Right then, you’ve got your Rundown and Turbo Tappin’ up so lets take a look at the cash offering for this event …
Mob Lawyer and Giuseppe’s (Character and Building)
As ever this isn’t exactly a Should I Buy, more like it’s a look at what you get if you decide to spend some real money so you can make your own minds up.
Here’s what’s in this post:
• Basic info
• Questline with Dialog
• Permanent tasks
Lets get started then, shall we . . .
Basic info:
Cost: In app purchase, 132 Donut bundle
● Mob Lawyer (Character)
• Premium: Yes
• Voiced: No
• Questline: Yes
• Animated Job(s): Yes, 4 and 12 hour jobs
Note: Earns event currency
Bundled with:
● Giuseppe’s (Building)
• Built: 6 seconds
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 135 $$s and 15 XP every 4 hours
• Job(s): Yes, Mob Lawyer
Questline with Dialog:
Mob Law part 1:
Mob Lawyer: Anthony! What a surprise. I haven’t been this surprised since my horoscope said I’d have a peaceful day.
Fat Tony: Good, good. You’re here. Just like my espresso in the morning — expected but always a relief. Now, you can help us deal with our little…problem.
Mob Lawyer: What seems to be the issue? Don’t tell me someone forgot to recycle their pizza boxes again.
Fat Tony: It appears that some of our associates have been implicated in some activities that the police tend to look at…unfavorably. Like a cat looks at a new sofa.
Mob Lawyer: I see. I see. And I’m assuming that these implications are as unfounded as my uncle’s claim that he invented the question mark?
Fat Tony: Of course, as always. It’s all hearsay, rumors, whispers in the wind. Probably just one of my professional associates attempting to gain an advantage in an upcoming negotiation. You know, like when kids claim they have an “invisible friend” who did the mischief.
Mob Lawyer: I’m quite sure I didn’t just hear that, Anthony. My hearing tends to selectively fade, like my enthusiasm for New Year’s resolutions.
Fat Tony: Oh. Yes, yes, of course. You heard nothing.
Mob Lawyer: Well, I’ll just head over to the precinct to make sure everything is in order.
Fat Tony: Yes, you…let me know if you need anything else, will you?
Mob Lawyer: As always. And remember, Anthony, I’m like a good blender — I can mix things up without leaving any trace.
Lou: Hey, Wiggum? Lawyer is here.
Wiggum: Great. Right when I was finally figuring out how to turn on my new body cam.
Wiggum: It’s like they made it impossible to turn on intentionally! I mean, it has like fifteen different “OFF” buttons and only one, super-tiny “ON” button.
Mob Lawyer: Thank you, officers. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to speak with my client in private now, thanks.
Wiggum: Oh yeah, of course. We’ve got tons of policing to do right now.
Lou: No, Chief, it’s actually pretty quiet today.
Wiggum: Shh, Lou. I’m trying to make it seem like we’re serious cops with a lot on our plates.
Lou: Oh yeah, we’re super serious as cops. Ooh, there’s a bank robbery happening right now. Let’s go to it.
Wiggum: *whispering* Nicely done.
Legs: Okay, so we’re private now. Can we talk freely?
Mob Lawyer: Are you out of your mind? We’re in a police station. We can only talk semi-freely. Just remember: no names.
Legs: Okay, no names.
Mob Lawyer: How about we go through what happened? We need to untangle this mess like a pair of earbuds in your pocket.
Legs: Your earbuds aren’t wireless?
Mob Lawyer: I’m scared of exposing myself to too much Bluetooth…now, start from the beginning.
Legs: Yeah, sure. Let’s…let’s do that. But just a heads up, my memory’s not what it used to be. I’m more of a ‘forget the details, remember the lunch menu’ kind of guy.
Mob Law part 2:
Legs: And then I left and went home.
Wiggum: Uh-huh. So you weren’t anywhere near the docks?
Mob Lawyer: Don’t answer that. Chief Wiggum, my client has already provided a detailed account of his riveting evening at home, involving a TV dinner and a reality show marathon.
Wiggum: Yes, but he didn’t say he was at the docks.
Mob Lawyer: Because he wasn’t. He’s more of a ‘stay at home and critique cooking shows’ kind of guy.
Wiggum: But if he wasn’t at the docks, then he couldn’t have tossed the incriminating evidence into the sea. Unless he has telekinesis, which would be a real game-changer.
Mob Lawyer: Then since he wasn’t at the docks, you clearly have no reason to continue to hold my client, do you? Unless you’re starting a book club in the holding cell.
Wiggum: I guess not. Huh. Lou? Let him go. But make a note: check if telekinesis is real.
Lou: Yes, chief. Come on, Legs. This way. And no, we’re not starting a book club.
Mob Lawyer: Thank you, Chief Wiggum. Your grasp of the law is as firm as a wet noodle.
Wiggum: You’re…you’re welcome. I think.
Legs: Thank you—
Mob Lawyer: Say nothing until we are outside. And even then, maybe just whistle a happy tune.
• Make Legs Leave the Station – 4 hours
• Make Wiggum Wonder What Just Happened – 4 hours
Mob Lawyer: All right, Legs. Please repeat your instructions to me once more, just so I’m sure you understand.
