ever.
Marge: And as usual it ends with a trip to Dr. Hibbert’s to get rabies shots for you.
Bart: How would I know that dead racoon I was poking with a stick wasn’t dead?
Marge: That stick was a rusty nail.
Bart: So better throw in a tetanus shot too.
Homer: Lisa, any ideas about how we get out of this predicament? *stomach groan*
Marge: Homer, try to find us a diner or somewhere we can stop and get some food. That might help.
Homer: Predicaments make me hungry. *stomach groan*
Lisa: *covering ears* …
Marge: Homer, find us a diner so we can eat. Lisa can’t think on your empty stomach.

• Collect Toxic Samples – x 115
• Make Homer Pull Into a Diner – 4 hours
• Make Marge Worry About Her Family – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Try to Think of a Solution – 4 hours

Lisa: Dad, I…I don’t know how to get us out of this situation. I’m not a real estate attorney.
Homer: I’ve always suspected that. Hey! How about we stop by a law school and you pick up a degree?
Marge: We are not stopping. We need to get Bart to Dr. Hibbert’s as soon as possible.
Bart: Yeah, you don’t like me now…just think of me with rabies.

Coming Home for Christmas part 4:
● Crowd of Cranky Elderly (Decoration)

Dr Hibbert: Yeah, my father got tricked just like yours. I didn’t realize what happened until I was already standing on the property!
Homer: See Marge? Doctor Hibbert made the same mistake as me and he’s a doctor! This proves I could have been a doctor.
Marge: Okay, Dr. Homer.
Dr Hibbert: But don’t worry! I discovered something a bit unusual with the dump site and called a friend to come help out.

• Collect Toxic Samples – x 115
• Make the Simpsons Wait for Hibbert’s Friend – x 4, 4 hours

Walther Hotenhoffer: Good to see you again, Julius.
Dr Hibbert: Walther, I’d like to introduce you to…
Walther Hotenhoffer: Lisa Simpson! Wir treffen uns wieder!
Homer: *whispering loudly* Is this guy an outer-space alien?
Lisa: No, Dad, that was German.
Lisa: Walther, it’s good to see you again, too. Dr. Hibbert thinks you might be able to help us with our problem.
Walther Hotenhoffer: At your service!
Homer: *whispering loudly* Was that German, too?
Dr Hibbert: *offers Homer a lollipop* Here, Homer, suck on a lollipop while we discuss this.
Homer: *suck suck*
Maggie: *suck suck* *makes a ‘that’s my thing’ gesture*

Coming Home For Christmas part 5:
● Springfield Medical Center (Building)

Walther Hotenhoffer: Yes, I see…that is quite a problem! But how may I help?
Dr Hibbert: Well, I took some samples of the soil near the toxic site. I was hoping your scientists could analyze them.
Walther Hotenhoffer: My scientists would love to do precisely that!
Homer: Uh, Dr. Hibbert? How is all this nerd crap going to help us ditch our crappy property?
Dr Hibbert: *chuckles* Well, if my hunch is right, you might be able to find an interested party willing to buy your land and take this cleanup off your hands.
Homer: Woohoo!

• Collect Toxic Samples – x 185
• Make Walther Hotenhoffer Contact His Science Team – 4 hours
• Make Homer Start a Victory Dance – 4 hours
• Make Lisa Worry How This Is Going to Go Wrong – 4 hours

Walther Hotenhoffer: Yes, yes, those are very interesting results indeed… Thank you, and thank all the scientists who participated in the analysis. Goodbye. *hangs up*
Walther Hotenhoffer: Mr. Simpson, I have excellent news! Tell your father I am willing to purchase the land and assume all responsibility for cleanup efforts.
Homer: We accept!
Walther Hotenhoffer: I haven’t given you a price yet.
Homer: I’ll let it go at any price and that is my final offer.
Walther Hotenhoffer: We’ll need your father’s approval, of course.
Homer: For this, I’ll drive you there myself to finalize everything!
Lisa: Dad, do you maybe want to think about this for a moment?
Homer: You’re right. There is something I should consider here.
Homer: That’s it! My shirtless victory dance! Everybody stand back.
Swimsuit Homer: *dancing with shirt off* …!

Outro: The Creeping Mold of Christmas

Marge: What a relief to be free of that icky radioactive toxic pit.
Bart: We still have Homer’s clothes hamper.
Homer: Oh Bart, I’m too happy right now to strangle you.
Bart: Good.
Homer: I’ll do it later.
Marge: Well, it’s so good to see everyone so happy.
Lisa: I’m not.
Marge: Of course.
Lisa: It bothers me. What did Hotenhoffer’s scientist find in that soil that made him so willing to buy that land from us? I’ll call him.
Bart: Call all you want. He’s not going to be your boyfriend.
Lisa: Oh yuck Bart! Just…yuck!

• Make Lisa Call Walther Hotenhoffer – 4 hours
• Make Walther Hotenhoffer Visit the Simpson Home – 4 hours

Walther Hotenhoffer: Good afternoon, Simpsons. I hope it’s all right that I stopped by. I wanted to share with you that we discovered a new strain of algae in the water of the lake on the property we purchased.
Homer: Ha, sucker! No take-backs!
Walther Hotenhoffer: No take-backs necessary. This algae not only feeds on and destroys toxic radiation, which will significantly improve our ability to clean up toxic dumps around the world…
Lisa: Wow! That’s fantastic news!
Walther Hotenhoffer: It will likely make my company hundreds of millions of dollars.
Homer: I lost out on hundreds of millions? Now I have to win the lottery twice!
Walther Hotenhoffer: And there’s more.
Homer: Please, please, please let it be a bad thing!
Walther Hotenhoffer: It turns out the algae converts the toxic waste into a candy substance which will bring joy to people around the world!
Bart: Candy? What flavor?
Walther Hotenhoffer: Butterscotch.
Grampa: Homer, you idiot!
Grampa: *tearing paper* Just for that I’m tearing up that dang-gum DNR!
Homer: Aww, this is the worst Christmas ever!
Bart: Hey, I’m enjoying this part.

That wraps things up for this event, back when the next update hits.