Legs: Yeah, I’m…gonna go over to Fat Tony’s compound and then stay there for the next two nights.
Mob Lawyer: And?
Legs: And I’m not going to talk to anyone but you or Fat Tony while I’m there. That means no chatting with the pizza delivery guy, no gossiping with the mailman, and definitely no heart-to-hearts with any parrots that might be eavesdropping.
Mob Lawyer: Good. Remember, silence is golden, chit-chat is…well, let’s just say it’s not silver. *phone rings*
Mob Lawyer: Yes? Thank you for letting me know, I’ll be right over. Hopefully, this is just a minor hiccup. Not like last time when it turned out to be more of a burp.
Legs: Should I be worried?
Mob Lawyer: Worrying is like a rocking chair, Legs. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere. Now scoot, and remember, mum’s the word. And in your case, let’s hope it’s not followed by ‘the’ and ‘word.’
Mob Law part 3:
Mob Lawyer: Yes, Anthony. Yes, I’ll handle it.
Mob Lawyer: Just do me a favor? I’ll take our standard precautions, but…please try and ensure that your associates understand their role in all of this. It’s like herding cats, but the cats are armed and have questionable morals.
Mob Lawyer: *hangs up phone* All right. Time to make sure that his “associates” are staying out of trouble. That’s like ensuring a fish stays dry, but hey, it’s all in a day’s work. *turns to associate*
Mob Lawyer: Remember, we need to be as inconspicuous as a nun in a nightclub. Blend in, don’t stand out. Like a zebra in a herd of…well, more zebras.
Frankie The Squealer: Got it. Low profile. Like a politician during a scandal.
Mob Lawyer: Exactly. We don’t need any more surprises. I’ve had enough to last a lifetime, like finding out your ‘all-you-can-eat’ buffet has fine print.
Mob Lawyer: Anthony, it’s time for yet another heart-to-heart.
Fat Tony: Oh? What’s stirred the pot this time?
Mob Lawyer: Your associates turned my day into a circus act. First, they followed me into a vegan bakery — I’m allergic to gluten. Then, they mistook a mime for an informant. And finally, they tried to tail me in a clown car. I mean, subtlety, ever heard of it?
Fat Tony: Oh, that’s…unfortunate. I’ll make sure they understand the art of discretion better.
Mob Lawyer: Let’s just say I’ve already given them a primer on ‘Covert Operations: The Silent, the Invisible, and the Non-Clownish.’ I expect they’ll blend in better than a chameleon at a color festival next time.
Fat Tony: I appreciate your…guidance. Anything else to keep the peace?
Mob Lawyer: Just ensure tonight’s operation is smoother than a con artist at a poker game. No more slapstick shenanigans, please.
Fat Tony: Understood. I’ll brief them: ‘Act like shadows, move like ninjas, and for goodness’ sake, leave the clown car at home.’
Fat Tony: As you say.
Mob Law part 4:
Don Vittorio: Fat Tony, so good to see you. What brings you here to my ranch this evening?
Fat Tony: Don Vittorio, I have…a problem.
Don Vittorio: Ahh, problems. I can help you with problems. What troubles you?
Fat Tony: It is my lawyer, Don Vittorio. He…troubles me.
Don Vittorio: Ahh. Does his tongue move too freely?
Fat Tony: No.
Don Vittorio: Ah, then has he not been able to keep the police out of your way?
Fat Tony: I haven’t had a problem with the police in weeks.
Don Vittorio: Then what troubles you?
Fat Tony: He…scares me, Don Vittorio. Nothing phases him. Nothing.
Don Vittorio: Nothing?
Fat Tony: Nothing.
• Make Fat Tony Shudder Nervously – 4 hours
• Make Don Vittorio Think Deeply – 4 hours
Don Vittorio: All right, Fat Tony. Here is what you shall do to fix this problem.
Fat Tony: Yes?
Don Vittorio: Do whatever he tells you to. And never make him mad.
Fat Tony: That’s it?
Don Vittorio: That’s it. If there is one thing I have learned from my many years…it is that you never, ever cross a lawyer who can scare even you.
Fat Tony: As you say.
Mob Lawyer permanent jobs:
• Task: Purchase Cheap Suits
• Time: 1 Hour
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 105 $$s, 23 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Costingtons, Mirrored Costingtons, Tomorrows Costingtons, Banana Dictatorship, Gold Navy, Shop, Brown House
• Task: Visit Clients
• Time: 4 Hours
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 260 $$s, 70 XP
• Animated: Yes
• Location: Outside – visual
• Task: Get Some Good Pasta
• Time: 8 Hours
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 420 $$s, 105 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Giuseppes
• Task: Get a Good Nights Sleep
• Time: 12 Hours
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 600 $$s, 150 XP
• Animated: Yes
• Location: Outside – visual
• Task: Drink Wine While Doing Paperwork
• Time: 24 Hours
• Premium: Yes
• Earns: 1000 $$s, 225 XP
• Animated: No
• Location: Giuseppes
There you have it, over to you. Is this a must-buy, a maybe or a hard-pass?
Your opinions might help any Addict who’s not made up their minds yet so please share your thoughts in the comments.
Back tomorrow with a look at the Returning Content in your stores.
